jenna981 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I went on a couple of dates this weekend with guys from online personals (if you've followed my posts you know I'm not too keen on doing this, but not too many choices on places to meet people in my area). I figured I'd just get out and try getting my mind off the ex and maybe just meet some friends. Not to put the guys I seen down, but I just didn't feel anything. One told me he all of a sudden felt a connection with me after a few hours and it was the first time we met! The other one seemed to be a bit too much on the wild side for me. They were both nice and gentlemen, I just didn't feel anything. Just made me miss my ex even more, how him and me just hit it off almost instantly. Everything seemed to flow naturally with him. I miss his personality. I can't believe I messed up and lost such a great guy. Did anyone feel like this when they started to date again? Does it mean it's too soon to try looking ? Anyway to stop thinking and feeling this? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 You're not ready to date. You're like me. You gotta find someone you actually like. And these guys you meet only end up depressing you more b/c you want insta-love/relationship like you just lost. It will come: patience. Link to comment
jammer180 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I tried to meet people right away too, and it made me feel worse and miss my ex more too. Can't help but compare everyone I meet to him, and I also want the instant connection I had with him when we first met.... feels like it'll never happen again. I feel like I'm forcing myself to date right now so I decided to stop. I know I'm doing it becuase I was ready to be in a loving commited relationship, and I don't want this breakup to ruin me and waste my time getting over him while I could be giving my love to someone. Also, I forced myself to date because I know he will be dating soon if he isn't already. But it's not a race. I'm obviously not ready, and it sounds like you aren't either. I wish I had advice on how to help you move along, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I just know I'm not ready right now to date. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Exactly, you're not ready to date if they just disappoint you. Wait a while, a good one will come along. Takes time. Link to comment
goodkarma_1 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I agree, your not ready to date. I havent gone on any dates yet but just talking to the random guys that i meet places can be quite depressing I understand. You miss the compatibilty of the ex, the comfort.....but believe that someone will come along one day when you least expect it and sweep you off you feet. I have to convince myself of this everyday. Its the early stages and you need time for you. Do something that makes you happy. Learn something new, read some good books, explore new music. One day at a time....it will get better smile! take care, goodkarma_1 Link to comment
stereoeclectic Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 keep trying. find somebody you like and keep an open mind and heart. Link to comment
ghostgirl116 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 hey there... i have had a few offers to go out, and one guy in particular seems really keen on meeting me. at first i was really flattered, and even thought i wanted to. now i just feel like i don't want to jump into anything at all right now, and the guy seems to really want to meet me. but i really feel ya! gg Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I know what you mean, if you're not ready, you're not ready. Other guys depress me b/c they aren't the one that I wanted. It means you're not over the last guy. Difficult predicament... Link to comment
SchecterGuy Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I am in the same boat. I have gone on a few dates and I felt nothing. Just made me feel more empty and hollow. I do not know how people move on after long term relationships. The irony is if people do not have a few relationships their one big one seems doomed to fail. Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I felt the immediate need to not only find someone, but find someone smarter, more physically attractive, etc., than my ex. I was pushing these things for several reasons...and people are trying to tell me - go out, have fun with friends, but don't push the meeting someone thing. It will happen. But it's been less than two months, I'm not exactly 80 years old...so it's no big thing. Give yourselves a break, all of you. Let yourselves heal. Link to comment
riley123 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 I think the best thing you can do when meeting people is not to expect too much. They are not your ex. They will never be your ex. Think of dating as a way to meet new people and expand your social horizon. If you are genuinely interested in someone then that’s a bonus. But I think it's unlikely that you'll meet 'the one' right now because you’re not in a receptive state. You will only be able to open your heart once it is healed. Link to comment
jenna981 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 Do yous tell people you are going on a date with that you've been through a rough breakup and still healing? I think it would be turn off, but would explain why I wouldn't be looking to rush anything. Link to comment
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