NC...LC...NC...confused

[Dani0613]

Alright, so here's my question re: NC and LC.

 

I've been doing VERY well at maintaining my distance from my ex gf of 2 months. I haven't initiated any contact. I won't lie and say that I never want to be back together, because that truly is not the case. Given our situation, I would hope that there would be another chance for us, when the time is right. Truth be told, I'm not putting my life on hold because we all know that's not fair to me and I deserve to be happy just as much as the next person. As a result of our break up, I've definitely taken steps to improve myself and regain 'who I am' because I feel I lost that when we were together. I vow to never enter into another relationship where my every waking hour is spent with my SO and focused on 'us'. Not healthy.

 

Anyway, I digress...

 

She's offered me her hand in friendship b/c it's all she has to offer right now. IF she was telling me that she was capable of being in a relationship but didnt want it to be with me, I would say, 'see ya, have a nice life'. She's told me that she can't emotionally fulfill a relationship right now b/c she has to focus on herself and really doesn't want to be with anyone...

 

During the course of the past week, she's texted me, she's called (didnt leave messages) and sent me a picture of her sister's new born baby. I didnt respond to any of the texts and didnt return any of her phone calls. I finally responded to email that she sent me of her niece because I was very close to her family and they really have nothing to do with this. I was short and said that the baby was beautiful. I had actually sent my response to her from the computer via a text message. She called my phone this morning to ask if I had been the one to send the text b/c it didnt come from my phone. I actually ended up answering my cell this morning b/c I didnt recognize the number, it was her work. Anyway, we talked briefly and she said that I would see the baby.

 

I just dont know how to handle this situation because I dont want to end up being 'friendzoned' but I also don't want her to perceive me as 'hanging around' for her, if that makes sense. I want her to have to work for my attention. So, should I continue to have her initiate the contact, responding periodically?

 

I know I've probably posted similar questions under separate threads and I apologize for the reiteration. I'm just so confused b/c when we DO talk or have to see each other, it's great and we get along just as we used to...

 

Totally at a loss and wish that I could just shut my emotions off...

[Cognitive_Canine]

I am confused...what do you want?

[Dani0613]

I would like to get back together at some point and don't know if I should go NC or LC. Not that either will ensure a reconciliation, I just don't no what would be a more favourable approach...I know I'm not asking my question right.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I would like to get back together at some point and don't know if I should go NC or LC. Not that either will ensure a reconciliation, I just don't no what would be a more favourable approach...I know I'm not asking my question right.

 

 

I would go NC. You clearly still have feelings for her and need some time to yourself.

 

Tell her the reason you are going NC is so that if the time does come that you can be together again, you want to be whole for her.

 

Then do not dwell on being with her again. Heal and start dating others.

 

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. So don't torture yourself by thinking about it too much.