Want to fool around with client, confused.

[Luke Skywalker]

Last Saturday, I took a client out to show her condos, and she was in my car and asked me what I was thinking about and insisted - I told her I was thinking of her sexy legs. She asked if I was thinking of touching them, and I said 'yes', and she let me touch them. Then she suggested that we could spend a coulple of hours fondling each other without sex. There is a logistical problem where I she wont do anything in my car, she's not a motel/hotel girl, and she cant come to my house because I live with my parents and mom would not approve of this (leaving her place?) - and/or she feels she already has me since I said that I may likely go ahead with that idea (she mentioned that, but was confused to what that meant).

 

Today, I saw this client again, and made an extra full throttle effort to maintain a purely business front. I showed her a condo today. She's going to show it to her brother later. Then she asked me if I ate dinner before. I told her no, but I'm not hungry, she said she's hungry. I don't know what happened, but I dismissed the whole thing and went back to my office saying that I was not hungry enough to eat anything.

 

Given what happened on Saturday, I now have that ackward moment where I feel like did I just reject her and she was making it blatantly obvious she wanted to have dinner? (We went out for lunch at an occasion before). I feel so confused, I don't know if I've encountered some weird mirage in a desert, of if this is for real.

 

Anyway, just thought I'd write this here, perhaps to sort out my thoughts - am I being oblivious to obvious hints or signs, should I just keep this strictly business (she's said that our business relationship won't be effected as she can see I need help if I've never touched a woman sexually before -- I'm like what - is she offering herself). Where do you draw the line between professionalism and whatever this is?

[blue_dahlia]

It's for real, and yes, you did reject her. But that's ok.

 

How old are you? How old is she? Are you in a relationship? Is she? How much longer will she be a client? What potential issues do you forsee if you go ahead with it? What are you hoping to gain from it?

[Luke Skywalker]

It's for real, and yes, you did reject her. But that's ok.

 

How old are you? How old is she? Are you in a relationship? Is she? How much longer will she be a client? What potential issues do you forsee if you go ahead with it? What are you hoping to gain from it?

 

This is for real or I wouldn't be writing this. I do not want to reject her. This may be the only chance I have in a long time to find out how a woman feels like. I was planning to buy a blow up doll come the end of next month - Octoberish -- if I try something with her, I may have a chance of the real thing.

 

I'm 32 years old, she's about the same age category as I am, 29 y/o to 32 y/o. I have never been in a serious relationship before, and she's single for as far as I know. She's talking witha guy. She'll be a client UNTIL I find her the right condo, which the way things are going, may be quite a while.

 

I don't see any potential issues as it's perfectually consentual and we aren't doing any business in anyone else's property, so it's a free country from that standpoint. In terms of morality I'm a born-again Christian, and part of being a Christian is a hand-off approach with sexuality except to a person you are married to, however, I also believe that as a human being that it's natural to have certain desires and there is an appropriate time and place for them, and that these behaviours could be a blue moon thing - that I can understand, but as far as seriously going ahead with anything is another story.

 

I feel so helpless. It's like, I rejected her and need her in some capacity at the same time, if what you are saying is true. I was totally alloff with her and expected her to throw herself on me, she didn't throw herself so I thought she rejected me or wasn't interested anymore -- wow, so confusing.

[blue_dahlia]

I don't think it's too late if you are interested. But in the future, if a woman says, "are you hungry?" and you reply, "no" and she says, "well, I'm hungry" - take her out for a bite to eat

 

She was very forward the first time, and a bit more passive the second. Sounds like you have thought about the consequences, as well as the positive aspects. Have you truly thought about the repercussions? Can she file sexual harassment charges against you? Only you can truly decide what to do.

 

However, if you decide to move forward, next time you're together, ask her if she's hungry, go and grab a bite to eat, make eye contact, smile. Follow her lead, she'll let you know if the offer is still on the table.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It's usually a very bad idea to have this kind of exchange with a client because if she gets displeased with you for any reason she could call and get you fired. Many companies have policies against dating clients.

 

Also, have you considered trying to date women at your church? You write that you are very religious on the one hand, but keep starting these threads about flirting with married women or older women or clients.

 

Can you advertise on Christian dating sites or groups and start looking for a girl that fits into your whole lifestyle ideology? I really think that might be a better long term option for you.

[Luke Skywalker]

It's usually a very bad idea to have this kind of exchange with a client because if she gets displeased with you for any reason she could call and get you fired. Many companies have policies against dating clients.

 

I'm not really hired and paid a salary but am an INDEPENDENT contractor, and have customers complained against something in the past and the broker laughed it off and sided with me each time. I do not really see a threat there. Also, I do not understand what I can do to displease her since I'm already on pins and needles and am rather over-cautious rather than the other way around - as shown by my behaviour today. I'm more likely to displease her by inadvertantly rejecting her than anything else.

 

Also, have you considered trying to date women at your church? You write that you are very religious on the one hand, but keep starting these threads about flirting with married women or older women or clients.

 

I just recently started going to a new church, but it's a Spanish church and I'm not Spanish. I haven't found anyone that has taken a liking to me in any church I have been to so far.

 

The reason I start threads is because obviously I don't necessarily understand myself or what I am doing, and need constructive input to help put things into an ethical perspective where it appears that deprivation of a woman's touch or attention appears to be impinging on my moral sensibilities.

Nevertheless, these threads are uneventful anyway.

 

For example, I'm not talking to the married woman much anymore. I just talked with her a bit, she was a bit friendly, but then that was it. I read too much into it and thought it was something else. In the business world, you have to talk to people, including married people. In that thread, I just felt something was a bit weird or out of the ordinary and wanted feedback.

 

The older woman, just meet her for coffee and called her a few times. That's it. That thread isn't locked so you can read it again yourself to see how it's ended. I've decided on a non-pursual and that's over.

 

Finally, the client is being dealt with on this thread. Techincally it's still open. But again, if someone on this site, has NEVER touched anyone of the opposite sex at 32 years old or over in a sexual way, then that person is the best qualified to understand the deprivation that I feel, and how you could just feel hungry for touch.

 

Now, I'm not ACTIVLY seeking stuff like that. In all these threads I've taken a passive role and merely responded back to people who raised issues or who were interested in me. It's obvious that if I was really desperate, I could really just hire a hooker for two hours and feel her body if that's all I want - but that's not my style. The point is, I'm not actively seeking anything, but if something comes my way, then I want to help myself if I can.

 

Can you advertise on Christian dating sites or groups and start looking for a girl that fits into your whole lifestyle ideology? I really think that might be a better long term option for you.

 

I don't believe in online dating because I just think girls are superficial and just tend to ignore me and my profile and go after guys with exceptionally good looks or whatever, but that's another can of worms for another thread that I think is already flogged to death on here. I do not think I have that many options in life and just have to make the best of whatever is there.

 

I am praying, and obviously this is considered a 'mountain in life' as it's obviously a chronic sort of issue - to find the right woman.

[Luke Skywalker]

IHave you truly thought about the repercussions? Can she file sexual harassment charges against you? Only you can truly decide what to do.

 

If she's trying to help me out in her mind as I obviously have no experience, then why would I have to worry about her making a false rape charge? That would be sadistical. I'm not dealing with a sadist, she's normal. It's like someone trying to save someone from drowning, and then shooting them on the head when they get into the boat. These are analogies, but it illustrates the point. If someone is out to help, then you don't expect they are going to hurt you worst than if they never helped you in the first place - and if so, it would be inadvertently or unintentionally.

 

The worst reprocussion, in my view, is she withdraws and finds another agent to do business with - and I don't even see that happening.

[blue_dahlia]

If she's trying to help me out in her mind as I obviously have no experience, then why would I have to worry about her making a false rape charge? That would be sadistical. I'm not dealing with a sadist, she's normal.

 

First of all, I said sexual harassment, which is much broader than just rape. Furthermore, don't be naive. I'm sure many men thought a woman was deemed "normal" only to find when things didn't go her way there were consequences.

 

We provided you with some questions to ponder. You seem defensive, which to me sounds like your mind is already made up. Best of luck to you!!

[Luke Skywalker]

First of all, I said sexual harassment, which is much broader than just rape. Furthermore, don't be naive. I'm sure many men thought a woman was deemed "normal" only to find when things didn't go her way there were consequences.

 

We provided you with some questions to ponder. You seem defensive, which to me sounds like your mind is already made up. Best of luck to you!!

 

I do not understand what you mean, when you say things didn't go her way. IN this particular case, you could say that the fact I rejected her is something that didn't go her way because that's all that has happened so far over her hint to dinner. By that logic there should already be consequences if she expected me to go out to dinner with her, because technically that didn't go her way if I rejected her.

 

Anyway, if you can make a scenerio of something not going her way (other than me rejecting her), I'd like to hear it, because if she's offering some sort of favour because she feels sorry for me then I don't see what could potentially go wrong. There is no sex involved and what she proposed was mutual fondling for a space of time to get used to a woman's body. As I've said, I'm already over-cautious as it is and act like I'm walking on pins and needles anyway so it's not likely that I'm going to overstep any boundaries with her.

 

This may be a moot thread case anyway as I have no immediate plans to see her again as there are no other condos around that are available. This whole thing will probably just sink away anyway like the other threads I've written. Nothing ever happens here anyway.