soulmeetsbody Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Me and my bf split up in july after a year of being very happy and we are a perfect match - we believe it 100%. We still loved each other and cared a lot - but we kind of mutually broke up.The reason was I needed to find myself again since I deal with a lot of issues, I am still very young and a relationship was making my problems worse and I took it out on him. I was dependent on him, he was such a big support but sometimes he was a security blanket to me. We split up in the past, it was a stupid breakup but it then felt like I couldn't function, eat, sleep without him by my side. This time around, I have been seeing a therapist for my issues, getting closer to my friends and I am happy. I know it'll take a long time to recover completely but I am generally doing very well as a single girl, I just miss him as a person. I want more time relying on myself and gaining independence so I dont want a relationship as intense as the one we had yet. He said he hopes we'll get back together once I'm well. I do want to be with him... We're doing NC now and it seems silly. He broke NC 5 times, saying he loves me so much and im still his ideal woman or just asking how I'm doing, everytime I freaked out at him. We bumped into each other a month after the breakup and from then had an amazing weekend. After, I just didn't know what to do because we still loved each other just as much,having lots of fun like nothing happened, but I still asked for NC again and I still want to work on myself. He said he won't be contacting me again because he knows how angry it makes me, he'll wait for me to make contact. I am doing so well but I wish I could introduce him back into my life, slowly. I don't think we can ever be 'friends' because of our history, but blocking each other out completely seems stupid and it's breaking my heart. I know he still thinks of me and he must know I'm thinking of him as well. It just feels forced you know? It did help me get over the pain of the separation but now I'm enjoying the benefits of the breakup and I wish he saw all the changes in my life, he was my best friend. I know there's a big chance we'll bump into each other again this weekend - we just happen to like the same things and attend the same events! I will go with a friend of mine who likes me. I may 'fancy' him, but wouldn't see myself being with anyone yet. If my ex sees us, he may get jealous and hurt which I don't want. I don't hate the idea of bumping into him again though...We always have so much fun together and my feelings towards him haven't changed one bit. I have nothing to reproach him, and he's always been perfect. But I still need to be independent...but why become strangers? I don't want to be single to get with anyone else, or for 'freedom'. I loved being in a relationship, I just want 'me' back completely first. What do you think I should do? Thank you. Link to comment
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