Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 I had a friend point out to me that I have always had men who treated me badly in relationships. It makes me sad to think this, but I can't do anything about my past. I've been in a lot of abusive relationships. I broke off all of them...but... it makes me wonder if there is something about me that attracts these kind of men...and not the kind I want? I have never felt seriously about settling down with a man, although I've had plenty feel (or claim to)that way about me. Its as if they were oblivious to my real feelings about ever getting serious with them. The last two guys I dated were the only nice, normal guys in my life but the relationships were superficial and they didn't end perfectly although they ended nicer than most of my relationships before them. is there something about me that says, 'be disrespectful to her'? Or is it that there are just a lot of bad men in this world, and you have to weed through them? THe last guy I fell for wanted to use me in a fwb situation...he got to know my heart, my past, my wants and thats all he wanted from me...I wasn't aware of it until I separated myself from him for three months. is it me? Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 I don't think it is you necessarily. Try meeting these fellas in a more "kinder" enviornment, that is my suggestion. They are not always perfect. But at least you would be getting closer to the right type of fella. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Author Share Posted August 23, 2008 You mean church or something like that? THere are no men in church. But, you might be right. The two nice ones I met through friends or around my apt. complex. THe bad ones: in classes, on the street, through friends but with a warning notice... Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Exactly. At my church they have a singles group where a friend of mine met her future husband. But I also go to one of those "Mega" churches in South Texas. So there are many more to pick from I suppose. But yes. Your friends know what you are looking for so it might be best to meet someone through them, if just by chance and not necessarily "looking"...ya know? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Author Share Posted August 23, 2008 I'd love to go to one of those churches, but its hard for me to find one in my area. I might have to leave my church...but even still, the one that does have a singles group just meets for an hour on Sunday morning and thats it...I don't see how anything can develop from that. Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 That is the same at my church...an hour. However they have fellowships often. Like a night out bowling or a picnic. Things like that. It takes them out of the "religious" realm and lets them be themselves. I understand it is hard at your church and that stinks. I do hope that maybe through a friend or through the grace of God that Mr. Right will come along. Just keep faith and it will happen. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Author Share Posted August 23, 2008 I'm really hoping. I mean, I've turned down lots of men because of my faith. I'd really like God to bring a nice, kind, good Christian man into my life for once. I guess I have to be patient. But yeah, the mega church near me...I volunteer at nights occasionally with children, but there aren't any men there. And yeah, they don't do outside activities. Trust me, I've tried this avenue. I went to one church that does have outside activities but i didn't feeel too much of a connection with the attendees...they're recent college grads which I've held a job for quite some time now. Although...I do have one possibliity. I met these people at a party and they go to a different church that does a sport activity tonight that one of them invited me to...there might be people there. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Author Share Posted August 23, 2008 I've never met a church guy and dated him, but I'd like to. Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Exactly! I would go for. That invite just may be the "still small voice" telling you to go. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 23, 2008 Author Share Posted August 23, 2008 Its more than a still, small voice, lol. I've been wanting to be connected in a group for a long time. Thanks, I'm definetly gonna tell them yes though! Link to comment
Bren402 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 I had a friend point out to me that I have always had men who treated me badly in relationships. It makes me sad to think this, but I can't do anything about my past. I've been in a lot of abusive relationships. I broke off all of them...but... it makes me wonder if there is something about me that attracts these kind of men...and not the kind I want? I have heard/read that some people continuously attract the wrong kind of people. This article may be of some interest...... link removed It could also be that you don't have your standards set high enough. Before you start a new relationship, know that YOU come first. If you're not happy with the way things are going, don't keep it going. Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 link removed Get a cup of coffee or a drink and listen to this all the way through .....it will really help you. We miss them .....I understand .....I miss mine she was the world to me Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 some people just can't see the signs. i know plenty of girls like this that end up with scum. Link to comment
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