How much is too much:Saying I love you?

[sushi_pompom]

So last night it was said; we both exchanged "I love yous" which is beyond wonderful and fantastic! I'm so happy (he said I was glowing last night), but the problem is, now I am concerned with how much I should say it. I don't want to go over board and seem clingy but I don't want to say it too little making him think I am really not in love with him. Plus there is a side of me that feels he should verbalize the L-word first, leaving me to be the one who responds. Perhaps I would prefer it this way because then I know 100% he does indeed love me? *shrugs*

 

For example, last night he left really late and I told him to call me once he got home just so I knew he made it safe, when he did he said "love you" and I responded "I love you too". Now about an hour ago he calls to see how my day went and the L-word wasn't uttered at all on either sides, I wanted to say it but I bit my tongue because as I stated I don't want to seem needy or insecure. But I do indeed feel so much love for him and I want to express it verbally...what's a girl to do?

 

So do you think it's too much to say it at the end of a conversation, maybe thrown into a couple texts through out the day? Plus I don't want to utter it too much because then it won't seem so special... I'm being silly aren't I?

If I feel it should I say it? I don't know...what do you guys think?

[Aviatormy]

I would tell him next time you talk to him. Just say that it felt great to say it last night and that you had to bite your tongue not to say it when he called today. Ask him how he would feel if you not only SHOWED him that you love him but how he would feel if you said it too.

 

I seriously doubt he woud have a problem with honesty

[thejigsup]

When my bf and I first started dating, he told me he never said "I love you" to anyone as the words have let him down so many times. Instead, in our relationship, we can never say "I love you" to each other, ever. We have to SHOW each other how much we care without words. We cannot say, "I'm sorry" also, because those,too, are often empty words, we have to SHOW each other how sorry we feel. This is the best system ever! I am shown CONSTANTLY how much he cares for me, and I show him all the time, too. We have been together many years because we can't take the easy way out and use pretty words. We actually have to work at our communication. It really is a good system, you should try it!

[sushi_pompom]

When my bf and I first started dating, he told me he never said "I love you" to anyone as the words have let him down so many times. Instead, in our relationship, we can never say "I love you" to each other, ever. We have to SHOW each other how much we care without words. We cannot say, "I'm sorry" also, because those,too, are often empty words, we have to SHOW each other how sorry we feel. This is the best system ever! I am shown CONSTANTLY how much he cares for me, and I show him all the time, too. We have been together many years because we can't take the easy way out and use pretty words. We actually have to work at our communication. It really is a good system, you should try it!

 

That's a good idea. We definitely both show one another we love each other. Actually we both already knew in our hearts that we loved one another even before the words were spoken. You can just tell. But I also like to verbalize it. We kinda have a ldr...he's about an hour and half drive. We see each other about twice a week so I think saying it will be a big part of the relationship until I move in with him (which I am sure will be the next thing). I love that idea though. Very cool!

[thejigsup]

We never have said it but once to each other. I, too, have been fooled by pretty words that meant nothing. I missed hearing the words for awhile, but after a little bit, I grew to love the showing me stuff! We see each other every day, no matter how busy we are (and we are both professionals with busy careers), discuss everything with each other, and are best friends. We have both seen other couples come and go since we have been together. Now, life isn't perfect and we do disagree at times, but we talk everything out and have only raised our voices to each other once in 9 years. We disagree without being disagreeable. We have NEVER called each other names or used bad language during a disagreement. In other words, we conduct ourselves as mature adults. Neither one of us is gung-ho on marriage, so we stay happily unmarried and happy.

[Night Pumpkin]

Telling someone you love them won't make you seem clingy or weak.

 

My girlfriend and I tell each other we love each other when ever we feel like it, which is almost every day. There is nothing as special as looking into your parner's eyes at a random time, and telling them you love them and are so happy they are in your life.

 

Telling someone you love them is just that; just telling them you love them.

[Circe]

Love is - the most powerful emotion and force there is. Words can't express love. Not even the "I love you" words. They can however express affection. So see those words for what they are and don't put more weight into them than what they deserve.

 

if you can do that then you should be able to say them whenever you want to express some affection without fearing you are saying too much. Thats just my take on it..

[sushi_pompom]

You're are so right...the words "I love you" don't even come close to expressing the emotions I have for him. We actually talked last night about this...about saying it and how often. I'm such a silly girl...I just wanted to make sure he was okay with it. I mean, I know he loves me but his last relationship really messed him up. He was the guy who said he was never going to be in a relationship again, never going to allow himself to love someone, and then I came along and changed all his plans. I'm just so happy and I feel so lucky! He's amazing