Too trusting

[mintblossom]

In my past relationships, I've always been very laid back and trusting. I tend to believe what the guy says and to just go with the flow. I also let a lot of things slide. It's only been later, after the breakup and I see their true colors that I realize that he was probably cheating at some points. It's never hurt because I always found out after the whole relationship was over and also because I don't find the men worthwhile anymore. I've also had strong suspicions based on certain signs that I haven't really followed up with.

 

But I really think there's a fine line between giving the other person their space and being really laidback and setting appropriate boundaries, but I think I tend to be more of the former. What do you think is the right style?

[lana111]

i figure, you trust until you have reason not to trust. i have no doubt that my bf is faithful. sure i have feelings of jealousy from time to time, but nothing to make me go crazy.

 

should he do something suspicious/shady, then ill start asking questions... but until then i will remain laid back.

[Lana0120]

Respectfully... I disagree with Lana. In an ideal world, it'd be nice to trust unconditionally at first, until you have reason to do otherwise, but if you're too trusting, people DO take advantage of your trusting nature. I'm not saying to be a tyrant or anything, or even itnerrogate, but keep your eyes open at the start as there IS such a thing as a healthy bit of caution early on in a relationship. Don't give your heart away too soon otherwise you miss the signs.

[kuhl282000]

I found that being laidback is good for relaxing .......and being around other people ....but if you find them telling you that your to laid back ...they are sending you well sort of a message ......and that might be in the form of.....hay lets get out there and do something....lets get active ......

 

And if you don't pick up on these things....well you sort of just get left in the dust ....I also found that you should confront your true feelings and don't let people walk all over you ....