Inviting a girl to a Wedding - Advice needed

[Godwin]

Probably best for UK members to answer this but all thoughts appreciated:

 

I am going to a wedding in middle of September, I have been invited ALL day but the groom said I could invite a girl for the evening reception.

 

I am going on a second date with a girl on Wednesday and then a third date next week. I really like this girl and was going to ask towards the end of the third date if she would like to come through to that wedding in the evening.

 

She would be able to meet my friends and its a slight step up the 'bonding' ladder.

 

Do you think its too soon to ask her? I am on holiday the two weeks leading up to the wedding so wont be able to see her much before it.

[Parsley]

I guess it depends on how the dates have been going? Do they lead you to believe that this is leading a relationship? Has she already appeared open to the idea of meeting friends? I think that just going to the evening reception will be a lot less intimidating than the whole day would be, and if it's just friends rather than your family, I would say go for it!

 

I've got to ask though....what about that question is only answerable by people from the UK?

[Yodabell]

I'm in the UK too...tricky question. I don't have a yes or no answer for you, but I can tell you my experience (of only a week ago!).

 

I was seeing a guy for a month, and asked him to a friend's wedding - only to the party after in the evening as well. He didn't want to go, but made a couple of excuses. I interpreted that as lack of interest and it all ended last week. In hindsight, I think he felt it was a bit overwhelming being asked to a wedding. And I took it way too personally that he didn't want to go. Now that I've put myself in his position, I probably would have said no as well.

 

So by all means ask her - but be prepared for her to say no. And accept her reply and don't take it as that she doesn't like you, just that she's maybe not ready to go to a wedding yet with you.

[Godwin]

I guess it depends on how the dates have been going? Do they lead you to believe that this is leading a relationship? Has she already appeared open to the idea of meeting friends? I think that just going to the evening reception will be a lot less intimidating than the whole day would be, and if it's just friends rather than your family, I would say go for it!

 

I've got to ask though....what about that question is only answerable by people from the UK?

 

I specified UK people because I was under the impression Weddings in the US are all weekend affairs(American Pie, Weddin Crashers etc) and culturally different. Everyone is welcome to comment though, the more the merrier

 

In answer to your queries, its friends only, NONE of my family will be attending. The first date went great and we spent the night together so I am reasonably comfortable in her company.

 

Yodabell:

 

I may ask her if she thinks its suitable to ask her, rather than asking her directly to come, that way I wont be hurt.

[Parsley]

Ah I see, thanks

 

What do you think she'll say? Do you feel positive about it? I tend to find that most posters know exactly what they're going to do while they post...so I reckon you know whether or not you'll ask her, and that will be because you have an inkling what she'd say. Sometimes you just gotta go from the gut! If you're worried about her being worried that it's in at the deep end, you just have to make sure when you ask her you it's clear that this isn't you scoping out prospective venues for your own wedding.

[george237]

Are you sure you want to bring her? She will not know anybody there so you will have to be by her side the entire night.

[Godwin]

Ah I see, thanks

 

What do you think she'll say? Do you feel positive about it? I tend to find that most posters know exactly what they're going to do while they post...so I reckon you know whether or not you'll ask her, and that will be because you have an inkling what she'd say. Sometimes you just gotta go from the gut! If you're worried about her being worried that it's in at the deep end, you just have to make sure when you ask her you it's clear that this isn't you scoping out prospective venues for your own wedding.

 

I guess I have got another two dates to judge what her reaction would be. I genuinely would like her to come but I am not sure if it's too soon or not???

 

I will play it by ear though, IF we are getting on well then I will ask, if she is stand-offish or distant then I will hold off.

 

Asking her also gives US both something to focus on whilst I am away on holiday!

 

george237:

 

I will have all day to mingle so will be fun to spend time with her and for her to meet my friends.

[annie24]

if you feel you are ready for this step, go for it! an evening affair sounds nice, it sounds like fun. good luck

[george237]

I personaly wouldn't bring anyone that hasn't already met my friends and family. This way if I want to catch up with somebody I don't have to worry about her sitting there by herself.

[Godwin]

I personaly wouldn't bring anyone that hasn't already met my friends and family. This way if I want to catch up with somebody I don't have to worry about her sitting there by herself.

 

Its a good chance for her to meet ALL my friends, better perhaps than dribs and drabs over time.

 

Will let you know how it goes!

[amipushy]

One date and you're already thinking of inviting her to a wedding? Slow down Godwin.

[Godwin]

One date and you're already thinking of inviting her to a wedding? Slow down Godwin.

 

Thats why I am asking the question, is it a big deal? Its only an eveneing reception, basically a disco and a few drinks.

 

Surely the fact I slept in the same bed as her and she is coming to stay on Wednesday is a bigger deal?

 

Dating is SO complex, too many rules.

[george237]

I am just looking at it from her perspective. If a girl I just started dating asked me to go to a wedding I would probably decline. Reason being I don't know you all that well and there is no escape root. Also if you decided to hang out with your friends and family I am stuck there talking to myself.

 

Doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful time but that's the kind of stuff that would be running through my head.

[amipushy]

Thats why I am asking the question, is it a big deal? Its only an eveneing reception, basically a disco and a few drinks.

 

Surely the fact I slept in the same bed as her and she is coming to stay on Wednesday is a bigger deal?

 

Dating is SO complex, too many rules.

 

Make sure she knows its only a disco and a few drinks because I would be thinking "OMG he wants me to meet his family already." ..Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing depending on how I felt about the guy I suppose.

 

Don't be offended if she says no its a bit soon is the best advice I can give you.

[Godwin]

Make sure she knows its only a disco and a few drinks because I would be thinking "OMG he wants me to meet his family already." ..Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing depending on how I felt about the guy I suppose.

 

Don't be offended if she says no its a bit soon is the best advice I can give you.

 

Hey, no am not offended, I appreciate the advice. My family WONT be there, its a friend from school

 

I may hold off asking her actually. Will see how Wednesday goes and the date the week after.