Update on me and "my crush"

[guy0680]

Things are going well with me and him, we are becoming pretty good friends, although I am still absolutely crazy about him. He is still seeing his boyfriend, whom he is very smitten with, has hindered our friendship somewhat due to the fact that he is usually hanging out with him alone (aka having sex, which they do 24/7 more or less ha).

 

We have talked about the "Game" we had had before about trying to get the other to "slip up" and out themselves. He told me that he totally knew what I was trying to do but he "wasn't going to let me get him" (with a smile).

 

Every attempt he has made in the past to make friends with a fellow gay guy has lead to them breaking down, declaring their love for him and getting stalkerish. He has told me on numerous occasions that he is glad that I have been able to deal with my feelings (not in the same words but you guys get the idea) and make the friendship work....he quickly changes the subject though, he doesn't really like to talk about me liking him, I think it makes him uncomfortable?

 

He told me today that he couldn't believe that we had only known each other for 6? months and that I have become a "part of his life" as he doesn't let that many people "in". We are so cute IMO, we try to schedule our shifts together, take lunches together, will share food/drinks and etc.. How its not rumored throughout our work that we aren't together I have no idea (and I would know I am a Gossip * * * * * )

 

There are some things he does that I don't understand, which some of the things lead me to believe (although they are probably my illusions or overthinking haha)

1. There is another guy at our work that I think is hot, I've told him that, and he immediately trashed the guys looks and has taken a disliking for him...and will say things like "Oh look its your BOYFRIEND." and has told me to not waste my time because hes not gay...(I just think hes hot, I just like to stare at him at work for eye candy haha)

 

I'm taking that situation about him being jealous haha...I'm thinking about next time he brings him up to be like "Its okay, I know, your just jealous, but don't worry...your still my #1 here (or something along the lines)"...what do you guys think??

 

2. I consider myself bisexual...I think guys and girls are attractive (moreso guys)....something that he completely disagrees with and tries to explain to me that I'm really not bi...just gay...and explains to me why I find certain girls attractive haha....I see this as another sign of him wanting me to be into guys/him..and not girls too??

 

3. I told him a while ago about how I think that I'll end up being a bottom because of my personality and etc.....hes a top and is completely into the idea of me being a bottom. He doesn't entertain the idea of me being a top at all haha...I think this is because hes a top and wants me to be a bottom...if he didn't think that he would EVER sleep with me would he be so against me being a top?? What do you guys think??

[Imaginary]

1. There is another guy at our work that I think is hot, I've told him that, and he immediately trashed the guys looks and has taken a disliking for him...and will say things like "Oh look its your BOYFRIEND." and has told me to not waste my time because hes not gay...(I just think hes hot, I just like to stare at him at work for eye candy haha)

 

I'm taking that situation about him being jealous haha...I'm thinking about next time he brings him up to be like "Its okay, I know, your just jealous, but don't worry...your still my #1 here (or something along the lines)"...what do you guys think??

 

No... make another joke, but don't say something like that, because as he said, he's had friendships that ended because the other guy had feelings and he's uncomfortable with that. Think of something else...

 

2. I consider myself bisexual...I think guys and girls are attractive (moreso guys)....something that he completely disagrees with and tries to explain to me that I'm really not bi...just gay...and explains to me why I find certain girls attractive haha....I see this as another sign of him wanting me to be into guys/him..and not girls too??

 

Well, or he could be one of them people that doesn't think bisexuality exists (he'd be wrong though) or is just positive you're gay from listening to you talk or something like that.

 

3. I told him a while ago about how I think that I'll end up being a bottom because of my personality and etc.....hes a top and is completely into the idea of me being a bottom. He doesn't entertain the idea of me being a top at all haha...I think this is because hes a top and wants me to be a bottom...if he didn't think that he would EVER sleep with me would he be so against me being a top?? What do you guys think??

 

 

I dunno what to think there... what do you mean with "he doesn't entertain the idea of me being a top at all"? Maybe it's just easier for him to picture you as a bottom or something?

[pianoguy]

Sounds like things are going well. Be careful about getting too infatuated with him too early on- it's possible he might be seeing this guy for a while and you don't want to close yourself off to other possibilities. That other guy you think is hot- is he gay?

 

Also be careful about getting "friend-zoned." That comment "part of my life" is kind of a red flag to me.

 

I think some authentically gay guys don't understand bisexuality, so I wouldn't worry about that. This is true for me- I'm gay, my ex said he was bi, but I had trouble believing him. I don't think it means much, I wouldn't think about it.

[lukeb]

It doesnt sound like things are going well at all, by the sounds of it you're torturing yourself and pining over something you can't have. To me, you're setting yourself up for some difficult emotions and feelings that can only get worse.