Elder Abuse

[mintblossom]

I'm pretty freaked out by the situation in my dad's family. I had to talk about it somewhere because it's stressing me out so much I have heartburn.

 

I suspect my dad's mom is living in an abusive situation. She lives with my dad's brother. She used to send money to my family and used to be a lot stronger and able to walk but in the past few years she has gotten a lot weaker. As she's gotten weaker, my dad's brother has taken control. My dad's brother and his family never talk to her (no conversation), never show any care for her, never take her out, and we've even heard him yelling at her on the phone. Basically, my dad's brother has taken control of his parent's finances. He emptied his mother's bank account and put all the money in his own account. He takes all the rental money from his parents.

 

But that's not even the worse of it. They are overseas and he blocked our phonecalls so that my dad can't call his mom. For awhile he kept sending threatening letters to my dad accusing him of all sorts of things, and secretly recorded all the phone conversations my dad had with his mom (until the phone was blocked completely.)

 

My dad flew there because he's getting worried about the situation. The first day he was able to wheelchair his mother outside and the people in the neighborhood said it was a long time since they've seen her. We suspect that she hasn't been out of the house since the last time my dad flew back. Today, when my dad when to visit his mother, two of my "uncles" and my "cousin" ganged up and hit my dad and there was a big fight. When my dad wanted to take his mother outside, they told her if she went outside with him, she would never be allowed back. They said that a third person needed to go along in case my dad abandoned his mother in the middle of the walk. (Which is pure crap.) and then they said that she can't go outside because she might infect her leg. (Another lie).

 

My dad's brother (who emptied all the bank accounts) has been going around telling everyone that my dad only flew back for money which is not true. While our family does need the money, my dad truly cares about his parents and is the only one that genuinely cares about his mom. He was the one that bought her a wheelchair and wheels her to the park and stuff.

 

It's sick because my dad's brother accuses my dad of everything that he does himself. I think that my dad's brother is psychologically, emotionally, verbally, and financially abusing his own mother and trying to destroy my dad as well. (I don't know about physical but I would not put it past him). He is so sick and the whole situation makes me sick. For my dad's brother, I think it is all about money and inheritance. Since my dad is the eldest son, there would probably be a 50-50 split but my dad's brother wants everything. The sick thing is he is not above using his own mother as a pawn in his sick games. He is isolating his mother and not letting her go outside or have human interactions.

 

I feel really sorry for my dad because he doesn't want things to be like this but he doesn't have a choice. I think it hurts him deeply that his brother is doing all this crap and my dad is on the verge of collapse. My dad is a really good guy and does not deserve this. We don't know what to do.

 

Also, I don't think my dad understands the abuse, power, control, and manipulation games as well as I do. I apply my experience from having been in an abusive relationship and it's easy for me to understand what's going on. Abusive people don't need a reason for all the crazy crap they pull. I also checked up signs of elder abuse and it fits with what my dad's brother is doing.

 

If you can, please pray for my dad. I pray that god will protect him and keep him safe from this evil.

[Seraphim]

That is an AWFUL situation . I am sorry. I am praying for all of you. Are there any state angencies that can be contacted about this matter?

[amipushy]

I saw a very similar situation on the Dr Dhil show about Maureen McCormick's (Marcia Brady- the Brady bunch) real life and I found it to be alarming to say the least. You might want to show your father to make him aware what might be going on underneath his very nose.... link removed