Has this happened twice to anyone?

[Mayday11]

thankyou so much for your response. I wonder if sleeping with random girls gets old? I wonder if he will miss actually having girlfriend to spend time with...

Yes and yes. Sleeping around seems pretty awesome and 'manly' at first, but most people soon realize how shallow and empty it is. While in your relationship, he was unhappy due to the lack of sexual intimacy, he'll soon realize he's going to be just as unhappy without the intimacy that love, understanding, support and devotion brings.

and also do you think those reasons he used for leaving me are excuses for sexual frustration?

Completely. Women often underestimate the power of surging testosterone. I think most men in sexual active relationships will agree that when the sex starts getting rarer and rarer, irritation grows, small problems become big issues and we begin to question just how attractive we are to our girlfriends. We begin to wonder what we've done wrong, we start to subconsciously do things to make our girlfriend's feel the frustration that we're feeling. We start to get petty and say mean things, we start to hold onto the smallest of things our girlfriend's do and blow them out of proportion. Only to find out that our girlfriends were just having a tired few weeks, then the sex starts up again and we feel like complete idiots.

[looloolola]

Well I just dont know what to do, I want to make him happy but I just cant actually do that with him.. He told me once he wouldnt even date a girl who has done more than makeout with a guy so in one way he should appreciate the way I am. I wonder if he will come back ughh

[Mayday11]

Well I just dont know what to do, I want to make him happy but I just cant actually do that with him.. He told me once he wouldnt even date a girl who has done more than makeout with a guy so in one way he should appreciate the way I am. I wonder if he will come back ughh

 

In my personal opinion, the guy has issues. It's okay for him to sleep around as much as he wants, but he doesn't want a girlfriend who does? Double standards and quite hypocritical. Basically, he wants to use a lot of girls that he obviously doesn't respect for sex and then expect a girl who sticks to her moral convictions to actually sit around waiting for him.

 

And we've all told you what to do: move on. If he runs out of steam and realizes he wants you, he'll come back. If not, you've already moved on, so you'll be a much stronger person to deal with that potential reality.

[Clabs]

Hi looloolola

 

Sorry it has taken me some time to respond to you. You say he shares your beliefs in as much as he will only marry a virgin and that you will remain one until you marry. Unfortunately that is as far as it goes so far as he is concerned. As Mayday points out, that is double standards and very hypocritical of him.

 

Think about this. Supposing he was super persistent and managed to talk you around into sleeping with him. How do you know when the time comes to get married he won't throw you away because you are not "clean" or whatever. Think about that.

 

I think you should walk away from this - as hard as that may seem. Eventually you will find someone who truly does share or at least respect your values. And hun - good for you for holding strong on this.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

Mark

[musashi]

I have encountered a problem somewhat similar, as you know. My ex has broken up with me 5 times in the past year. She has always come back to me after NC (the longest being 4.5 months) saying the same as your exe that I am the best thing that has ever happened to her and she wants to be with me forever, only to break up with me again.

 

She is deeply religious and, while we used to have a healthy sex life, over the past year we have not had any because she wants to "do things right this time" and wait for marriage. However, after this last BU, I wonder if she has some mental problems with commitmet. While she is committed to her religion I do not think that she is capable of being committed to a person. She changes her mind too often and too fast. We have only had one fight in our two year relationship and that was a couple of weeks ago after she broke up with me for the fourth time.

 

I do not have much advice for you only that you maintain NC and move on. It seems to be the only thing that has worked for me. I do not think I could ever be with her again as there would be too much doubt haniging over my head about if she would just wake up one day and break up with me again. It sucks because I truly did love her and thought that she was the one for me. I had never thought about marriage before but could not wait to marry her. It is such a slap in the face to have her BU with me all the time over what I consider silly crap. I have to move on and I would suggest you try to do the same.