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Should i pursue this? Please help!


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I was introduced through a friend to this guy before Christmas, we shared a drunken one night stand and I didn’t think I’d hear from him again because I was told he had a lot of one night stands this term. So I accepted he probably wouldn’t be interested and left it, but he sent me an SMS asking how I was e.t.c. and we sent about 15 SMS’s to each other that night. But I was going away for a week and then we had a 3 week vacation.


But I was interested to know what he thought of me and he told my friend how amazing he thought I was and he told me that he was quite interested in me, but he had a drunken night whilst I was away with another girl. So I didn’t text him for about a month.


But last week when we went back to uni I saw him in a club, I decided not to make an effort to talk to him but he approached me and asked how I was, and then asked why I hadn’t text him, I told him I was waiting for him to but he thought I wasn’t interested and was ‘playing it cool’. We spent the rest of the evening together just chatting and meeting his friend’s e.t.c. And he ended up walking me home and staying over because it was a half hour walk through woods to his.


Again I thought I was just stupid enough to be an easy lay and that’s all he wanted but last week we sent a load more SMS’s to each other and I jokingly said that he should pick up his watch soon because it was taking up a lot of space and replied that he was busy that evening but he could come over the next evening. So he came over and watched videos, it was a really nice evening and was a change to actually not involve a club or alcohol.


But I can’t seem to think that maybe he’s just in it for sex, but on Monday he said how great it was we had so much in common and referred to ‘us’ a couple of times and i do actually speak to him every other day not just when he wants some. But I don’t know whether to pursue this and see if it develops into something more or is he just purely using me?

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Singfox is right in that you need to decide what you want to do. Once you decide whether you want to be with him to be in a relationship, you need to work toward making that happen. How to do that is a different question, than whether you should.


Normally the first tasks are to try to fulfill the other person emotional needs and to remain aloof and independent a the same time.


Frankly, he seems to be doing a good job at this. When you are together, he is great when you are together, then doesn't need you for a while. He spent the evening in the club with you, made you feel secure during that time, then didn't immediately have time to see you when you asked him over to get hsi watch.


You didn't do so bad either or he would not have asked if you were playing it cool.


The sex seems premature, but you hvae already been on that road and getting away from it now might be difficult. If it is what you want, there is no hard and fast rule against it. However, you should work to make it exclusive. How to do that when you are ready? Tell him you don't feel comfortable not knowing if it is. You will still see him, still date him, still like him, etc., but you want to know it is exclusive before you go to bed again. Or just let thigns roll.

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