falloutguy Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Split up with a partner, together a while, but the time spent together meant nothing to her ! She said it had been fun while it lasted. Eh! Why deceive me... It was either just a bit of fun or more than that, she always pushed for marriage, how can that just be a bit of fun? Cant come to terms with that discept ? Help. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 People don't always say what they mean. Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 There's not much in the way of details. I can't offer any insight without a better description of the scenario. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 If she wanted to get married and you did not ask her, then she is probably trying to save face and walking away by telling you that it did not mean anything in the long run. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 She's trying to be in some position of power - it's easier to be a b**** than to realize her mistakes..if she makes herself sound like she was in control (saying it never meant anything and that was her plan with you) then she thinks she can have some effect on you. Typical move. Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 If she wanted to get married and you did not ask her, then she is probably trying to save face and walking away by telling you that it did not mean anything in the long run. Ahhh, now I get it. In the past, I've gone out with girls who have done similar save face tactics like ycmanvs described. One girl was very eager to hang out with me. She was likeable in many ways, but I just felt uncomfortable for some reason. After she suggested going back to her place, I cut our date short. A while later, I got an email from her: "Not that you would have got any, but why did you take off?" One of my ex flings did something similar. Things ended and she seemed sorry and apologetic. A few months later, we got into an argument where she said, "You didn't have a chance with me anyway!" I find this point somewhat moot since we had already had sex. Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 yeah, i heard some similar things from my ex...and once i put it together with what was going on when she said it, it made sense. You basically can't listen to it, it's not the truth, and the above posts describe why people say these things. I asked my two weeks after we broke up if she still loved me - this is after she had kissed me twice that day, and once the week before, and she nodded her head. She couldn't bring herself to still say it, but i kept telling her that i could see it in her eyes when she looked at me - it was still there. My ex would tell me one day that nobody on the planet knows her better than i do at this point in my life, and then last week she told me not to assume that i know her because i "don't." lol. The mistake here wasn't hers - i shouldn't have still been talking about such things with her. So lesson learned. Link to comment
Daegas Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 They are saying it more to convince themselves than that they are saying it to convince you. Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Thats to bad bro ...I can feel your pain ......she blew you off. I think you'll be much better off even if you can't see that today Link to comment
falloutguy Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 It was a while ago that we broke up. She said that she had her eye on someone and I asked if she was seeing him, answer "NO" So I asked if she wanted to get back together. She replied "No" when I asked about all the time we had been together the reply I got was "it was just fun whilst it lasted". This from the person who would cause arguments because I was not ready to marry her !! The relationship meant so much to me, but nothing to her... I cant seem to come to terms with that ! Link to comment
Daegas Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 It was a while ago that we broke up. She said that she had her eye on someone and I asked if she was seeing him, answer "NO" So I asked if she wanted to get back together. She replied "No" when I asked about all the time we had been together the reply I got was "it was just fun whilst it lasted". This from the person who would cause arguments because I was not ready to marry her !! The relationship meant so much to me, but nothing to her... I cant seem to come to terms with that !Maybe she is saying it more to herself than to you to get over it faster? (Yes, I posted that already). Otherwise she may just be that kind of girl who takes a day at a time. It was fun while it lasted, but it isn't anymore now, so why go back? Link to comment
falloutguy Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 The last thing she said was she did not want a bitter aftertaste. How can you not have that when you either act like or the relationship had no meaning. You cant decieve someone like that. When we first parted I could of really hurt her, but you dont do that to someone you care about, she pushed to remain in contact, but as soon as another guy on the scene its F**k off, you meant nothing. How cruel ! I would gladly pay to get all the memories of her removed... Why do it this way! What a * * * * * .... I hate her and cant come to terms with what she has done..... Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 The last thing she said was she did not want a bitter aftertaste. How can you not have that when you either act like or the relationship had no meaning. You cant decieve someone like that. When we first parted I could of really hurt her, but you dont do that to someone you care about, she pushed to remain in contact, but as soon as another guy on the scene its F**k off, you meant nothing. How cruel ! I would gladly pay to get all the memories of her removed... Why do it this way! What a * * * * * .... I hate her and cant come to terms with what she has done..... Well, obviously the relationship meant nothing if you did not want to get married. You sent her the signal that she wasn't good enough to marry and now you're upset because she's "agreeing" with you? She probably really liked you. Perhaps loved you. Telling someone you don't see yourself marrying them is very stinging, and she's probably trying to come to terms with the pain you caused her. And given your choice words you just laid for her here, I have to wonder what you've said to her before. Honestly falloutguy. How did you treat her? Link to comment
falloutguy Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Well, obviously the relationship meant nothing if you did not want to get married. You sent her the signal that she wasn't good enough to marry and now you're upset because she's "agreeing" with you? She probably really liked you. Perhaps loved you. Telling someone you don't see yourself marrying them is very stinging, and she's probably trying to come to terms with the pain you caused her. And given your choice words you just laid for her here, I have to wonder what you've said to her before. Honestly falloutguy. How did you treat her? Sorry that is my pain coming out. I was scared of getting married. (lots of reasons). I did not treat her badly in any way or say I would never get married, its just she was pushing for it and it scared me. (Not her fault, but no reason to be horrible, I was not). We remained on close terms up until this happened. To be honest it took the mention of another man for me to realise that it was my fear that held me back. But I thought i had left it to long and she had met another. I accepted that. However when I asked if single or dating she said no, she just liked some guy. It was only then (I dont wreck other peoples relationships) when she had confirmed she was single and available that I approached the subject of us getting back togther. If I had of received a no, then fine. But I could not handle what I got back, that it had actually meant nothing to her! Two people can love each other and not be in love, or two people can be in love but not compatable. But this was 100% out of the blue and thats what I cant cope with. !! Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Alright. How long ago was the break up and how long were you two together again? Giving details will help people on this board help you in any direction you choose to go with this. Link to comment
falloutguy Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Alright. How long ago was the break up and how long were you two together again? Giving details will help people on this board help you in any direction you choose to go with this. The break up was a while ago and we were together for many years, cant change the past but its a hard past to come to terms with ! I seek answers here, because I struggle to see how a person could off reacted in such a manner. I cant get the answers of that person, but this still hurts and plays on my mind. I would like to put it to rest, so to speak. Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 The break up was a while ago and we were together for many years, cant change the past but its a hard past to come to terms with ! I seek answers here, because I struggle to see how a person could off reacted in such a manner. I cant get the answers of that person, but this still hurts and plays on my mind. I would like to put it to rest, so to speak. Alright. Here's my take. First, you need to decide whether your interest is getting back with her and getting married, or letting her go. It seems you go back and forth on this. I'm not going to start mindlessly prescribing NC to this situation yet, but I think some clarity would help you decide your best course of action here. You should take today to sit down and decide what you genuinely want. One of the things about breaking up is that sometimes we're divided. We want them back, but then we seem to hate them for what they did to us. If you want to let go, fine. If you want to reconcile and consider marriage, fine. But the first step is choosing. Don't respond, don't jump at an answer just yet. Take a day to think about what you want. We'll be here when you get back. Link to comment
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