Atticus90 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Well, I'm at that age where I want to move out but faced with a bunch of delays. I feel like if I leave, I'd be deserting my family? ( dad, mom, brother, etc: ) I'm definitely going to wait until my girlfriend turns 18 so her and my son can live with me as well. I guess what I'm trying to ask is.. What did all you parents out their feel when your son/daughter moved out of the home? Especially those parents who are single. How did you feel when you were the only one living in the house after your kids left? This question is more directed to parents who have children, but if some of you younger ones have some insight on how I should be taking this, then your comments are well appreciated. Thank you! Link to comment
Lionel Hutz Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Just do it you will be glad you did. When I see mom now its that much better. I took her cooking for granted though. You will be sooooooo free and if you live with your g/f its that much more fun. Good luck enjoy the freedom when you get it. Link to comment
just M.E. Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 For me, as a single mom, it is what I raised her to be. Independent and free to be herself, god knows, I didn't want her to be 40 and living in my basement. I wanted her to have her life, which she has done, in a way greater than I could have dreamed. It's bittersweet for parents, but it is also a proud moment. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 For me, as a single mom, it is what I raised her to be. Independent and free to be herself, god knows, I didn't want her to be 40 and living in my basement. I wanted her to have her life, which she has done, in a way greater than I could have dreamed. It's bittersweet for parents, but it is also a proud moment. Thank you, that helps me a lot since my parents are single aswell. I just don't want any hate happening towards me if I leave the house just because. Link to comment
Zampotne Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 My parents and I have such a better relationship now. Of couse my mom was sad because I'm the "baby", but now we never fight and look forward to seeing each other as much as we can... Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Just do it you will be glad you did. When I see mom now its that much better. I took her cooking for granted though. You will be sooooooo free and if you live with your g/f its that much more fun. Good luck enjoy the freedom when you get it. Lol, I can see that. I can't wait to be free, but I also want everyone else happy instead of me being the only happy one leaving. Don't known if that sentence made since but oh well hah Link to comment
Zampotne Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thank you, that helps me a lot since my parents are single aswell. I just don't want any hate happening towards me if I leave the house just because. They'll understand. They did it themselves once- even if it was a long time ago they'll remember what it was like to want to be on your own. Link to comment
unabashed Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I was raised to be independent, so the idea of my children growing up and moving out is something very positive and healthy to me. My older daughter is four hours away, in college. Even though the younger one has disabilities, she will also be living as independently as possible when the time comes. Their father, however, was raised differently. His parents felt that he was deserting them when he left home--just to move one hour to the city to be closer to graduate school! He did it anyway, but it wasn't easy for him. Although he didn't like it then, I see that he is having trouble now with the idea of our kids being on their own. For the younger one, he would love to have her live with him the rest of her life, which is clearly an unhealthy thing for someone who has the ability to do many things on her own. It's just that he was raised with the idea that family is love, and when they leave, it's betrayal. I feel you should make a plan that is safe and workable for yourself and do it. Your parents will get over it. As an adult, your decisions have to be your own. Good luck!! Link to comment
dragon lady Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 My parents were thrilled when I moved out of home (at 21). I guess it's different for everyone. Link to comment
ljoy74 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Well at some point you've got to move out, especially if you have a child of your own already. You've got to learn to navigate and live life without the help of your parents for your sake and your babies to. Of course your parent (I've only got one to) will feel a little weird about it but it's only natural for this to take place. Imagine if your parent still lived with there parents. How weird would that be?! But remember to consider what's not only best for you but best for your child and the mother of your child. Kids are verrry expensive, not to mention time consuming. Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 You're parents will probably miss you, but I doubt that your absense will make them miserable. Lol, I can see that. I can't wait to be free, but I also want everyone else happy instead of me being the only happy one leaving Remember you can't make anybody happy. Link to comment
angel1980 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 i didnt have a choice. when i had jsut turned 17.. my mum gave me the choice of dumping the current guy i was with or moving out (if i moved out i wouldnt ever be able to go home as she was goign to move out and go n liv ewith her boyfriend). i thought it was true love so decided to move out.. i went n found a decent job, got a loan for a deposit on a small flat and then moved. had many struggles over the last 10 years though.. think i moved out way too early and wasn't really prepared for bills n things. Link to comment
angel1980 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 ps- i didn't mean i didnt have a choice at all by the way. i meant i didnt have a choice of staying at hime if i wanted to be with the guy i was with. funnily enough it only lasted about another year after i moved out... it was fun trying to keep up with bills and other payments on my own .NOT Link to comment
Ceremony Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 I moved out at 18 when I went to college and it was hard at first. I'm an only child so my mom took it hard when she found out I wanted to move a few states away. I just explained to my mom that I loved her but that I wanted to experience being on my own and that that is what children should do when they can. My mom is kind of clingy though. Atticus, you sound like a good son and they'll be happy to watch you succeed even if they are sad to see you go at first. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 From a parent's point of view, I would reccomend being honest, and not pile all your stuff outside when they come home. Don't tell them three days before your 18th you are staying, and then move out 3 days after. It's not the worst thing for a parent, but there's no need to make it more painful than necessary. Venting? I guess so. Link to comment
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