__ Dont wanna mess it up!

[Ambitous]

Well, first off it was great finding this website_ didnt realize there was support and advice out there for this kinda thing =D

 

Anyhow, where to start... lets see about a week ago I met this wonderful girl, that now I've truly fallen for_ I was in a bad relationship 2 1/2 years ago and I was the clingy, needy boyfriend that I wish I hadn't been because that lead me to one of the hardest breakups I've went thru__

 

Its been well you guessed it 2 1/2 years since I've gone back into the dating scene_ now this girl I just met I think shes beautiful in everyway and I havent felt like this for anyone for a long while. A few days ago I noticed that I was falling for her and I kinda got (went crazy), because all those feelings of hurt returned_ well you can say I got it bad, so I freaked out and got scared of feeling that same way again so I texted her telling her that I don't know what I'm feeling but I think I'm falling for her__ Maybe I was thinking too much so I told her that. I keep thinking she's showing signs of not being interested but I guess I've read too many dating advices o.0__

 

I call her sometimes and she doesn't pickup, I text her and well she replys but doesnt seem to enthusiast about it. In my mind its telling me hey stupid don;t bother her she aint interested__ So it keeps me just thinking and feeling lost_

 

Now this happened a few days ago, I sent her a text that next following day also saying Goodbye, and that I still have a lot of pain I haven't dealt with it all yet and when I started to feel that I was falling for her It reminded me of what love can do to a person and that I dont' wanna bother her_

 

She replied saying, HOW CAN I LEAVE HER HANGIN - (My name)

Then also__ You ain't bothern me. U got me Bad.

 

She doesn't call me often, because I do think she is a busy person and very independent, so I don't wanna be the needy one, not this time at least__

 

We are suppose to have dinner this friday as setup_ Should I Go? Well really I dont know why I should even ask that as I know I should go but then again she told me that she'll have to see because she might have work depending__ ( I keep thinking thats a sign that says hey Im not sure I wanna go) Damn I dont even know why I keep thinking this way__

 

Someone help me get rid of this old me_ I want a real strong relationship this time, I don't wanna rush things yet I just cant seem to hold my heart back from spilling itself out on the floor for her__

 

I'm trying to practice self control for this burning desire to be with someone. What else can I do to help me condition my mind so that I won't be so needy of someone, so that this time around I can make a relationship last without ruining the chance of it__ I know my problem and I need help to fix it. Any advice would do_ and sorry for having such a confusing post its just I'm not really great at explaining things when it comes to it__

[ghost69]

go on the date and have a great time. you sound as if you are infatuated with her though. love within a week? no man.

[AnonymousMG]

I know how you feel about falling fast for somebody and being worried that you'll freak them out but the important thing is to not over-think things. Make sure to find other things to keep yourself busy, that way you won't be constantly thinking about her and you also will have more interesting things to talk to her about. I would keep the plans for Friday and see how that goes.

 

I think the problem a lot of people have in situations like this is mentally seeing the relationship further along than it really is. For example you have only been dating her for a short amount of time but you expect things to be at a level that they would be at after a few months maybe. Keeping things in perspective will make a world of difference.

 

I can tell just by how you are talking about her responses to calls and texts that you're over-analyzing it. If she doesn't pick up she might just be busy or not near the phone. It doesn't mean that it has something to do with you if she isn't responding right away.

 

The girl that I'm dating right now for a while kept cancelling plans to hang out because she had to babysit (this happened 4/5 times that I made plans with her). At first I was very self-conscious about it and throught that maybe it was just a put-on because she didn't want to hang out with me. Turns out that her sister has 4 kids and works all the time, and she really was babysitting every time she told me she was. Our minds have a tendency to expect the worst when we have strong feelings for somebody, just keep a level-head when you start to think this way and everything will be much smoother. It's a turn off for girls when you're constantly paranoid and worried whether or not they really care about you so even if you are thinking that way, show confidence on the outside.

-AMG

[romeo1546]

Just try to relax and be patient- you're feeling the feelings of falling for someone! But definitely relax, be calm, don't text her or call her as often as you might be. You might scare her away

 

Next time you feel like texting when she hasn't replied or texted you first- think to yourself how annoying you might be coming accross as. If it's been a few days, then sure give her a text or call but don't try texting first a few times a day especially if she's not responding! Patience, patience, patience.

 

I remember when I first met my ex- I've never "tried harder" for a girl. I was feeling as jittery as you are, but my friends were great to help control me! Every time I wanted to text her I'd ask my friends if I could and they'd yell "NO!!!"... keeping me controlled and pacing things definitely helped set things up perfectly. If you text her too much, like I said you might scare her off and ruin things for good!

[drewciouS281]

dude, you rush and push them too fast and this leaves the ball in thier court at all times. Your a man, grab your heuvos together and be one! If you tell a girl you love her out of the blue with out not even knowing if she feels the same, thats tossing your heart out on a limp over a crocodile pit. no offense brotha but dont be a girl. take hold of the situation. write her a letter or email apologizing for being so pushy and coming out so bluntly about your feelings. Tell her that you would like to just go with the flow of things and get to know one another and just have FUN! Right now she is probably not responding as much because your being too pushy, clingly and your putting alot of weight on her shoulders. take that weight off by that letter and she will be able to breath easier and want to spend more time with you. You CANT or SHOULDNT express your deep emotions or desires for that person till you can atleast see a hint of it from her. give it a couple months of good times before mentioning any more feelings and lasty STOP READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS!

 

LASTLY, I have recently found myself falling for someone too but her and i have been dating for 2 to 3 months now and are intimate. She has also hinted she is falling for me so you see, you have to wait for signs from her! oh and one more thing. you CANT start a new relationship if your still damaged goods from your past one, otherwise history will repeat itself, i gurrantee it!

[greensleeves]

All this drama in one week? Whoa...you need to slow things down. Go on the date if the opportunity comes up, but try to look at it just as a date, nothing else. One week of communication is too fast to fall for someone and you definitely shouldn't be telling her you're falling for her at this point...it's too fast. It may not be the girl, but the fact that you're dying to be back in a relationship. Just force yourself to take it slow and to practice some self control.

[Ambitous]

Thanks for all the replys, I guess I'm just weak at heart when it comes to these things_ I will keep reminding myself to take a breath and slow down to rethink things before reacting_ at least thats a start to realize you gotta a problem and you gotta do something about it__ you all made me realize a lot of things I havent yet and thanks for that__ I needed this =D