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Letter to my boss


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Below is a letter to my boss.


Today I got home, where she sent me an e-mail highlighting schedule changes. The schedule was changed so I am working 3 days in a row with our most difficult client. This is a response to her changes.


Back story: "Victoria" will often touch herself. Female staff have caught her many times sticking her hands in her pants, rubbing, then bringing her hand out to sniff.


Last week, "Victoria" was at a park with another staff member. She ran up to a stranger, started pulling at her (strangers) hair and proceeded to punch and kick her in the face. Police had to be called. Client was taken away in handcuffs.


Below is my e-mail to my boss. I don't want to sound rude or sound like a suck.




Hi Bonnie


It d0es c0ncern me h0w many schedule bl0cks I have with Victoria as I am finding it increasingly stressful w0rking with her. To the p0int where I am having nightmares and l0sing sleep. I am aware that her parents d0 n0t want male staff w0rking with her; I think it’s fair f0r me t0 ask why, be it 0ver-pr0tectivism 0r if there has been any allegati0ns in her past. And al0ng the same lines, with her rec0rded behavi0urs I w0uld 0nly feel c0mf0rtable w0rking with her with an0ther staff member in line 0f sight. It was my understanding that last week I was to work with her in the “meeting room”, this would concern me as there is only one small window in that room, with little visibility.





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Well I guess it doesn't matter now, I just send it. I axed the part about giving me nightmares, I felt that saying "increasingly stressful" was enough.


I know there are other female staff members who are outright refusing to work with her, which is probably why I am getting stuck with her. I am just fuming. If she exhibited her touching behaviours and someone misinterpreted that as something I was encouraging, then my professional career as anything would be over.

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She shouldn't be in our program, truth be told. Now we have a virtual 2:1 support. Where if I need help I can call someone and get them to help. So pretty much it's just on paper 2:1, you are still working alone with her.


She also hates babies, to the point where she will attack a baby if she sees one. The reason she was kicked out of her last agency is because she sent a toddler to the hospital. The kid was crying so she picked up his helmet and threw it at him.

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Good for you. For sure, in that situation - not just for your welfare, but for hers, a male should not be working with her.


What exactly is it that you do, Samedy? If you don't mind me asking you.


Working with difficult clients, and getting care arranged, I've seen all too often corners being cut and people being put in situations they shouldn't be simply because the client is difficult. It's because they are running out of options - too often, a lot is left unsaid that should be said !


I've also seen more than one good co-worker with excellent intentions, get caught up in drama that could have easily been prevented had they refused to work in conditions that put themselves and the client in danger (not merely physical, but legal!).


And believe me, once an allegation is made, it is hard to wipe that off your reputation, whether it is cleared or not. It is something that gets passed by word of mouth. People remember and make unfair calls. Officially, none of that should be happening, but it's a fact of life.

Hasn't happened to me, but a co-worker of mine that is highly skilled and top notch.


Hope you get the schedule changes you are looking for.

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What exactly is it that you do, Samedy? If you don't mind me asking you.


And believe me, once an allegation is made, it is hard to wipe that off your reputation, whether it is cleared or not. It is something that gets passed by word of mouth. People remember and make unfair calls. Officially, none of that should be happening, but it's a fact of life.


In theory I am supposed to find the disabled jobs and get them more involved in the community. Which is why this girl is in the wrong program, and why the altercation last week occurred. Even with this girls history, the agency still pushes us to get her more involved in the community. There view is we should be helping her "get over" her aggression towards children. The truly frightening part is, the woman she attacked was holding her newborn baby. Had client seen the baby, and focused her rage on him, she would have easily killed him.


And I agree with you about the danger of allegations. A man at my work was accused (and it does look like he is guilty, but he hasn't been tried yet) of sexual exploitation of a client. You do a search for his name on the Internet, the first thing that comes up is the article in the paper about him being accused of such and such. The way I look at it, any such accusation, regardless of truthfulness, could easily end someone's career.

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Well, hopefully she'll understand your concerns.


This is off topic but, what is the meaning of your capitol "O's"?


It's just a precaution on my part. If my boss were to cut and paste the email into google, she would get zero results because I changed the o's to 0's.

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Oh Samedy, don't even get me started on some of the stuff that passes for "in the best interests of the client" in agencies! lol.


I feel for you. Seriously! So you and I are on the two ends of the phone, so to speak, as my work is with agencies.


It can be really frustrating. The situation you described, well in my opinion, shouldn't have even happened! She shouldn't have been put in a situation where she's led out in cuffs (and that's just the client's side! never mind that poor baby and mom!).


Wow. Keep strong and I hope your boss is good one. What you are asking is super-reasonable, and just so well, common sense so I can really understand your situation.

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Wow. I think if you are required to work with such a difficult client, then you have a right to demand another witness in the room with you at all times. In fact, I'm amazed that your boss didn't do this automatically to protect both you and the company you work for.


I'd insist upon that, in fact insist that if no one else is available, your boss be with you herself. If she won't, then kick it up the chain, and to HR if necessary. You need to protect both yourself and the company in such circumstances.

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To avoid making a new thread:


At what point do I quit this agency? I have in all honesty been applying to all types of jobs since I started working there, 2 yrs. For the most part, the only reason I am still working there is because I don't want there to be any long gaps in between jobs. As they say, it's easier to get a job when you have a job.


The other side of the coin is I also have a part time teaching job. Which, as it would appear on my resume, would not look like a gap in between work. But it could look like job hopping.


I've typed up a letter of resignation with Wednesdays date on it. I figure I won't have time or the opportunity to speak face to face with my supervisor tomorrow, but I will on Wednesday. I'm not even sure if I plan to use it.


How do people get these good jobs that everyone seems to have?

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Well, I just got off the phone with my boss. I asked her if she received my e-mails (I also requested two weeks off in mid-sept). She told me we can talk about it tomorrow after the staff meeting.


I wonder if I'm going to quit tomorrow?

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If she's trying to work it out with you, keep working while looking for a new job.


You said you'd been looking and haven't found anything... which means the market for what you do isn't great where you are. You don't know how hard (or how long) it would be to get another job and might run out of savings, so best to keep working AND keep looking.

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