Feels Like Fall

[Shattered21]

Today it felt like fall.... And the cool crisp air just brought back a flood of memories that I completely forgot about.

I was hit with remembering the polo match we went to, apple picking, the horse race we went to with his mom, the walks in the park, his cousins soccer game and just the overall picture of me in my little fall coat that he loved while he wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm from the cool air.

 

I was doing great yesterday, saw all our flaws and all his flaws and how selfish and moody he was. Woke up fine, but when that cool air hit me I just remember last september and how it was our last month together before both our jobs started and things would change and it just took over.

 

Now all i want is to get september over with. I am sick of being reminded of him and sick of thinking how I am going into this month alone and that he is not even the slightest bit apart of my life...

[Steve 7745]

Seasonal rememberance. You associate memories of your ex to the month of September and the activities that occur in it.

 

I find the best way to get over someone during this time is to visit all the old haunts and places you two went too in order to get over him. Confronting and accepting such memories helps you to finally and fully let go of the lingering emotions of a relationship and move on.

[yankeefan74]

I went out last night, and wound up in a bar i hadn't been in since April and my ex was with me. Because of the Corona, i had a good time...lol. But when that wore off, i just felt so empty. I honestly never believed i'd be in a bar again as a single guy, and it felt like crap. I've been in bars since the breakup but for some reason - probably because i haven't spoken to her in 6 days, reality has definitely begun to set in deeply. I was my own worst enemy - i delayed this part of things by listening to her, kissing her, etc. so it's my own fault.

 

But i can definitely relate to these types of memories. This morning has been really hard.

 

My favorite movie of all time is "Dawn of the Dead" - the original. At least, it's one of my favorites...top 5 easy...and it's hers too. This fall-like weather reminds me of watching it with her. I miss her today.

[Steve 7745]

My favorite memory was lying in bed next to Lauren. She was this quiet girl, she could only express herself in these little acts of affection, unable to really say how she felt. She was never very good with words, but you just kind of felt it around it. It was like this aura in a way, a sense of warmth that was without need for the verbal.

 

It was in the moments when she would put her hands on my face, her eyes changing from looking into my eyes and then at my lips. She would do that for a while, one of the few girls who actually could stare into my eyes for prolonged periods without feeling nervous. And when she kissed you, you got a sense of all that was feminine, this powerful and unquestioning sense of what it truly meant to unconditionally love someone.

 

But never in her life time would she have been able to tell you. It simply was in her presense you'd know. You'd just feel it. Words could only ruin the sensation.

 

This was during the autumn. I think I actually look forward to remembering them, because whenever I do, my recent exs mean nothing before it.

[lovemycoffee41]

This is the part of breaking up that I have the worst time dealing with. But fortunately, every time you are reminded of the ex because of a situation, a season, a bar, whatever, it's a chance to make new memories. The first few times may suck, but try to think of the things that are to come. Because there are lots of fantastic times to come.

[riley123]

Hey Shattered,

 

Doesn't it absolutely suck when your doing well, moving forward and then BAM! Out of nowhere a flood of the "good memories" come rushing into our heads?

 

Well, it will pass, but I know how frustrating it can be. Certain places, events, smells and sounds trigger memories of my ex and put that pang right back in my stomach, but I don't fight it anymore. I go with how I'm feeling.

 

Next time that it happens allow yourself to relive the memory, but don't dwell on it to the point of sadness. Sometimes we suppress emotions we shouldn't.

 

Remember the expression: "Don't be sad it's over, be happy that it happened."

 

Take care.

[Shattered21]

Thank you all for your stories... I just get so hard on myself for still being in this place. I am trying to distinguish between my emotions. I guess you are right it is fine to remember let it pass and move forward. (today I didn't go through the extra stuff of wondering if he ever thinks the same way, or why did this happen, or how I won't find anyone that I will have those memories with)

 

Today I simply cried b/c of the happy memories that I had and missed and just let it end there.

 

I guess overall I should have expected this and hope that in time there will be fewer less intense memories. But i know I can't put a time-limit on how long this will last.

 

I simply just miss him, so clearly these emotions will be triggered, but I also know that I can't let them fully take over.

 

Thanks again for your stories and words... It is nice to know that others are out there feeling the same way, and all appologies if you read this and your emotions got triggered!

Hope everyone soon expierences stronger better times to wash away the old one memories!

[jmax2157]

For me it's always certain songs or tv shows. That brings back memories of laying on the couch with her, laughing at the drama on those reality shows. I know getting through the fall season isn't as easy as turning the tv off but what I did find helpful was a little self talk. Just told myself I was going to be ok (even if I didn't truly believe it) over and over. After a while I think you do believe yourself so when the flood of memories hit you just take a deep breath, acknowledge what you are going through is normal, and just tell yourself you'll be ok.

[StillSmiling]

Seasonal rememberance. You associate memories of your ex to the month of September and the activities that occur in it.

 

I find the best way to get over someone during this time is to visit all the old haunts and places you two went too in order to get over him. Confronting and accepting such memories helps you to finally and fully let go of the lingering emotions of a relationship and move on.

 

Great advice. I have just recently begun doing this.

 

When he first left, it seemed everywhere I went, I would fall apart in tears because I was with him "the last time". Even Home Depot would bring me to my knees ...

 

Now, I have made it a point to revisit all of our places. I even had lunch yesterday with a GF at the restaurant where we first met. Also in September. I looked at the table where we sat and FINALLY was able to remember him without the tears.

 

Bitter sweet, but a part of the healing process.

 

To the OP, you need to make new special memories for September. As I do. In fact, I think I'm going to really work on getting creative about it and make it happen. Hadn't really thought about it much until this thread. Now I know I need to plan something really special for September 9th.

 

We WILL survive this too ...