needing a little support today

[sademma]

hi guys, i seem to be feeling really low today. it will be 4 weeks friday, and although we have had quite a bit of contact i still miss him like crazy.

 

im sitting about the house today because its raining and there isnt much to do, i know i need to start packing my stuff up, but just cant seem to find the energy or motivation to do it. im so sad today.

 

i am sitting with my phone next to just dying to text him to see how he is today, i wonder if he is thinking of me. he told me he does think of me and he told me he misses me. i guess im just hoping that a light switch will go on in his head and he will think "oh my god, what have i done, maybe she was good to me afterall" im also wishing i could find those magic words that make him think that.

 

i so badly want to text him to ask him to come home. i know he will say no. so i cant do that.

 

i just dont feel like i am coping at all today and really need words of encouragment or help.

 

thank you xxx

[Clabs]

Hi Emma

 

I am so sorry you are feeling so down today - HUGS honey - as always.

 

I know what you mean about this weather - it is rotten, and really doesn't help at all.

 

Of course you want to text him and ask him to come home - but you know what his current answer would be so it would just make you feel even worse if you did.

 

You have to be strong, darling - as hard as it seems right now. I don't have any other words of wisdom except to take it hour by hour and day by day whilst you are feeling like this.

 

Take care of yourself and keep coming back here as often as you can.

 

Mark

[Dani0613]

Hey Emma,

I understand what you're going thru darling b/c I'm feeling exceptionally low today myself. I'm trying my hardest to keep myself occupied, but it's not working. Some days are better than others.

 

Know that you're not in this alone and we're all here to support you. My ex's sister just had her first baby this weekend and it's been KILLING me to know that I haven't been a part of it. We had talked about the day it was to happen when we first found out she was pregnant and how we would all be at the hospital together It hurts, badly...

 

Be good to yourself and stay strong...

[Honesty]

I know how you're feeling. It's my birthday and I just want to text him right now.

 

I find it easier when I think about how I feel having been the one calling the shots..I haven't text him, I've responded to his message with one word answers..etc etc. That feeling is so much better than the feeling of having text him and got no reply, or called him and got no answer..stay atrong, we're all with you.

 

Carley

[sademma]

thank you for the words...

 

everytime i think about texting him i just go and smoke a cigarette now.... bad i know... but at least it stops me thinking about him for a few minutes.

 

Carley, happy birthday!!!!xxxx

 

have to go and get some boxes and pick up my son soon. i guess that will get me out and take my mind off him for a while.

 

xxx

[SapphireNoir10]

Stay strong hun.

 

Your doing so well. I wouldnt know WHAT to do in your situation. You have your beautiful son to keep you going.

 

Know that for now getting out of this is for the best. HE doesnt know what he wants and maybe you pulling away properly, going as low contact as possible will show him what hes missing. It might not. But at least you'll be used to being by yourself.

[sademma]

god i am REALLY struggling tonight, feel like im so depressed i cannot see a way out from these feeling tonight... i feel so desperately lonely tonight. i could sit and cry and cry for hours. but i cant. i feel if i let go i wont ever stop crying.

 

i havent had any contact with him today and i have missed him so so much..... feels like its happened all over again. all i can think about is, has he missed me the way i have missed him tonight..... i dont know.

 

been to see my psychologist tonight and all he said as the same as you guys were telling me, try to find a focus, which i AM trying but life seems so pointless at the moment. i think i am at either my lowest or one of my lowest days. i know this because on the way home i was hoping i would crash then the decision to live with this pain is out of my hands. i have not felt like this before.

 

Coming home from picking the kids up from my mum was horrible. the house was dark and empty and i have started packing up stuff so its not really a home anymore. i guess it stopped being that when he decided he didint want us to be a family any longer.

 

i feel so low tonight i just want to cry and cry and i need this pain and despair to just go away.

 

just wanted to write this out becuase i hope it helps me.... thanks for listening

[Clabs]

Oh Emma - I feel your pain darling.

 

Cry and cry all you need to - don't keep it in. There is no shame in really letting it all out.

 

I have said before - there is little for you to focus on while you are so low - nothing will have any value in your eyes right now. Curl up on the sofa and put a movie on.

 

You will be stronger - you have been stronger - but you need to suck up these crappy times for now.

 

Give some thought to this. Why are you putting so much value on someone who it seems puts such little value on your feelings. He is all out for him. Him him him. * * * * .

 

You need to look out for you now. I know it seems hard but you have a lot of support. Better to be with someone else or on your own than with someone who tramples on your heart like this.

 

Keep strong darling.

 

Mark

[John Bendix]

Emma,

 

Once you have that emotion, no matter how unpleasant, it's real. Accept it with the knowledge that it is fleeting and dissipates almost as soon as you experience it. By judging it and wanting it to be other than it is right now, you get to keep esperiencing it over and over again. The cycle is referred to as an emotional loop. Thoughts creating emotions, emotions sensed by the mind creating additional thoughts (in feedback) and so on.

 

By living in this cycle, we can start to perceive that these emotions (and thoughts) are a part of us and who we are. Nothing could be further from the truth. By accepting the temporary nature of emotions (as well as thoughts) without the urge to judge them and yourself for having them (I hate feeling this way), and wanting them to be different than they are (These feelings need to change right now), the suffering seems to subside.

[kuhl282000]

The magic words have to come from them