So angry and at the end of my teather...

[SadHatter]

Hi everyone,

 

Not posted on here for a while, but I'm back after an 'incident' last night involving my ex-gf of 2 years.

 

She broke up with me in January, she said she didn't "see me that way anymore" and things had "become boring". We tried the friends thing until April, it didn't work out and then we went our separate ways. I found out through various people we both knew that she'd slept with four different guys in the space of 2 months since we broke up, and has now slept with like 6 different guys in total in 6 months (I had been her first), so it did surprise me somewhat.

 

Anyway, I found out she got a new boyfriend, who ironically has the same name as me, which is slightly strange, and she's been with him about one month now.

 

Last week she sent me a text message saying that her grandad had suffered a heart attack and I sent my best wishes and said I'd like to send him a card (he was lovely), but she said she felt it would confuse him etc...she didn't seem keen on me doing so, I don't know whether that was because she didn't want her new boyfriend knowing she'd been in contact with me, or whether her parents would wonder why she'd spoken to me - I just don't know, but I was trying to be nice and I just thought 'stuff you' basically.

 

Anyway, for the past two weeks, I have been getting prank calls and text messages from a random number, when I ask who it is, they give stupid answers like Father Christmas etc. etc. Everytime they call, they ring from a withheld number, which I have to answer because I get a lot of business calls on my mobile phone, which usually come from withheld numbers.

 

I tried the whole going along with the cherade when the people called and were being stupid, I humoured them and said things like, "We can chat as long as you like - it's your phone bill you're wasting!". I figured they'd get bored if I didn't react and would stop, rather than if I said to leave me alone etc. as they'd see it was annoying me and do it all the more. It was a girl talking to me, but I didn't recognise the voice, and I couldn't work out who it was. They'd just say really immature and stupid things down the phone and then girls in the background would laugh...nothing personal, just weird, nonsensical stuff.

 

Anyway, last night I was downstairs and my mobile phone was upstairs. I came upstairs and saw on my phone I'd had three missed calls, all from the said ex-girlfriend, which I found weird and wondered why she was contacting me as she would be at a music festival that she goes to every year. I thought I ought to text her to see if everything was OK, I thought maybe something had happened to her grandad. She didn't reply to my text. Weird I thought, but I got ready and went out to a club with some friends and didn't think any more of it.

 

At 4am I am at a friends house with a couple of girl friends and I get a phone call on my mobile from a withheld number. I panicked, thinking who would be ringing me at this time, as you do, and my first thoughts were, "I hope my little nephew is OK" because when you get a call at that time, you fear the worst don't you.

 

On the end of the line is some stupid girl, I recognise the voice as that girl who has been prank calling me the past two weeks...again she's saying stupid things to me, only this time she starts becoming personal about me and even insulting my dad...I'm a professional singer and she was saying I couldn't sing, your dad can't sing too (he's been a pro singer for 35 years) and I was just saying...OK OK, haven't you got anything better to do???

 

Then, suddenly, I hear my ex-girlfriend's voice in the background and I hear her laughing....I say...OK, well I've just heard XXXX (ex-gf) in the background...so why are you calling me? And why did she call me three times earlier? This girl replies, "Yes...its XXXX's best friend here". I know the girl. She's horrible. The worst girl you could ever meet, just a horrible person, never ever ever liked her. They're at this music festival. She says, "Yeah we were bored earlier and wanted someone to laugh at but you didn't answer the phone, but we got bored again now so decided to call you again to laugh at you". I said, "That's lovely...now I really don't have time for this, unlike you I have a life and am out with a couple of girls." Then I hear my ex-girlfriend in the background say, "Oh, who's that - Ki-Ora and Micky Mouse?" and they start laughing. A month or so previously, I'd seen my ex-girlfriend in a bar and exchanged pleasantries and said I'd dated a girl called Kara and a girl called Mikki and so she was mocking their names, saying Ki-Ora (which is a drink) and Micky Mouse. I said, "That's really mature, why don't you grow up? You really are stupid little girls aren't you?"

 

My ex-girlfriend's friend then says, "By the way, XXXX says she doesn't have to fake orgasms with her new boyfriend if that means anything to you"...I just said "Oh right...am I supposed to be bothered by that? This is so childish, I'd be embarrassed if I was you."

 

Her friend then says, "So are you still in love with XXXXX??" in a sarcastic tone and I say, "Errr....yeah...I never leave her alone and am so in love with her...that's why YOU are ringing ME at 4am, from a music festival you've paid £100 to go to" and I laughed, they went a bit silent then as though they didn't know what to say.

 

I was also treated to such comments as, "XXXXX new boyfriend is a kickboxer and he's SO going to kick you in when he sees you". I said, "OK....good luck to him".

 

I just feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry at this situation....tonight is the last night of the music festival, I have a feeling they're going to do it again tonight, I don't know whether to not answer it, to answer it and tell them they are really becoming irritating now and to leave me alone....what do you guys think?

 

I never thought my ex would treat me this way. There's nothing she can say to get out of this...she was there, some of the calls came from her mobile, and these prank calls I've been getting from her friend - her friend could only have got my number from my ex. What a lovely girl. After 2 years together! She even insulted my dad.

 

I'm so angry and I have to say pretty hurt too, I have no idea who this person is anymore. What's weird is, she broke up with me and has a new bf, so why is she even bothering to ring me, albeit to get kicks out of mocking me. Does anyone understand this?!

 

By the way, she's 18, I am 25.

[metrogirl]

Hi everyone,

 

Not posted on here for a while, but I'm back after an 'incident' last night involving my ex-gf of 2 years.

 

She broke up with me in January, she said she didn't "see me that way anymore" and things had "become boring". We tried the friends thing until April, it didn't work out and then we went our separate ways. I found out through various people we both knew that she'd slept with four different guys in the space of 2 months since we broke up, and has now slept with like 6 different guys in total in 6 months (I had been her first), so it did surprise me somewhat.

 

Anyway, I found out she got a new boyfriend, who ironically has the same name as me, which is slightly strange, and she's been with him about one month now.

 

Last week she sent me a text message saying that her grandad had suffered a heart attack and I sent my best wishes and said I'd like to send him a card (he was lovely), but she said she felt it would confuse him etc...she didn't seem keen on me doing so, I don't know whether that was because she didn't want her new boyfriend knowing she'd been in contact with me, or whether her parents would wonder why she'd spoken to me - I just don't know, but I was trying to be nice and I just thought 'stuff you' basically.

 

Anyway, for the past two weeks, I have been getting prank calls and text messages from a random number, when I ask who it is, they give stupid answers like Father Christmas etc. etc. Everytime they call, they ring from a withheld number, which I have to answer because I get a lot of business calls on my mobile phone, which usually come from withheld numbers.

 

I tried the whole going along with the cherade when the people called and were being stupid, I humoured them and said things like, "We can chat as long as you like - it's your phone bill you're wasting!". I figured they'd get bored if I didn't react and would stop, rather than if I said to leave me alone etc. as they'd see it was annoying me and do it all the more. It was a girl talking to me, but I didn't recognise the voice, and I couldn't work out who it was. They'd just say really immature and stupid things down the phone and then girls in the background would laugh...nothing personal, just weird, nonsensical stuff.

 

Anyway, last night I was downstairs and my mobile phone was upstairs. I came upstairs and saw on my phone I'd had three missed calls, all from the said ex-girlfriend, which I found weird and wondered why she was contacting me as she would be at a music festival that she goes to every year. I thought I ought to text her to see if everything was OK, I thought maybe something had happened to her grandad. She didn't reply to my text. Weird I thought, but I got ready and went out to a club with some friends and didn't think any more of it.

 

At 4am I am at a friends house with a couple of girl friends and I get a phone call on my mobile from a withheld number. I panicked, thinking who would be ringing me at this time, as you do, and my first thoughts were, "I hope my little nephew is OK" because when you get a call at that time, you fear the worst don't you.

 

On the end of the line is some stupid girl, I recognise the voice as that girl who has been prank calling me the past two weeks...again she's saying stupid things to me, only this time she starts becoming personal about me and even insulting my dad...I'm a professional singer and she was saying I couldn't sing, your dad can't sing too (he's been a pro singer for 35 years) and I was just saying...OK OK, haven't you got anything better to do???

 

Then, suddenly, I hear my ex-girlfriend's voice in the background and I hear her laughing....I say...OK, well I've just heard XXXX (ex-gf) in the background...so why are you calling me? And why did she call me three times earlier? This girl replies, "Yes...its XXXX's best friend here". I know the girl. She's horrible. The worst girl you could ever meet, just a horrible person, never ever ever liked her. They're at this music festival. She says, "Yeah we were bored earlier and wanted someone to laugh at but you didn't answer the phone, but we got bored again now so decided to call you again to laugh at you". I said, "That's lovely...now I really don't have time for this, unlike you I have a life and am out with a couple of girls." Then I hear my ex-girlfriend in the background say, "Oh, who's that - Ki-Ora and Micky Mouse?" and they start laughing. A month or so previously, I'd seen my ex-girlfriend in a bar and exchanged pleasantries and said I'd dated a girl called Kara and a girl called Mikki and so she was mocking their names, saying Ki-Ora (which is a drink) and Micky Mouse. I said, "That's really mature, why don't you grow up? You really are stupid little girls aren't you?"

 

My ex-girlfriend's friend then says, "By the way, XXXX says she doesn't have to fake orgasms with her new boyfriend if that means anything to you"...I just said "Oh right...am I supposed to be bothered by that? This is so childish, I'd be embarrassed if I was you."

 

Her friend then says, "So are you still in love with XXXXX??" in a sarcastic tone and I say, "Errr....yeah...I never leave her alone and am so in love with her...that's why YOU are ringing ME at 4am, from a music festival you've paid £100 to go to" and I laughed, they went a bit silent then as though they didn't know what to say.

 

I was also treated to such comments as, "XXXXX new boyfriend is a kickboxer and he's SO going to kick you in when he sees you". I said, "OK....good luck to him".

 

I just feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry at this situation....tonight is the last night of the music festival, I have a feeling they're going to do it again tonight, I don't know whether to not answer it, to answer it and tell them they are really becoming irritating now and to leave me alone....what do you guys think?

 

I never thought my ex would treat me this way. There's nothing she can say to get out of this...she was there, some of the calls came from her mobile, and these prank calls I've been getting from her friend - her friend could only have got my number from my ex. What a lovely girl. After 2 years together! She even insulted my dad.

 

I'm so angry and I have to say pretty hurt too, I have no idea who this person is anymore. What's weird is, she broke up with me and has a new bf, so why is she even bothering to ring me, albeit to get kicks out of mocking me. Does anyone understand this?!

 

By the way, she's 18, I am 25.[/QUOTE]

 

Why am I not surprised? From reading the whole post, I could tell her friends were just immature and probably still in high school.

 

Sadly unless you can change your number, you will probably have to endure these annoying little twits. Have you thought about going to the police and filing a harassment charge against the ex? I wonder if that would make her come to her stupid little senses?

[HeartGoesOn]

I read where you said that she broke up with you, and has a new boyfriend. Why are you still talking to her?

 

This game will continue as long as you allow it to, you're putting yourself down to her immature level by answering these calls.

 

I would think that if this is bothering you, you would change your number, unless you enjoy this silly drama.

[JA42M]

She's obviously really immature...I would say either hang up when you hear that it's them (it won't be amusing for them anymore, and it will show that you don't care enough to listen and participate in their drama) or if that doesn't work, file a telephone harassment claim.

 

It's also obvious that she's incredibly insecure- only insecurity leads people to behave like this.

 

Just let her waste her time calling and trying to make her life more interesting and don't partake in any of it. No reason why you have to waste your time listening to her and her pathetic friend.

 

Too bad when people behave like that after 2 years of dating. Guess it's hard to ever really know someone, huh?

 

Best of luck!

[notsoanonymous]

I would flat out change my phone number. Period. And don't give me any of that "if I change it then so and so might not be able to contact me later" business.

 

You and this girl are LONG over with and it's time for you to stand up for yourself by changing that number STAT!

[Steve 7745]

I say give them a scare instead. Call the police, tell them who is responsible. The police don't have to do much. They'll give the girl a call and tell her not to do it anymore. It doesn't go on the permanent record or anything, but it should scare them straight.

 

You won't have to change your number and they'll leave you alone.

[SadHatter]

Thanks for the replies everyone, I really appreciate it.

 

To answer a couple of questions - I wouldn't say that we talk to be honest, like I said, she text me to say that her grandad had suffered a heart attack. I guess she wanted to tell me as me and her grandad got on so well, he really liked me, and even used to say how intelligent and good looking our children would be hehe. He was a lovely man and even told my parents when he met them that he had to congratulate them on their son, so I did feel I should send him my best wishes when she told me of his illness.

 

Secondly, she is extremely insecure - by her own admission. One of the things I used to get really, really frustrated with (it sounds harsh when I say it like this, but I don't mean it to be!) was that during our two-year relationship, she'd always call me up at least 3/4 times a week in tears saying that she didn't like herself, was unhappy, thought she was fat (she wasn't) etc. I'd always be there for her and listen, but sometimes it did get me down and I'd think, "change the record, there are so many people worse off than you". But I'd never say that.

 

The problem with her is she's totally and utterly spoilt by her parents, especially her mum, who buys her whatever she wants, whenever she wants, even these festival tickets, I know for a fact her mum will have paid for. She pays for her to go to New York every year, Paris (we live in England) and I do think that's had an effect on her.

 

And she has become SUCH a vindictive, nasty person since we split up, her whole personality has changed so much, I've never seen a person go from being so thoughtful and considerate to so selfish and spiteful and just downright nasty. I think the fact she hangs around with this horrible girl all of the time also has something to do with that.

 

It makes me wonder whether she was always like this secretly? It also means I'll find it very hard to trust someone again...I had trust issues anyway because my only other serious long-term relationship, of 3 years, my girlfriend was seeing her boss from work behind my back for a while without me knowing, before leaving me for him when I did find out. And my ex-girlfriend knew all of that and how hurt I was and she goes and treats me like this??? How can some people be so nasty?

 

She didn't want to be with me anymore, she's dating someone else, fair enough, that's her choice, but why does she do this? Just leave me alone, don't mock me with your friends, its HORRIBLE - I was ALWAYS there for this girl.

 

Part of me also wonders whether it's actually annoying her that I've moved on and am not clinging to her and begging her back - what do you think? She does crave attention like no person I've ever met.

[Steve 7745]

People are rarely like this. But we all have to get our feet wet in dating and sometimes, someone goes into the deep end instead of the shallow and easy part.

 

I used to be totally head over heels for a girl named Em, who seemed a lot like this. She snubbed me for my roommate. But then broke up with him after two months of it. He didn't whine or really care. He accepted it and still talked to her once in a while. And guess what? After she dumped him, he wanted to talk to her to get through a moment of depression (he's bipolar).

 

She tried talking him into committing suicide.

 

Some people are insane, SadHatter. Some people are mad, angry at the world and hate everyone who loves them, and love anyone who hates them. A black hole of the selfish desires that are never satiated.

[JA42M]

 

Part of me also wonders whether it's actually annoying her that I've moved on and am not clinging to her and begging her back - what do you think? She does crave attention like no person I've ever met.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. It always hurts someone more when the person moves on and simply doesn't care...I always thought it was worse than the person trying to fight with me even, because at least that would show he cared!

 

Because she's so insecure, she's probably really easily influenced by her terrible friend. Insecure people often adapt to their surroundings.

 

Really, you should just feel bad for her. Can you imagine being so unhappy with your own life that you need to prank call an ex in hopes of making your life more exciting or making yourself feel better? It's pretty pathetic.

 

Try not to let it bother you too much!

[SadHatter]

Hey everyone,

 

Thanks so much for all of your replies, it means a lot and I appreciate the time taken by everyone to read and also respond to my post.

 

Her and her 'friend' didn't call on the final night of the music festival, which surprised me, but of course is also a good thing.

 

However, about an hour ago my ex-girlfriend came online on MSN, and we haven't spoken on there for months, and the conversation went something like the following...

 

Me > I did NOT appreciate your stunt the other day

Her > I didn't pull any stunts

Me > Because you haven't given your friend my number? (sarcastic)

Her > I only jumped in when you got personal - when you crossed the line

Me > I got personal after your friend told me you, "didn't have to fake orgasms with your new boyfriend" and insulted my dad

Her > I didn't deny i was there

Me > You rang me three times earlier in the night, about 6pm from YOUR number

Her > Yes, because another of my friends likes you and wanted to talk to you, I don't know what about, and she had no battery, so I said she could use my phone

Me > Yeah, yeah

Me > Your friend has rung me about three times in the past two weeks, and been texting me, saying stupid things, playing prank calls. You can tell her from me if she does it again I will contact the police...that's not a threat, that's a promise.

Her > Like we care! (sarcastic)

Her > I'm going to the gym to work on the worst body you've ever seen.. that's what you incinuated in our convo

Me > I think you'll find you and your stupid friend called me at 4am, insulting me, my family, being very personal and at that point I repsonded by saying that I'd moved on, didn't care about you, have a new job and have been with far nicer girls than you since we split up anyway! You can interprete that as you wish. YOU caused this to happen - YOU, not me. Don't flip this around to make yourself the victim here!

Her > Your moral high ground is mountainous

Me > My moral high?! Because I dont want some stupid girl like calling me at 11pm at night when I'm asleep saying stupid things down the phone? I'm sorry...that's my fault is it?

Her > That has nothing to do with me

Me > Course it doesn't. You don't apologise to me though do you or tell her to stop it.

Her > No, because I couldn't care less!

Me > Oh yes, your 'friend'. The same lovely girl who made you cry the last time I went out with you six months ago.

Her > I cried cos I value her opinion.. when you abuse me I barely wince

Me > OK, well, for the record, don't contact me again...and for the record my family, like me, think you're a complete moron now too.

Her > Oh no, I am so bothered (sarcastic). Bye slouchy face (no idea what that means but its obviously some insult, doesn't offend me as it makes no sense!)

 

End of convo...there you go....what a horrible girl!!!!

[HeartGoesOn]

You're putting yourself at her immature level by responding.

 

Why not change your phone number, avoid her completely, and walk away with your head held high?

[SadHatter]

Well, after a few weeks of nothing...last night I get ANOTHER phone call from the ex-girlfriend's mate. The called is a withheld number, I answer the phone and get, "Are you a paedophile?"...I recognise the person as the girl who was pranking me before, so I say, "Oh go away" and hang up the phone. A paedophile??? No idea why she is calling me that, but I am sooooo angry, it's not nice to be called that is it?!?!?! Probably nothing personal against me, just another of their stupid little sayings, but I'm not tolerating it.

 

I immediately text the ex-girlfriend, who I haven't spoken to since the last time I posted in this thread, and said, "Tell your stupid mates NOT to call me again"...straight away I get a phone call from the ex-girlfriend, "What are you talking about? I don't know what you mean....I'm in a restaurant. My mates are with me, but they're outside..." I say, "And you're telling me you knew nothing about them calling me???". She says, "No..." and I say, "Well you better make sure it doesn't happen again" and she says, "OK" and I put the phone down. Didn't happen again that night.

 

Can't believe my ex has turned out this way. I don't think I believe her to be honest, I think she is putting her mate(s) up to this, but if she isn't, she's still an idiot for allowing her friends to do it?????? If one of my friends did that to her I'd say, "What are you doing???? I went out with the girl for 2.5 years", have a right moan at my friends and call her up an apologise. She just lets them do it! That's if she isn't behind it all anyway.

 

The girl was never ever ever like this before, of course if she was, I wouldn't have dated her for so long. She's got a new boyfriend now too, been together over 2 months, so why on earth is she doing this? Does anyone understand this and why she'd act like it? Even my family are shocked, we even all spent Christmas just gone at her family's house.

 

I'm so angry, but I'd also be lying if I didn't say it doesn't hurt me that she is acting this way.

 

It's so pathetic, they're on a night out and prank call me????

[jenny_mcs]

Look, I sympathize with this extremely annoying situation, but you are old enough to know what to do to make this stop.

 

When you pick up and they start with their prank call bs, do not say a word and hang up. Do NOT have a single bit more of contact with your ex. Stop IM'ing her or texting her to say "Tell your friend to stop calling me!!" This is exactly what they want you to do-pay them attention.

 

When you withdraw your attention, and have no reaction except to hang up, this will stop.

[shygirl1212]

Sad,

 

So sorry that you have to deal with such ugly behaviour. Can I just say that it's a good thing you are no longer with this person! I don't care how young she is, although of course she is still very immature, I would have never done such a thing at 18 years old. It's just stupid and wrong, and she knows it.

 

Change your # if you can asap.

 

If changing your number is not an option you might want to explore some other options. I'm not sure about the laws where you live, but you might want to check with your local law enforcement to see if there is anything to do in order to unblock the withheld number. In some countries, there is a number that you can dial on your phone, immediately after receiving the prank call. This will then unblock the withheld number and forward it to the police.

 

See if this could be an option for you, or better yet, tell the local law enforcement that you know who has been prank calling you, and show them your telephone records to prove the time and frequency of the phone calls.

 

I hope that you find a resolution to this nuisance soon.