Am i just being blonde?

[Sugar-Rush]

Morning ENotaloners,

 

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

Please humour my musings this morning. I'm getting married in 10 weeks and counting Even though i'm really nervous i'm also really excited as you can imagine.

 

Last night i got to thinking maybe i should move in with my mum until the wedding, she has a spare room and is kinda out all the time, obvioulsy i would check with her but i'm guessing it would be fine. She lives about 20 miles away which is about a 30 minute drive.

There is nothing wrong in my relationship, infact it is the most happy i've ever been. But at the same time i think it would be really lovely to have some space and then make moving back in together after the wedding really special.

 

Hmmmm but then i got to thinking, if its not broke don't fix it right? So we are really happy living together, why would i give that up?

 

Part of me just thinks it'd be far more special. I dunno what do you reckon am i just being immature.

I mentioned it to my partner and initaially he was against the idea, then he said actually if it's what i want it's fine as long as i'm not having doubts, which i'm not and that we can still see each other on weekends and some nights after work...which is what i want too.

 

Any thoughts? Am i just being blonde?

 

Sugar xxxx

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

I can understand your reasoning, but also that he is not too happy about it. First, you are used to living together now. It would be a big change in a time that is already busy and stressful. In addition, he may want to do this together, live towards the big day together, etc.

 

Why don't you stay with your mom just the two days prior to your wedding?

[Circe]

I can completely understand.. you want something to mark the dividing line between married and not married.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I understand the impulse, but you've got a lot going on leading to marriage, and any kind of change/move adds to the stress.

 

It's a lot like shutting the barn door after the cow got out given you've been living together already.

 

And being married is a big/significant chance which you will feel regardless.

 

How about a compromise and live with your parents for one week before the wedding? That would be more like a vacaion and less disruptive.

[Batya33]

In at least one culture I know the tradition is for the bride and groom not to see each other for the week before the wedding for just the reasons you described, so you might want to do some variation of that - not see each other the day before, etc, which won't seem at all like changing your living together situation, just a very temporary line in the sand between single and married.

[Darkness_Falls]

I can completely understand where you are coming from and I think it sounds like an interesting idea. Perhaps you could do it, but a bit closer to the wedding? Perhaps something similar to what Batya said, maybe a few weeks before the wedding? I can understand why your partner would freak out a bit, if he had approached you with the idea, maybe you would think he was having doubts too. As long as you reassure him that you aren't having doubts I think he will be fine with it. It sounds like a good idea to divide a time where you weren't married and when you are, making it that bit more special.

[Flux]

Firstly, congratulations, and I hope the wedding goes peachy

 

Secondly.. I think i'd feel the same in the situation, rationing myself before the wedding (if that hows you're looking at it) just to get some space, and make seeing each other when you do more amazing. It sounds like a good idea to me, but it's up too you

 

GL and hope you enjoy your big day when it comes

[Tethys]

Well, yes, if it's not broke, don't fix it..

 

Trust me, no matter what you decide to do, the wedding and honeymoon will be special. You don't have to put artificial restrictions on it, esp because they will feel artificial. I understand the sentiment, though. Also, making sudden changes could be undermining.

 

As an amusing anecdote... before I got married my partner and I decided to not have sex for two weeks before the wedding, so it could be special (lol). It backfired in a big way and became a running joke. We were so excited that we couldn't keep our hands off each other and failed miserably. Luckily, we had a very spicy honeymoon and of course it felt VERY special! We were now married!

[Sugar-Rush]

Thank you so much for all your different opinions guys. Means a lot!

I'm gunna give it some more time but i think I have decided maybe to move in to my mums for 2-3 weeks as apposed to 10 weeks. It would be silly and unpracticle and also as someone said it will be nice to share in the build up to the wedding together.

I like the idea of a no sex rule for a few weeks, we'll see.

Thanks again

 

Sugar xxx

[Darkness_Falls]

Thank you so much for all your different opinions guys. Means a lot!

I'm gunna give it some more time but i think I have decided maybe to move in to my mums for 2-3 weeks as apposed to 10 weeks. It would be silly and unpracticle and also as someone said it will be nice to share in the build up to the wedding together.

I like the idea of a no sex rule for a few weeks, we'll see.

Thanks again

 

Sugar xxx

 

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

[Hope75]

I can see where you are going with this but I think it may be disruptive and damaging to your relationship if it's more than a week, or two, at most. The last thing you need is to disrupt your lives and relationship any more than planning a wedding/marriage does.

 

Your guy has voiced that he's concerned your moving out of the home you created together means you are having second thoughts and doubts about him... think about how it may feel from his perspective before making any big decisions.

 

My fiance and I live together and are getting married in 5 weeks (!) and we will be staying apart the night before the wedding and that's about it. I couldn't be apart from him longer than that, I'd miss him too much!

 

Congrats on your wedding and marriage.