this breakup is killing me

[trash mail]

The title sounds so overly dramatic and i do apologize for it, what i hate about breaking up is not that fact that my ex and i have parted but the fact that i feel i have failed.

 

It takes me so long to get over the fact that i have failed again and move on to a new relationship. I suppose i may take it too personally but isn't it just that???!!?? it is personal. She wasn't perfect and neither was i but she can move on and i'm here trying get over the fact that i have failed in another relationship.

 

To be honest the ending of the relationship was for the better but the fact that i wasn't able to give her what she wanted (which was just so much attention) was just out of my ability.

 

Someone have any ideas how to get over this fact?? or can share their experiences?

[greywolf]

A relationship isn't a test. You can't really 'fail' at it, but you can learn from it. Everything takes practice, even relationships. Learn from each relationship and improve yourself.

[Eternalhope]

QUOTE

To be honest the ending of the relationship was for the better but the fact that i wasn't able to give her what she wanted (which was just so much attention) was just out of my ability.

 

She sounds very like my ex.No matter how much attention she got she always wanted more.They are so insecure that they want us to make up for their insecurities by lavishing attention on them constantly.

 

If we have to do something important and move our attention from them they then accuse us of not giving them what they need.Unless they change their attitude,they will never be happy as their own happiness needs to start from within them.We cannot be made responsible for their lack of self esteem etc.

[kuhl282000]

You really do not fail, you just don't get it right .....all the planets have to come into alignment sometimes ....they can be very complicated ....

 

The lesson ....she needed attention ...you did not or were not able to give it to her....I just left a relationship and part of it was because of not enough attention

 

Good luck in your next one .......

[Steve 7745]

Try this. Sit down and ask yourself what you really, really liked about her. Look at all her good traits, not the memories, just the traits that you enjoyed about her. Write them down.

 

Then think about your relationship. Follow up on your memories and genuinely figure out where and how things went wrong, write down every single reason you can think of as to why the relationship ended. When you've done that, classify them into three categories: Things you can do to improve yourself such as being more tolerant, things that were unacceptable about her that you cannot change such as poor behavior, and then circumstances beyond either of your control such as a drastic change, etc.

 

When you do this, you'll be able to more logically come to terms with the events that have happened. Not only will you help speed some of your recovery, you'll also begin to grasp elements about relationships you never thought about before, and perhaps can gain some valuable self insight to help you with the next one.