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When that second wave hits

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Not sure if anyone else has gone through this but since I have not seen anything similar I thought I'd throw it out there.


I found this site back in October after my relationship of 4 years ended. Lots of reasons why but basically she went off to law school and couldn't handle the relationship anymore. I turned to all of my cyber buddies here and with the support I received (along with a good counselor and some meds to help with sleep) I eventually pulled myself back up.


I last saw her two months ago when we sold the house we bought together and although I had some mixed feelings I knew I would never see her again after all the paperwork was signed but I was ok with that. I thought I had reached that peak of healing and had finally gotten over her.


About a week ago I woke up and suddenly missed her. I was so confused. I was over her. I had moved on and my heart had healed. Why were these feelings coming back? Why was I relapsing? Reacting on impulse I sent her a quick email asking if school had started yet and she replied with a quick "I can't be friends with you anymore. We'll talk at the end of the year to discuss the taxes on the sale of the house". Ok, so back to the whole NC game.


But here's the major difference between this little pot hole in the road and the canyon I felt like I was in back in October - I know this time I'll get through it. Not sure why I fell into this funk again but I was given the tools after our first break up to know what I need to do. I realized that my heartbreak in October taught me so much and here I am, 10 months later, getting to use these tools firsthand.


So take solace in knowing you're going through hard times for a reason and sooner or later you'll be able to fall back on the things you're learning about yourself now. Unfortunately for some of you, you might find yourself missing your ex long after you have healed. I'm being told it's not that uncommon. For others you might have to go through this break-up "mess" with your next relationship. Take what you can from your current heart break and use those tools to get through the next challenge life throws at you. Stay strong.

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You are right. I still fall into the "funk" from time to time. Usually it's right after my ex contacts me. Nothing ever comes out of it and I would go back to NC. The difference is now I know I will get over it. I also notice the recovery phase seems get faster each time.

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