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meeting others made me feel worse

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I went on a couple of dates this weekend with guys from online personals (if you've followed my posts you know I'm not too keen on doing this, but not too many choices on places to meet people in my area). I figured I'd just get out and try getting my mind off the ex and maybe just meet some friends.


Not to put the guys I seen down, but I just didn't feel anything. One told me he all of a sudden felt a connection with me after a few hours and it was the first time we met! The other one seemed to be a bit too much on the wild side for me. They were both nice and gentlemen, I just didn't feel anything.


Just made me miss my ex even more, how him and me just hit it off almost instantly. Everything seemed to flow naturally with him. I miss his personality. I can't believe I messed up and lost such a great guy.


Did anyone feel like this when they started to date again? Does it mean it's too soon to try looking ? Anyway to stop thinking and feeling this?

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I tried to meet people right away too, and it made me feel worse and miss my ex more too. Can't help but compare everyone I meet to him, and I also want the instant connection I had with him when we first met.... feels like it'll never happen again. I feel like I'm forcing myself to date right now so I decided to stop. I know I'm doing it becuase I was ready to be in a loving commited relationship, and I don't want this breakup to ruin me and waste my time getting over him while I could be giving my love to someone. Also, I forced myself to date because I know he will be dating soon if he isn't already. But it's not a race. I'm obviously not ready, and it sounds like you aren't either. I wish I had advice on how to help you move along, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I just know I'm not ready right now to date.

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I agree, your not ready to date. I havent gone on any dates yet but just talking to the random guys that i meet places can be quite depressing I understand. You miss the compatibilty of the ex, the comfort.....but believe that someone will come along one day when you least expect it and sweep you off you feet. I have to convince myself of this everyday. Its the early stages and you need time for you. Do something that makes you happy. Learn something new, read some good books, explore new music. One day at a time....it will get better smile!


take care,


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hey there... i have had a few offers to go out, and one guy in particular seems really keen on meeting me. at first i was really flattered, and even thought i wanted to. now i just feel like i don't want to jump into anything at all right now, and the guy seems to really want to meet me. but i really feel ya!



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I felt the immediate need to not only find someone, but find someone smarter, more physically attractive, etc., than my ex. I was pushing these things for several reasons...and people are trying to tell me - go out, have fun with friends, but don't push the meeting someone thing. It will happen. But it's been less than two months, I'm not exactly 80 years old...so it's no big thing.


Give yourselves a break, all of you. Let yourselves heal.

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I think the best thing you can do when meeting people is not to expect too much.


They are not your ex. They will never be your ex.


Think of dating as a way to meet new people and expand your social horizon. If you are genuinely interested in someone then that’s a bonus. But I think it's unlikely that you'll meet 'the one' right now because you’re not in a receptive state.


You will only be able to open your heart once it is healed.

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