MrPresidentUSA Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 So here's another story about a guy who can't seem to get past his break up. There were many mistakes made by both parties and I am going to lay it all out. No punches pulled. I'm sure I already know what most of you will say but here goes anyway. When first came off of active duty in the Marines, I started college in Buffalo N.Y. at E.C.C. At that time met a girl and we dated for 18 months or so. During that time however, I had a pretty big crush on her friend Amanda. I graduated in 2005 and transferred to Cornell University and graduated in 2007. In that time, my girlfriend and I split fairly amicably and still remain friends. After a brief period of not talking, we joined each others facebook page and I found Amanda on my ex's page. We started messaging and within two months time we were very interested in each other. The problem however was the fact that I was no longer in Buffalo but rather 3 1/2 hours away down state. We started talking more and I told her would be up her way in about 2 weeks for my reserve drill (I stayed in the reserves). We met up and like most first times with a love interest, it was sublimely phenomenol. I loved being in her presense and was trying desperately to find awato relocate back to the Buffalo area (my mother and sisters live here as well as her so it was doubly sweet). Now begins the trouble. The next monthly drill was the following month in March and when I came after drill to see her and look for a job, my car broke down so I ended up de facto living with her. I got sick for a few days and she took me to the VA, used the internet at her job to look up good matches for jobs for me and applied to a few for me (she did not have the internet at the apartment). For the first time in my life however, I felt overwhelmed. My debt began to mount, when I finally did get a job, she had to take me due to my car being broken down, and the stress started to mount. Now, before you go thinking I'm a complete scumbag, there were a few red flags that I ignored because I did then and still do love her very much. We took a weekend trip to D.C. to visit one of my oldest friends who I was also inthe Marines with. The trip started great and she paid for most everything because I still did not yet have a job at this point. Shortly after everyone arrived, she started telling me how she didn't like the one girl there and thought she was fake. This girl was my friend Kim whom my two other buddies have been pining over for years but me, she was just a pal. Kim made a comment while we were out that night dancing about how my moves were "hot" and Amanda flipped out. When I tried to calm her down, she accused me of siding with Kim and disrespecting her for not seeing her way. Needles to say, all of my friends saw this side of her and were concerned. After we got back to Buffalo, things returned to normality somewhat. I was working a crummy retail job and the fighting began to mount. She would say how I was not who I purported to be and promised so much about how I knew how to treat a woman and a failed. These fights usually resolved themselves the same day however and we both chalked it up to the stress we were currently under. She said she no longer wanted to rent and began looking for a house. We spent many days doing the hunting and finally found one. She put in an offer at the end of May and it was accepted the next day. We celebrated and all was well. The big breakdown happened the following week. Her brother was coming up to visit from Tampa and her being Italian, family is huge for her. I met him and gave him a wine flask and tried to make a good impression. The next day however, would prove to be the beginning of the end. For whatever reason, I was in a crappy mood the next day and she asked me if I wanted to go over with her to her parents house and visit. I agreed but said I had wanted to go watch the new Indiana Jones movie at some point that night. When we got there, her brother (not having a car up here as he flew) borrowed hers (which we came over in) to go make an appearance at a wedding. Needless to say, he stayed all night and I was in a sour mood for the rest of the night. Up until now, her parents really liked me and she would tell me how that was a good sign as no one had ever been taken in by them like me. From that night on, I never did go over there again. She told me that because of my behavior that night, she saw me in a different light when I know all it was was just a bad mood. Now it is the first week of June and its disolving fast. She starts going out with her friends again alot more and wants nothing to do with me. She tells me how she's glad she didn't bring me to a bonfire party herfriends had because I wasn't "manly" enough to hang with them. She tells me shes not sexualy attracted to me any longer and for all intents and purposes, we are through but that I can stay there living until she moves out to her house on the first of August. A few weeks prior to all of this, she even paid to fix my car ($1100). On the 16th of June though, I had to leave for a week to Quantco Virginia for training with my reserve unit. I told her before I left to think about what she really wanted during the week I was gone and we'd talk when I returned. When I did finally return, Iwasn't whiny any longer, I didn't cry that we were breaking up like I had. I just looked at her and told her I still loved her but couldn't go on like it had been. She agreed and we had great make-up sex. A few days later however, drama returned! As juvenile as it sounds, when she broke up with me, I delete her from myspace. When I got home, I asked her to put me back and I saw she had deleted the poem I had written for her on Valentines Day in her blogs. I got weak and a little upset and asked why. She launched into this assault saying how "it's MYSPACE!!! It doesn't mean ANYTHING! We are too old and shouldn't have it anyway!" (She was 27, me 28). I took it differently because she changed her status to single so I looked at that as disrespect. She as telling me she wants to work it out yet was advertising to everyone else her single status. At this point, I decided to play her game. I started messaging a girl whom I knew back where I moved from. She was also living with her BF and their relationship was also rocky so we decided to make them jealous. We started flirty messages back and forth and talked on the phone once. I sent hera text message on a phone Amanda provided me with saying "Good night my swedish princess" to this other girl. I was in the shower on the morning of July 3rd when Amanda came home from work (she works the graveyard) and read the message in my outbox. She blew up, told me to get out and that she was done with me. At first I was stunned having only been awake for 5 minutes or so so when she called me out on the text I replied "shes my cousin." Then when actually tried to explain what this girl and I had tried to do, Amanda would not listen. She threw all of my belongings out, told everyone I had cheated (but it was just myspace and doesn't mean anything) and launched into huge personal attacks. Like most guys, when we weren't intimate I watched porn on the computer. Ask anyone who has visited a porn siteand they will tell you about the numerous pop-ups from all kinds of porn. She went and posted astatus update saying how I watched gay and animal porn and make her sick. No matter what I tried to say or do, she would not listen. The other girl I talked with got nasty emails from her and her BF called Amanda and lied to Amanda saying this has been going on for months which is completely false. I talked to this girl the other day and she even told me that he came clean to her and lied to Amanda. Amanda will not speak to me or have nothing to do with me now and all because she over-reacted to that text. I love her despite it all even though I ask myself how given the things she has said about me. I really want her to know the truth however and if she then doesn't want me then so be it. I'd rather be rejected through my own merit (or lack thereof) rather than some guy whom I have never met spewing forth hate and discontent. Please enotalone veterans, help me I beg of you. Link to comment
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