Up and down emotions

[Marton04]

Yesterday I was feeling so positive, was reading all these "breakup manuals" saying how I should continue doing NC (been 3 weeks now), how I should start enjoying life and I really really thought I was able to do all that - I wasn't going to mope around anymore, I was going to start being happy and feeling good. I honestly thought a light bulb went off in my head and that this was the start of a new me.

 

I was fearful of this weekend because the last few weekends for me had been miserable and I was determined that I was going to have a good one, if not at least ok one. But now it's Sunday and I really miss him and I keep checking my mobile constantly (He hasn't contacted me in 3+ weeks so why am I checking it now?). I'm feeling really sad and have gotten all teary again. I've been trying to push all thoughts of him to the back of my mind and I have tried not to think of the past but it came back and I allowed it to affect me. This thursday will be 1 month since he broke up with me and thinking of that is so painful. I know I shouldn't question things but how can people discard other people so easily, especially ones who they supposedly cared for and loved?

 

Sorry, just need to get it out.. my heart feels heavy right now. I just want this rollercoaster ride of emotions to stop and stabilize because it hurts too much.

[molly2174]

Hiya

 

Just to say I can really relate to your post. Its been 3 weeks since my fiance stopped all contact with me. My emotions are up and down too. I went out yesterday with my friends and had a nice but came home and was crying and I feel sad again today. I just think go with the flow and accept that there are times when you will feel really bad and that you need to ride with it. I just keep focussing on the fact that things can only get better take care x

[Clabs]

Hi Marton

 

Sorry you are having a down day. It sucks because it is very difficult to control the rollercoaster in these early weeks. All you can do is suck up these bad days and get through them, knowing that there will be brighter days ahead. Yesterday was positive for you and was a good day that that tells you that you are walking in the right direction.

 

Molly is right - things can only get better! Take care hun and keep strong.

 

Mark

[Marton04]

Thanks for your kind words Mark & Molly - I just have such a stronge urge to break NC and txt him right now to tell him i miss him - tell me to not do it!!

[Clabs]

Hun - DON'T DO IT! I know how strong those urges can be but I can tell you that if you do send something, your relief will be very short lived indeed. You will feel weak and feeble straight away and on top of this, you almost certainly won't get the response you want.

 

You already feel crappy so why do anything to make yourself feel worse?!

 

Come on darling - turn that phone off.

 

Mark

[Marton04]

As much as I want to Mark - i'm not going to. Thank you so much for your encouragement. This is the worst feeling to have - to want to do something so badly but knowing you can't and knowing it'll fall on deaf ears. Aaarrrghhh... i just want him out of my head and heart already!

[Clabs]

I know hun, I know - it is all very frustrating. Try and keep yourself busy - listen to some upbeat music - maybe go out for a long walk. Clear out an old cupboard, go for a long drive if you have a car - call your friends and organise something fun.

 

I know that it is tough at first - but you have to force yourself to do these things. It won't feel it at first but you have to kind of fake it till you make it if that makes any sense.

 

Mark

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I feel your pain I'm in it myself ........been almost 3 long months of living hell for me.

 

Try this listen to it all the way through ......get a cup of coffee and kick back

 

link removed We miss them cause we loved them so. I miss mine every minute of the day.

[so-so-sad]

hi marton

 

I am now 5 weeks broken up.

I feel the same as you. some days are just better than others. dont know why but Sundays are always dreadful. I have had some days when i trully feel i am getting over him and moving on. Today i cant get out of bed and am flooded with painful memories and cant understand why he gave up on us.

 

but i WONT break NC and you shouldnt either. I know I wont get the response I want. I wont get any of my answers questioned. I know whatever happens it will be a major set back. (I am learning this the hard way I'm afraid!!)

 

so keep strong. today will pass. you will feel better tomorrow.

 

and please dont contact him. it doesnt help.

[MissBoo]

I can totally empathise with you. I found out two weeks ago that my ex had been cheating on me and had thus 'silently' dumped me....he couldn't even tell me it was over! Despite his appalling behaviour, I can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes I have good days where I feel positive that I don't want him back, he is toxic loser and I can do so much better. Then there are other days when if he knocked on the door I'd give him a huge hug! I have come so close to contacting him almost every day for the past two weeks, wanting an explanation, wanting detail, wanting any excuse to see him/talk to him, in the hope I can persuade him to come back. But I know that NC is the only way forward for the sake of my dignity.

 

My only advice is to keep keeping busy and kill time. Exercise, cook, clean, catch up with friends and family who you haven't seen for ages and don't feel you have to explain or talk about what you are going through. And I completely agree with Clabs....fake it till you make it. Act like a confident, sexy, happy person and people begin to treat you as if you are one again and you will eventually start feeling that way about yourself.

 

Most of all, be kind to yourself. You will have good days and bad days but you will get through it and come out the other side....stronger.

[snowstorm]

I can totally relate to your post too. It could have been written by me. Weekends are gonna be tough for the next wee while, and I've found myself checking emails/phone constantly today too. I've tried to keep myself busy and catch up with friends, but he's there. Constantly in the back of my mind. Even dreamt about him last night. My head physically hurts today from all the thinking etc. But the worst thing you can do is get back in touch. You're going to have the good days and the bad days, BUT things will get better.

 

This forum is great for advice/support stuff. So just keep posting here when you're feeling like this. There's a ton of people that have been through this that can help. x

[Marton04]

Thank you all for everything - i feel like I'll be faking being happy for a long time! And I do try and find things to do - it's just that most times friends can't be there for you so you have to find things to do to entertain yourself and sometimes that's just plain hard to do.

 

This forum has been very therapeutic for me and it has also given me an outlet to vent or cry on everyone's shoulders because most of you are going through the same thing and know the pain i'm going through.

 

I'm just thankful for everyone's advice - it's invaluable and despite not knowing anyone, it feels like you guys are my friends.