So confused and hurt...

[MikeDR08]

Okay, this is going to be a fairly long post. Basically, my girlfriend broke up with me Friday night because she felt like the relationship was at a "dead end."

 

Here's the full story...

 

 

We had been friends for about 2 years prior to dating. Going into senior year in HS (this past year) we were in a few of the same classes and started to get closer. Around February, it became obvious that she liked me (we have mutual best friends so they let me know). We started hanging out together in groups of friends and we were really into each other. I started to realize that I liked her more than I had liked any girl in the past. I'm not the kind of guy to ask someone out because I think they're attractive or I like them a little bit. I'm extremely picky, so it's hard for me to find someone that I can see myself with. However, by March or so, I really starting thinking I was ready to ask her out.

 

In early April, I somehow managed to gather the balls to ask her to prom. Initially I wasn't going to go, dances aren't really my thing, but I knew she wanted to go and I knew I couldn't let her go with someone else ( ).

 

After that I knew I had to start making some moves. It was really hard for me though because I'm just shy with that sort of thing and this was the first girl I was really into. It took me about a week and a half to reach for her hand.

 

I decided that I would ask her out at prom. It seemed like the best place for it. So that's what I did. I asked her out on May 30 during the last dance and I am not kidding when I say I almost * * * * my damn pants. But, of course, she said yes.

 

 

The first month of the relationship was flawless, everything was perfect. We were really happy together and were both so into each other. But she seemed to change a lot after she went to he college orientation for a few days. She came back a different person to be honest. Before she went she would constantly talk about how we would get to see each other when we went to college (we are going to college 3 hours apart), but she seemed like she really wanted it to work. After she came back, when I would bring it up by saying something like, "I'll drive up there every other weekend or so" she would just say something like "that's a lot of gas" or "You should stay and get used to school" I was confused....

 

Eventually, she tells me that orientation changed her mind and she really didn't want a boyfriend in College and that we needed to take a break at the end of summer. Obviously, I was extremely hurt by it, and got really depressed. I felt like I had done something wrong. I am so into her at this point and she seems like she really into me so it's confusing.

 

But here's the good part. (or the bad part)

 

When she went to orientation she met this kid Matt. I noticed when she came back she was acting different and she told me about the not wanting to be together thing. So then our online conversations and texting go to absolute * * * * . She barely talks to me at all even though i know she is at the computer and we used to talk all the time non stop. so eventually i find out she is talking to this kid Matt instead of me. Then her and her friend (also one of my best friends (a girl)) start hanging out with this kid (who lives an hour away in Mass) and obviously, Im pretty upset about it. she drives an hour to hang out with some kid she just met and she doesn't understand why im upset and uncomfortable with it. she claims they are "just friends". so they continue to hang out a few times and she just seems like she doesn't care that it bothers me, she makes no attempt to talk to me more online even though ive talked to her about the situation. THENNN...one day when she was at my house and we were laying together watching TV i was in a pretty depressed mood because our hole planned break up situation before we went to college and while we are laying there she in texting someone back and forth trying to hide the phone from me (not making it obvious shes trying to hide it). i knew it was Matt and i was so * * * * ing pissed but i didnt' say anything but i confronted her about it later and she apologized blah blah blah.......so then just last week she sets up this whole thing with me, her, our friend, our friend's BF and, of course her new best friend, Matt to go bowling. Reluctantly, i agree to go and she assures me that she will pay complete attention to me when we are out together so that i don't get into one of my depressed moods (she has a tendency to completely ignore me when we are out in groups). so first we go to get some food at a place by the beach and she seems fine, shes paying attention to me and everything, but it becomes very obvious to me (not that it wasn't before) that this kid Matt likes her. so then we head to the bowling alley and by the first game she had stopped talking to me completely and she was FLIRTING with this kid right in front of me. Giggling at everything he says, smiling at him when she turns around after bowling. and i was just like wow what the hell, after she promises me she will pay attention to me this is what happens. so i talk to her later that night about it and she gets all pissed at me and says she wasn't flirting and that i make no attempt to "remind" her that she needs to pay attention to me by going over to her. Do i honestly need to remind my girlfriend to pay attention to me?

 

So after we had that fight, which was last week by the way, we seemed ok. We hung out together and we seemed to be getting along like we normally did. Then this past Friday I had a party at my house for a bunch of friends and she basically ignored me the entire night. When she went home I asked if she was mad at me and she said she felt the relationship was at a dead end, and broke up with me (Online....).

 

She was out the next day with Matt and some other friends have a great time and I'm pretty sure she's hanging out alone with Matt as I type this. Needless to say, I'm a mess. My first real relationship and a girl I've known for so long walks all over me. She went from supposedly caring about me a lot to not talking to me in a day. Now she's completely moved on and I can't even leave my house. I'm seeing a psychologist because my depression has gotten pretty bad because of the whole situation. I know there isn't much I can do, but I've never gone through this before and the pain is incredible. I know this post is really long, but it was more or less a way for me to get all my feelings out and vent.

[Xetra Dax]

Yeah i can see how it went. College was the main obstacle, you may or may not have noticed it but she has been thinking about college in this way: Im going to college and meet all kinds of new people: BUT WAIT! what if there's this super handsome guy who walks there ,my chances will be ruined if i tell them i've got a bf, dang i've got to dump my current bf so i can have a wild life at college.

 

Or in other words she's thinking: the grass is much much greener somewhere else, and to tell you the truth many people think in that way, start using drugs,party, alcohol but these are just false doors that lead to devesated lives, and behold your life is devestated. What she's doing is probably just the beginning for a hurtfull adventure for her.

 

 

What you have i've had happened to me also, it drove me to the brink of suicide into thinking that people are only out to hurt you, however. The absolute best thing you can do is to gather ALL YOUR POWER, and CLIMB OUT OF THAT HOLE, and move on as fast as possible, the faster you get your life back on track, and the sooner you get another gf, the better off you are into getting your derailed life back on track again. DONT lock yourself up in some closet or your house whining over all the could have beens and should have beens, hell get out of the house right now and start dating again. Its a struggle at first but you'll be happy you picked up your life again later on.

 

My life lesson advice from first hand experience would be: Ex-s aren't worth putting your life on a halt for.

[kuhl282000]

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