Mustang Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Some of you will know the story regarding my ex. I won't go into it in greater detail because I don't really want to bring it all back up again but basically, she broke up with me when she started university and got with someone else almost instantly. This has been a very hard thing to deal with because I'm still not at the stage where I'm ready to be with anybody else. But I digress.... The break up wasn't nice. I didn't handle it very well at all. It killed me. I loved my ex more than anything and I was hurt that she seemed so cool and emotionless about the break up. She just broke up with me one minute and then found it perfectly easy to act like nothing had ever happened. This would upset me even more because I would ask myself things like "after two years, how the hell can she just switch off and treat me like a stranger?!" She played the "I want to be friends" card but she never really acted on it. OK, she'd reply to text messages every now and then but only because I guess she felt guilty and didn't want to come accross as being rude. I realised after a while that I had to go NC because I wasn't healing and she was only getting closer to someone else and further away from me. She'd start treating me like a stranger more and more and I'd get angry/upset/hurt/etc. It's been almost three months of NC now and I'm really a hell of a lot better. I've started dating again and I feel ready to get back into another relationship if the right girl comes along. But the one thing that kills me is that my ex and I never talk anymore. We were together for nearly two years and were closer than I ever thought I could be with someone. To go from that to not speaking... it just seems like such a waste seeing as she was once the only person I could open up to and the only person I could be my true self around. I went to a festival over the weekend and I bumped into one of her best friends a few times. The topic of my ex came up and I told her friend that it was a shame that we weren't friends and that I hoped that we could be. I told her friend that I was over everything. She's been with someone new since day one and I'm over it all now and happy for her. Her friend said that my ex has said similar things. I half joked saying that my ex can say things but not mean them and that she probably hates me. Her friend said of course she doesn't. She then invited me to go with her to meet my ex to watch a band. I politely declined. I didn't want to put my ex in a position where she'd HAVE to see me. Anyway, last night, I sent my ex a message on Facebook (less personal than a text or phone call) just to ask if she enjoyed the festival. Nothing too full on, just a friendly two sentence message to try and break the ice. No response. I'm not upset about it. If she doesn't respond. Fine. I just think it's rude to completely ignore someone. Why on earth after all this time is my ex still being weird with me? I've told her that I'm fine with everything and that I really want to be friends and she's always said that she wants to be friends too. But she's never really acted on it. Is she just too scared to tell me that she doesn't want to be friends and is hoping that I'll get the message? I thought I was worth a bit more than that. I don't care if she's with someone new but I get the impression that my ex thinks I'm trying to win her back. Which I'm not. As I said, it's just really sad that somebody I cared about and still care about is not part of my life. What I don't get is that my ex was the one to beg me to be friends with her when she broke up with me. I told her that I couldn't go from being with her to just being friends and she got so so so upset. I cracked and remained friends with her. All that did was make the break up less harsh for her. Now she's got someone else she probably has no need or desire to speak to me. Which is pretty hurtful. There's nothing I can say or do anymore. I'm trying to build bridges and forget everything but for some reason it seems my ex wants nothing more to do with me. Which confuses me because her friends still talk to me and seem to be sympathetic and understanding about the situation. I know girls and if my ex really hated me then she'd tell her friends to not speak to me. I just don't get what the hell is going through my ex's head. Back to NC I guess. Link to comment
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