Ftheworld Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 First let me say, I'm 26 and live by myself. I've been alone the majority of my life. I had little to no friends in highschool. I was bullied and I actually dropped out because I hated it. I eventually went back and now 10 years later I'm doing pretty good financially able to support myself. I've had 1 GF in my life and we were together for almost 4 years. Things ended horribly with her leaving me for someone else. I've been completely single and alone the last 3 years. There was a point last year where I was so desperate for a GF. I tried so hard to pursue girls and date and make friends. I went to the gym, dressed with expensive clothes, I registered for classes at school and just tried my best to meet someone and was always rejected or led on without anything happening. It really hurt and had to take anti-depresents to get better emotionally. Fast forward to this year - I'm still very alone. I don't go to the gym, I haven't gone to school and don't care too much how I dress. I've made no effort to date. I don't think I can win a girl over. I guess I'm waiting for a girl to pursue me, which I know will never happen. But if I feel a girl is checking me out, I get annoyed and very nervous and scared. Don't me wrong, I do have sexual desires but in terms of having a relationship, its become a complete turnoff for me. I HATE the thought of trying to chase a women. I hate the mind games and the emotional roller coaster that comes along with it. I hate wondering if she likes me or why she hasn't returned my call or email or why she's ignoring me after flirting me the other day. I hate to admit this but I see women as evil and dishonest. It's just become impossible in my mind that a woman could want a friendship or a relationship or even a fling with me after all the bs I've gone through in my life. Same with people in general. I haven't met anyone that has the same interests in me at my new job. Some guys at work invite me to go out after work to a bar and I always decline. Truth is, I'm tired after a long day and just want to go home. I also don't like the bar scene. And some other people in the office see me as this quiet weird guy at the office. But anyway, I don't think I'm depressed. I don't have trouble sleeping like I did last year. I'm able to eat and function well at work. I haven't cried or lost my temper in months. But I do feel something is wrong with the way I am. I don't know if my lifestyle right now is right or wrong. It can't be healthy, right? What should I do? Link to comment
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