ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have decided that tonight will be my last internet date for a while. I am meeting a guy at 7pm. We decided that we are just going to go for a walk. If there is no chemistry, we are going to walk away without feeling like we wasted anything. I think 9 months of dating is more than enough for now. I will try to meet more people off line. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Do you think there is any hope for me? Or should I just give up on the whole dating thing for good? Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 oh come on... There's always hope. Link to comment
lapseinjudgement Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 i have always been a firm believer of the fact that once you stop looking love will find you. But than again i like to look at that as a bit annoying at times and just consider it (finding love) something that shouldnt be forced or rushed into just take it slow and see what happens. There is hope for everyone too by the way dont be down on yourself. Be positive and happy and it will go a long way. =D (easier said than done yes but still...) Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 My past is coming back to hurt me. On Saturday night I went out with some friends and heard all the wonderful rumors that people are spreading about me. I need to find a new social circle. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I wouldn't be friends with people who start rumors about me. And the reason why you are having a hard time fiinding somebody is because your trying to hard. Just relax and stop worrying about if your gonna find someone or not. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 I wouldn't be friends with people who start rumors about me. And the reason why you are having a hard time fiinding somebody is because your trying to hard. Just relax and stop worrying about if your gonna find someone or not. I have no idea who is starting rumors and why, but I can guess that it is one of my exes, or one of the people that my ex dated after me. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have no idea who is starting rumors and why, but I can guess that it is one of my exes, or one of the people that my ex dated after me. Who cares about rumors anyway. How old are you? and how old are your friends? They sounds really mature. Link to comment
SchecterGuy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Yeah I have been on a few online dates recently and I have felt nothing. It was so much easier about 6 or 7 years ago to find a girl to be with. Now I am having a helluva time. I am feeling pretty low now. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 i have always been a firm believer of the fact that once you stop looking love will find you. But than again i like to look at that as a bit annoying at times and just consider it (finding love) something that shouldnt be forced or rushed into just take it slow and see what happens. There is hope for everyone too by the way dont be down on yourself. Be positive and happy and it will go a long way. =D (easier said than done yes but still...) I think there is some truth to that, but people have to put themselves into social situations or they likely won't find anyone. Love doesn't normaly come knocking on one's door in the form of a pizza delivery boy. That said, to the OP, i am not sure that giving up on online dating is your answer. Nine months is not all that long if that is how long you have been doing this. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 I am almost 40 years old. I think that people can be immature at any age. I have never been single for this long, EVER. This is the first time when I am making a decision to look carefully and not jump into another relationship that is not good for me. I would like to get married, so I do not feel like wasting any more time with guys that do not have any intention of looking for something serious. My reputation as a party girl is the problem. Everyone assumes that I am still only out to have a good time, so no one is taking me seriously. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I never got the impression that you are a party girl from reading your posts however, if you have that rep then it prob has some truth. Try and find a new crew to socialize with. The ones you have now seem very immature. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 yc, you shouldn't hang out with people like that. rumors? eeesh. i haven't heard of rumors since i was in high school. when meeting these guys don't expect too much at the start. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 yc, you shouldn't hang out with people like that. rumors? eeesh. i haven't heard of rumors since i was in high school. when meeting these guys don't expect too much at the start. ha if you work in an office it's the same thing as highschool, it's pathetic. Everyone trys to find out all of your personal info so they can spread it with everyone else. That's why I don't have too many friends from work. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I am almost 40 years old. I think that people can be immature at any age. I have never been single for this long, EVER. This is the first time when I am making a decision to look carefully and not jump into another relationship that is not good for me. I would like to get married, so I do not feel like wasting any more time with guys that do not have any intention of looking for something serious. My reputation as a party girl is the problem. Everyone assumes that I am still only out to have a good time, so no one is taking me seriously. so these do not sound like rumors as much as they sound like your reputation caught up with you. When someone has a poor reputation the only way around it is to change their lifestyle. Eventually everyone will notice you have changed and are no longer just good time greta. A 40 year old with a rep as a "party girl" will be much harder and take longer to change in people's mindsets than a 20 year old. It is what it is. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Well, the truth is that I keep my personal life very private when I am at work. When I go out however, I tend to have a good time and let loose. These two parts of my life are not connected. I am trying to find some balance where I can be more social at work...and more inhibited at play. Some people have noticed how much I have changed over the past 10 years, but I do not go around advertising my accomplishments, so it is taking longer to catch up to the rest of the crowd. I think I am doing the right thing, but it surprises me to see that some people still act like they are in HS, even though they are in their 30's and 40's. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Find new friends. When people need to talk about other people it is usually because thier life isn't interesting enough to talk about. And why would you be friends with boring people? Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Find new friends. When people need to talk about other people it is usually because thier life isn't interesting enough to talk about. And why would you be friends with boring people? They are not really friends. They are acquaintances that frequent some of the same establishments. They have similar tastes in music and that is where the similarities end. Most of my friends are married professionals. I do not have too many single friends, so when I go out I see some of the same people....but I am not close to any of them....hence the rumors. They make stuff up about me. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 yc, you shouldn't hang out with people like that. rumors? eeesh. i haven't heard of rumors since i was in high school. when meeting these guys don't expect too much at the start. I don't expect anything in the beginning, but if there is no chemistry, then I move on. If there is chemistry, I go on a couple of dates to see if there is any potential. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have an idea. You are looking for an established, wealthy, single man. Why don't you just start hanging out at steak houses, Ruths Chris, Morton's, Capital Grille. Go to these places by yourself, sit at the bar, and make yourself approachable. It's all business men there so your chances are very high. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have an idea. You are looking for an established, wealthy, single man. Why don't you just start hanging out at steak houses, Ruths Chris, Morton's, Capital Grille. Go to these places by yourself, sit at the bar, and make yourself approachable. It's all business men there so your chances are very high. LOL, either that, or they will think I am a prostitute. I do go to these places with my friends, but most people are either on dates or on business and married. I am not sure how many single guys go to Morton's to pick up chicks. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 When you go out with friends you make yourself less approachable. Go by yourself noone there will think your a prostitute. And yes there are plenty of men your age and older there. Just because they are on business doesn't mean they are married. Try it a few times and let me know what happens. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 When you go out with friends you make yourself less approachable. Go by yourself noone there will think your a prostitute. And yes there are plenty of men your age and older there. Just because they are on business doesn't mean they are married. Try it a few times and let me know what happens. I will try it, but I am pretty shy, so it may not be that easy to just do it. Link to comment
george237 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I will try it, but I am pretty shy, so it may not be that easy to just do it. Hey I am shy sometimes as well but I still will go out by myself on occasion to try and meet new people. It really isn't the hardest thing in the world and it gets easier everytime you do it. Just make sure you don't drink that much. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hey I am shy sometimes as well but I still will go out by myself on occasion to try and meet new people. It really isn't the hardest thing in the world and it gets easier everytime you do it. Just make sure you don't drink that much. That is the catch 22. You have one drink to relax. Then someone buys you a drink...so that's 2. Then you buy them a drink and by then it's 3 drinks...and the rest is history. I am trying to do it without drinking. Should be an interesting experiment. Link to comment
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