WHY AM I SO AFRIAD HE WILL HATE ME!?

[mindyo]

recently i was in a "relationship" for lack of a better term with a guy for over a year and a half. for the first 5 months or so when we met he was single. immediately sparks began to fly and we became extremely close. then one day he tells me he is going back to his girlfriend. and we end our relationship and stop seeing eachother..

 

less than a month later he is asking me to see him again. i do becasue my feelings for him are strong and in some way i'm hoping he will leave her come back to me.. even though that is extremely selfish i still do it..

 

a year goes by and he is still seeing me but still has a girlfriend. Very recently i asked him to decide between me or his girlfriend because i could no longer go on in a situation like this. it was too hurtful. so he told me that he loves his girlfriend and that he hates what he is doing to her by cheating on her. he also tells me how much he cares about me and how much he loves me.. next thing i know he is knocking at my window and we spend the day together.

 

at the end of the day we end it again. this time both agreeing that we need to stay away from eachother for good this time. but during our talk some mean things were said back and forth... and i feel so bad that i have hurt him.. and i also ffeel bad at how i was acting by not being caring enough and by some of the things i said. i feel like i didn't tell him enough how much i cared about him... and now he is going to hate me and easily forget me and everythign we've been through.

 

Our "relationship" was not the best but i can't help but feel bad for him. and feel a overwhelming paranoia that he is going to forever hate me for telling him i will no longer contact him ever again and that it's over for good this time. i want to move on. but i don't want him to hate me. why am i feeling like this?!!?

 

why do i care if he hates me if he hasn't treated me good for over a year and a half. i should hate him. not vice versa and i shouldnt' be worrying about it .. right?!!? help me. it's scaring me casue i feel now i am going to contact him and try and make him understand that i'm not being mean and beg him to not hate me... but i don't want to do that. how do i get over this!?! please help.

[neallo82288]

I have told my best friend these very same words (a couple of years ago).

 

Leave him alone he is nothing but trouble. He will kill your self esteem. He will draw the very heart beat from you. You will end up hurt, NO you will be destroyed. He is not after you for anything but sex (sorry so mean but it is as it is). He will never leave her for you and if he did how could you trust him, because he left you for her and what would keep him from doing it again. Someone in here said the three keys to a relationship are communication, trust, and respect. Well, he dropped a bomb on you the last time so he doesn't communicate very well. Also, YOu can't possibly trust him ever again. Also, he showed absolutely no respect to you by leaving you and going back to her. Those are just the facts. Tell him to leave you alone and forget him.

 

You said that you don't want him to hate you? Well why should you care he's a player and is playing you like a five string band. Someone like this doesn't matter in the skeem of life, because he uses people for his own enjoyment and then throws them away. Why should his feelings for you matter your feelings for him don't matter to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[russia]

stop being a sucker.