kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Earlier tonight I went to a wine and cheese shindig at my school, and since I'm shy and it's hard for me to mingle I was pretty much just hanging around and this guy came up to me and started talking. He seemed real nice and kept asking me questions, and pretty soon we were talking and joking around. But then, just as things were going smoothly, an old friend of mine popped up and so of course we started talking. As soon as I started to think that I should probably introduce the two of them to each other, the cute guy politely bid farewell and walked off. Now I feel bad because we didn't exchange numbers or anything, and I probably won't see him again since he was there from another program. So now I'm left wondering - was he interested? And if he was, why did he walk off so suddenly when I was talking with my old friend? Since I can't spot flirting even if it hit me in the face, any advice on this would really help me out. At this point it's probably just for future/curiosity though ](*,) Link to comment
Carmine Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 He thought you weren't interested. Link to comment
ryan123 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 was it another guy you were talking to? if so he probably felt discouraged and that you were way outta his league getting guys coming up to you. if it was a chick he probably just thought you were not interested Link to comment
DN Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 As a general point of etiquette it should be standard to immediately introduce a newcomer to a conversation at a party if they don't know someone. And the reason for that is partly so you are not seeming to dismiss the person you are talking to in favour of the newcomer. By talking to your old acquaintance you made it seem as if the guy you were talking to was of no importance to you - and he probably felt embarrassed or out of place. Had you introduced him and included him - that may not have happened. Link to comment
kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 It was another girl who I hadn't seen in a good 8 years. But I was interested , I was going to go back to talking with him. Can't guys wait a little bit? lol Link to comment
kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 As a general point of etiquette it should be standard to immediately introduce a newcomer to a conversation at a party if they don't know someone. And the reason for that is partly so you are not seeming to dismiss the person you are talking to in favour of the newcomer. By talking to your old acquaintance you made it seem as if the guy you were talking to was of no importance to you - and he probably felt embarrassed or out of place. Had you introduced him and included him - that may not have happened. See I was *just* about to do that when he left. I guess I took a bit too long? Now I feel worse!:sad: Link to comment
DN Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Well, first impressions count - and he got a bad one. Basically you left him standing like a spare part. Link to comment
kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 Ouch...I learned my lesson! ](*,) Link to comment
May_It_Be Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Ouch...I learned my lesson! ](*,) I don't think it was that big of a deal ... he probably just didn't want to intrude. Just remember, next time, to make introductions immediately, and you'll make him feel welcome enough to stick around. You'll give him "permission" (or a social cue) to stay and chat. Link to comment
DN Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Well lesson learned. Are you sure there is no way you can contact him? Link to comment
kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 I don't think it was that big of a deal ... he probably just didn't want to intrude. Just remember, next time, to make introductions immediately, and you'll make him feel welcome enough to stick around. You'll give him "permission" (or a social cue) to stay and chat. I hope that's how he felt - I wouldn't want him to think that I was just going to leave him there! Now that this has happened, I'm going to introduce everyone to each other all the time lol Link to comment
kiwifly Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 Well lesson learned. Are you sure there is no way you can contact him? Well we only exchanged first names, and I can't get very far with just that at my school. Then again there was plenty of opportunity to do that before my friend popped by so maybe he wasn't intending to exchange info in the first place? Link to comment
DN Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Maybe - but if there is any way of contacting him, then say that you were enjoying his company and the conversation, sorry it got interrupted and wondered if he would like to contine it over coffee. Same if you run into him. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 It was another girl who I hadn't seen in a good 8 years. But I was interested , I was going to go back to talking with him. Can't guys wait a little bit? lol within 2 minutes if you are still talking with someone else, obviously nothing i said was good enough to keep your attention. you just blew this guy off. Link to comment
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