Blue Eyes 44 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 I am writing because I am in need of some relationship advice in my own relationship. First of all, here is a little background about myself and my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years and 9 months. We do not live together and never have. I am 25 and my boyfriend is 27. I live on my own in an apartment and have for the past 6 months or so. Before that I was living with my parents while finishing up school. My boyfriend is currently living at home with his parents and has the whole time we have been dating. He did live on his own and with roomates for about 4 or 5 years after high school. I am finished school now and am starting out in my career. My boyfriend will be returning to school part time in September while working part time at the same job he is now working full time at. thereforee, he will probably not be finished his degree for quite a few years - probably 4 or so since he will be doing it part-time. We just got back from a one month vacation to Europe together where we spent 24/7 together and got along really well. We both feel like it brought us closer together. Lately I have been feeling like I want more out of our relationship, though. I feel like I have achieved many of my education/career goals and am living on my own now, and am ready to achieve my other life goals - my relationship goals. I feel like I am ready for a commitment from my boyfriend and am ready to start looking at building a life together. We have talked about this many times, always when I bring it up. He never brings anything like this up on his own. When we do talk about it my boyfriend always says things like, "I want you, I don't want to lose you, I love you so much, I want to share everything in life with you." However, when we talk about when this might happen he still says probably in about 2 years. I do not understand how he can say that he loves me and is sure about us but then doesn't want anything more for us for 2 years. He has also said that he is scared of living together/being married because it might not work out. He also has plans to buy a condo next summer and wants to live in it alone for a bit first (his words). I am starting to get really annoyed and am starting to second guess whether he is the one for me. As a woman I guess I have always had specific ideas in my mind about what it will be like when I meet the guy I will spend the rest of my life with. I always thought that once we knew we would never want to be apart and would do everything possible to be together. I always thought the guy would be so excited and things would naturally progress to greater commitment, and our wedding day would be the happiest day of our lives. I never thought I would have to have these frustrating discussions about where our relationship is going and when it will happen. This is making me believe that my boyfriend is not the right guy for me. I want him to be, as I feel he would make a great husband and a great father but I can't help but think that there are many guys out there who would be so happy and excited to be with me and take things to the next level....why won't my boyfriend? It is that much harder when nearly all of my friends either are married or are living with their boyfriends. And they are starting to ask when we will be getting married. I am very unsure of what to do. I am considering taking a step back from the relationship to see how that would feel. We currently spend about 3-4 nights a week together and I am thinking that it might be good to bring it back to 1-2 nights and see how that goes. I am very sad though because this feels like a step backwards while I feel things should be moving forward at this time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading. Link to comment
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