Bit of an odd one...Help really needed

[mr_B]

Hi all

 

Firstly a bit of background on me so you understand whats going on.

Im 19, male if you didnt know already.

 

back in the end of may i met this girl (friend of one of my good friends) and we seemed to get on straight away, this lead to getting to know each other, and becoming very good mates.. From about the second week of me knowing her i knew i liked her more than a friend, but i didnt say anything as we were getting on well.

 

She then went on holiday and i found out that i really missed her, she came back and from then we started seeing each other every day, normally going down to the pub with mates in the evenings. She then went on holiday again, and i missed her more.

 

after about a month of seeing her reguarly various friends of mine told her i was interested, so after a while she asked me and i said that indeed i was. She said that she wasnt, but on her second holiday she thought she had feelings for me, but not anymore.

We both decided that we would stay as friends and that i should try and get over her.

Well of course this hasnt gone well, the more i saw her, the more i realised we had in common (liked the same music, same tv programs, same sense of humor etcetc).

 

Now 2 of our friends keep talking to her, telling her she is being cruel to me, which i can see their point. They say we are like a couple, as whenever they see us, were always together. They said that she had to stop talking to me.(bare in mind i she did it would be very awkward as id see her often anyway due to having the same friends)

 

She told me that i meant too much to her to do that, and that she was happy with how it was at the moment. I of course agreed as id spend as much time with her as she'd let me.

 

I often travel away for work, and it has been since going away and coming back and seeing her again, that made me realise im completely head over heels. There has never been somone that i feel so comfortable with, and noone that i have had the same feelings for.

 

Im trying to come to terms with the fact that she doesnt like me, but no matter what i do i think about her all the time. My friends have even tried finding other women for me.

 

 

I think what im getting at is what shall i do? im completely stuck here.

 

Thanks for reading all of this and hope you all understand it!

[DN]

Welcome to eNotAlone.

 

I think you have to walk away from her. She will probably say that she is hurt and wants you as a friend and doesn't want to lose you from her life but you have to look after yourself here.

 

If you stay as her friend you will not get over her and be able to find someone who does want you. She will stay your friend as long as she is single but once she finds a boyfriend she will move on - leaving you stranded and heartbroken even more than you are now.

[mr_B]

you are probably right here, and i have thought about it, but i cant bring myself to say it to her!...i keep thinking the hurt im going through now would be 100 times worse if i never talked to her again??

[lapseinjudgement]

she has kinda made it clear that she isnt really interested in anything sadly... But if it hurts now imagine the pain if she starts dating another guy and suddenly doesnt want to spend half the time with you if any at all.

[mr_B]

anyone else have any other ideas for me?

[bicksford]

I know I'm going to tell you the same as everybody else, and I know you won't listen because you like me need to figure it out for yourself, but..... It's only going to lead to more and more pain and anguish. I went through the exact same thing. Confusion for nearly two years. It's rough. I thought if I kept trying somehow I could change it, but I couldn't, and when I realized that, I started dating my current girlfriend. Save yourself the pain. I know you think she is worth it now, because you have so much in common and think it's so rare to find somebody like that who is the opposite sex, but I've learned that having things in common with somebody is less important than being able to respect eachother and care for eachother. Good luck with it, I hope you don't go through what I did. It's your choice.