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feeling down for the last couple of days


goodguy81

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so she just called asking for a $500 loan..and i told her no cuz ive already lent her alot of money to date..she told me shes drowning and was codependent on me and talked bout how i made more...and threw that in my face...i really wanted to help but couldnt logically..my heart wanted to..then she cried and told me off about how shes not gonna speak to me nemore

 

i asked what about the new guy and she said she doesnt know him like that and that he doesnt have money etc...was it wrong to tell her to go the new guy

 

was i wrong in not helping her in a time of need (she has no1 else) and was very upset ..plus we were thinkgin about working things out..a part of me felt like i should haev done it too remind her how iw as there for her..but i didnt want to open myself up to feeling used

 

im very shaken up and cant thnk

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Holy Smokes man! This post just keeps getting tougher and tougher to read. I know you still care about her, you two were together for 9 freaking years! Obviously you still have feelings for her but you just have to cut her off man. You got to see what this is doing to you. No you were not wrong. You don't owe her anything.

 

Really man please go NC. She made her decision. You are hurt. This is a time for you to get better and heal! I have no idea but this is really showing you her integrity that she leaves a 9 year relationship. Goes to another guy right away. Now she is asking for your help! Man just back up she made her decision to go, her holding on is only hurting you.

 

I know it's tough when you love someone. It really is. You just have to have the respect for yourself that she obviously right now does not have for you.

 

As someone else said. She made her bed, let her lay in it. I guess she will hopefully learn the hard way. You deserve to be happy and this obviously is NOT helping that situation.

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i agree..thats y i didnt give her money..i told her that i was also codepedent on her for certain things (emotional support, companionship, etc) and that went out the window when she broke it off.

 

i feel bad cuz ive been there for 9 years..i know the stresses shes been through and have always helped..adn i know she has no1..and i still care for her as a person and its killing me to put her through this pain (even though she put me through tremendous pain)

 

i dont want her hating me either for some reason..im soo stressed

 

i could have taken the easy road and give her the money but i feel like it woudl be going back to my pathetic days of when teh break up first happened

 

funny thing was she has been talkin bout gettin back tog for the last few days...i prob blew any chance of that but i couldnt open myself up again..maybe that was all a game (it seemed really genuine tho)

 

ugh

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"i feel bad cuz ive been there for 9 years..i know the stresses shes been through and have always helped..adn i know she has no1..and i still care for her as a person and its killing me to put her through this pain (even though she put me through tremendous pain)"

 

Right man, but you are not putting her threw pain. I mean she took everything you did for her with a grain of salt.

 

Don't worry about her hating you. Don't worry about giving her money. Heck don't worry about getting back together. Worry about making yourself happy! Which again seems like a slow process with her hanging around.

 

Honestly and I hate to say this cause this whole time I think I've been preaching second chances. If she came back right now you would have to be REALLY careful. I mean it seems like she might come back because she feels she NEEDS you, not because she loves and wants to be with you. I think you have to let her be on her own for a bit and she will figure out what is really important to her.

 

In this time you will also have a clearer head also and find out what is important to YOU.

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