update on my situation

[pumpkinmoon]

For those of you who dont know here is my post from a few days ago...

 

 

 

Well it is definitely over. I found out that the day he dumped me again (Saturday) the he ended up kissing some girl ALREADY!!!! I mean am I that worthless that he sould do that?

 

 

He now knows who it is that has been sending me these emails and I know of her. She was out Saturday night and it is the girl that he kissed Saturday night. He has told me that he thinks his brother has been feeding her this information. His parents are blaming my ex for the trouble this has caused. I am still in contact with him as he is in such a mess that all I want to do is help him despite how he has hurt me. I just don't know what I can do to help him. It is his birthday tomorrow and I feel so bad that it isn't going to be a happy day for him

 

I just don't know what to do. Despite all this I still want to be with him but he will not have it and I have done nothing wrong. I just feel so sick that he would break up with me again over something that someone else did. I can't believe he let her do this to us I feel like my only crime was loving him.

[Karen33]

Why on earth do you want to help him? He doesn't need your help. He's already looking after number 1 quite well!

 

And is he fretting about all the bad days that he's caused you? Its his birthday tomorrow? Well here's hoping he grows up.

 

You can really help him by showing him that there are consequences to actions in the adult world and the consequences of this is that he doesn't get a wonderful person like you in his life.

[lostandhurt]

Oh my sweet fairy,

I feel so bad for you. You have poured your heart and soul out for this guy and he just treats you so badly. It is time for you to go NC on this guy. You need to be selfish for a little while and look out for yourself and only yourself. Your hurting so much that I don't think you are thinking as clearly as you could be. Please take at least a few days to just think about you and what you want. Your heart will ache for him, or what you wish you could have with him but he just isn't capable of that kind of loving, caring and honest relationship with you or anyone else. He is messed up that is for sure, but it isn't your fault and it certainly isn't your job to help him. He hasn't even taken any responsability for any of his actions and until he can be honest with himself how can he accept help or help himself.

Fairy please protect yourself from this guy.

 

lost

[BrokenJoy]

Hi Fairy,

I agree with the above posters. You gave so much to this guy and he's not returning anything back. He's hurt you too much and you don't deserve that kind of treatment at all. You deserve someone who will respect you and return the kindness you have showed him. You really should go NC with him, and you need to clear your own thoughts and realize on your own what kind of person he has been with you. Ask yourself, do I deserve this? I recently got out of a 3 year relationship, I caught my ex with another girl. He felt so bad for it and didn't realize what he was doing at the time. Besides feeling absolutely betrayed and devastated, my thinking was clouded at the time, that I started comforting him for his mistake. As karen, the above poster said, "there are consequences to actions in the adult world and the consequences of this is that he doesn't get a wonderful person like you in his life." Best of luck. Feel free to PM me =]

[pumpkinmoon]

Lost - I have read your pm's but when I click reply nothing happens. I am unable to chat on the our other site as I am getting ready for work. I don't feel as though I can work but if I take anymore time off I will get sacked

 

Thank you to you all for your words of advice. I understand what you are saying but I just know there is a good person under there somewhere. I feel so pathetic it's unbelievable. I can't believe I have to go through all of this again. We are still talking right now via text. He is so hurt by all of this, his parents have turned their backs on him and is blaming him for it all. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go NC but I don't feel I can ignore him at a time like this.

[pumpkinmoon]

Also yesterday I accused him of being involved with the email sending and I feel so bad about that. He said he felt sick that I thought he could do something like that and now I am disgusted with myself

[Karen33]

Shoefairy there is good and bad in everyone. you're having trouble ignorning him at a time like this but he didn't mind having sex with another woman while you were in a terrible state over the breakup. Oh and he's no problem with you getting these emails either. Do you think he's crying to her? No he doesn't need to. he's not having to justify bad treatment to her. And whose fault is it that his parents are angry with him? Is it yours? No its not. Its his. and big boys don't go crying to the people they've trampled all over.

 

I cannot believe you think you need to help him. all you're doing is helping him to walk all over you again. . hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.

[Karen33]

Also yesterday I accused him of being involved with the email sending and I feel so bad about that. He said he felt sick that I thought he could do something like that

 

Yeah because the girl must have guessed your email address. He wouldn't have given it to her.

[lostandhurt]

fairy, make sure you take care of yourself including keeping your responsablities like work. There very well be good inside him somewhere but he isn't a project. He really hasn't even treated you with the smallest amount of respect. Please just tell him you need some NC so you can figure out what is best for you. I have to go but I will look for you later. Look for one more PM from me.

 

lost