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Pretty long story but please help?


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So about a month ago I met this guy...he works at starbucks and the one i always go to. One day I finally had the balls to ask him for his number. He told me that he thought I was cute but he has a girlfriend and a kid. The week after that I went again and he started talking to me...he is a really sweet guy and I always go at his work to talk. He'd give me free ddrinks and talked about his daughter. He treats me so nice. It's been about a month and well we are getting closer...at first he started kissing me on the cheeks, then a little peck on the lips. A week ago, he gave me a nice passionate kiss saying "I always wanted to do that." I thought that was so sweet (and of course I felt bad). Now he never mentioned his girlfriend (at first yea but not anymore). I don't know if he likes me or not...what does it seem like it? (any advice?). He would give me a little kiss every time he would pass by me at work. He treats me so well. Like if I was his gf or if we were dating.


NOW, a few days ago, we were talking about sex. No I haven't slept with him. He had told me that he didn't want to pressure me to have sex with him because 1)I was too young and 2)He didn't want to get me pregnant. I told him I really didn't care how old he was and that I was careful (which i am) and i said that there was no pressure involved.

And when he walked me home he started kissing me...and then it got steamy. We started grinding on each other and he grabbed my hand to touch his erection...then when I went to visit again...he took me to this place where we usually just sit and talk....and started kissing me. He gave me a little massage and then he started fingering me. I felt weird...then he grabbed my hand and put it on his erection...and well i couldnt help it. I started stroking it. THen it lead to a blow job...


NOw here's my question....is he planning to use me just for sex?

Or could he be interested in me and may be losing interest in his gf (maybe they're together because of the kid?)?


Please help.



(ps.somehow i always get the guys with the girlfriends [yes i do feel bad but i get lonely])

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1. Sounds like he warned you way beforehand: He has a girlfriend and a kid, and has no intention of leaving either of them for you; but he wouldn't mind having a fling with you. He told you that on purpose-- so that you wouldn't expect anything of him (e.g. so that you don't expect him to be your boyfriend, lover, husband, etc.).


2. What do you want, I wonder, from a guy who's taken, and a guy who has a kid? Did it ever occur to you that even if he leaves his girlfriend for you, that still makes him a cheater? And that he is just as likely to do the same thing to you one day? Is that the kind of person you want to get involved with?


3. I'd like to mention something about the fact that you're potentially breaking up a relationship and/or family-- however, he plays just as much a part in it as you do.


I'm curious: How old are you?

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I think you are completely setting yourself up to get hurt and disappointed.

#1 How would you feel if you were this guys girlfriend? (I'm not just blaming you the guy is totally at fault here too!) It hurts like crazy to find out someone who you care about and thought cared about you is cheating on you. Do you really feel comfortable potentionally being the cause of that kind of pain towards someone? Would you do this to someone you knew? Then why is it ok to do to someone you don't know?


#2 Say this guy does leave his girlfriend for you... will you ever be able to totally trust him knowing that he is okay with cheating on his significant other? I know every girl out there thinks that "it will be different with me" but it won't be. If he is okay with cheating on someone now, (whom he also has a CHILD with) he'll be okay with cheating on you with the next girl that comes along. Do you want to put yourself in that kind of position and vulnerablity.


#3 Are you ready to accept having a child in your life? He can dump his girlfriend but he's always going to be a father. If he leaves the child as well, do you really want to be with a guy like that?


#4 Yes I do think he is just using you for sex. He has a relationship, a kid, do you know any of his friends? He has this whole entire life that you are not a part of. How well can you know him? I mean, it sounds like you are moving pretty fast from meeting, to being rejected because he is tied down, to being the person he's cheating on his girlfriend with don't you think? That's a lot to happen in a month. What kind of relationship foundation would the two of you have?


All and all I think that yes he might treat you nicely and "like his girlfriend" but you aren't his girlfriend. I think he is also showing a tremendous amount of disrespect towards his actual girlfriend and you by messing around with you while he is still with her.

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