Am I too oblivious for my own good?

[Carmine]

So in these dog days of summer I've adopted an "I don't give a crap" attitude. Nothing really seems to bother me. I have bad days at work where my co-workers and managers tend to gang up on me and pin problems and blame on me, but I don't really care about them. Lately I've been doing what that guy in Office Space does: I just don't show up after my bosses give me too much * * * * . It hasn't gotten me fired or yelled at yet, in fact, it makes me feel so much better when I stand up to my bosses, especially when they submit just to avoid confrontation.

 

Today, for example, I was supposed to work, but after a long and very rough day yesterday, I decided I needed to relax a bit. My boss called and asked where I was, and I just told him, "I can't come in today...try ****, I think she wants to work." He just hesitated and said, "alright..." Instead I went out to the bookstore and cafe in the mall. So many tools and barbie dolls there roaming around the mall on the weekend, but I didn't care...just read my music magazine and sipped my iced coffee.

 

Thing is, whenever I'm in this kind of state, I have this gut feeling that more girls are paying attention to me, but I'm so much in my own world that I don't even notice. Now and then I'll get such a blatantly obvious signal from a girl that it makes me notice her, but at the time I'm so oblivious that I assume no one is paying attention to me at all. It isn't until later that I realize, "hey, I think that girl was checking me out." I also wear headphones very often and sometimes I'll really get into my music and react to it with facial expressions or lip-sync it. Is this a tell-tale sign that I'm in my own world and not paying attention to ANYTHING?

 

I also find that when I'm with another guy...a particular one, actually, who's very shy and reserved but an amazing catch to a girl in every way possible (my roommate for next year and probably my future best friend)...we attracted A LOT more female attention. The thing is he's too shy to act and I'm usually too oblivious to notice. Example - when we went to see the Dark Knight a few weeks ago, these two beautiful girls first sat about 5 seats down from us. When they came into our row they said something to us...I have no idea what they said but I remember it as being kinda flirty and personal, especially toward my friend. A minute later they moved from 5 seats away to only 1 seat away with us. They had their cell phones out texting but I'm pretty sure they kept looking at us. Then they said something indirectly about my friend, loud enough so we could hear it, and then looked over at us and smiled. My friend looked at them but was too shy to say something, and I was too busy making fun of Ben Affleck in some preview.

 

It wasn't until later I realized those girls were so into us, or at least my friend. Later I said to him, "Hey Rich, remember those two girls sitting next to us?"

 

He says, "Yup..."

 

"You think they were cute?"

 

He smiles a bit, blushes, and nods.

 

I say, "Hmm...yeahhhh...I think they wanted us to like, talk to them. What do you think?"

 

He shrugs. There's a few seconds of silence, until I say, "Let's go to Fuddruckers."

 

"Ok."

 

Well, there you go...two clueless guys just making it through life. Maybe not totally clueless...we both want to date and we both make attempts, but it seems like we're too laid back to even notice all the girls who are into us...lol, a bit of irony there.

 

So, that's my thread. I'm not really sure what I'm asking...I guess the title of the thread sums it up pretty well. For people who know me here on ENA, I'm wondering if it's possible that I can be that oblivious when girls are giving me signs of interest.

[Clementine orange]

I the "I don't give a crap" attitude. In my experience, that's when life starts to get really exciting...for better or for worse.

[civilservant]

First off (and I know this isn't the point of the post, but) you can't be that way to your employer. It might fly at 18, but when you get older youll see that if you don't pull your weight youll be out. As a former store deputy manager I can tell you I once fired someone on the stop who didnt turn up.

 

Moving on from the lecture, it seems that you certainly attract attention, but despite you assertions to the contrey you simply aren't interested. I say this because if you were you wouldnt withdraw into yourself. Its a fact that mos women want to be chased, and if they give you a signal and you do nothing they'll assume you aren't into them and move on.

 

You need to take the intiative, you're obviously intelligent and articulate, you only perhaps lack confidence. This can only be won through practice!

[Carmine]

First off (and I know this isn't the point of the post, but) you can't be that way to your employer. It might fly at 18, but when you get older youll see that if you don't pull your weight youll be out. As a former store deputy manager I can tell you I once fired someone on the stop who didnt turn up.

 

Believe me dude, I'm not a flake. I started this job working my ass off and trying to establish a good rep for myself, like every other job or work I've done. Then I realized how much of a joke the job actually was. You wouldn't believe the number of scandalous and possibly illegal things done in that place. What's worse is I got very little credit for the hard work I did, in fact whenever something bad happened they were quick to pin it on me when I had little to do with it. Eventually I found myself only working hard for myself and the other handful of decent people working there.

 

Of course I'm not going to do it when I have a real job that I actually like. I do it now because the place is such a joke and people get away with doing things a lot worse than taking off. Making fun out of it is the only way I enjoy it. Even if I get fired, big deal, it's a crap job anyway.

 

Before I got into the restaurant business, I worked for my uncle as a farmhand on his horse farm. I have great respect and admiration for my uncle, and I showed it with every piece of horse dung I shoveled.

[civilservant]

Then if I was in my format job (benefit advisor, career guidance) I'd be telling you to go and find something you enjoy and feel appreciated in. Lifes too short too waste being unhappy where you work, especially at 18

[Clementine orange]

"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "that you're free to do anything." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 8

 

ps: Carmine, I really like that last paragraph you just added.

[Carmine]

Then if I was in my format job (benefit advisor, career guidance) I'd be telling you to go and find something you enjoy and feel appreciated in. Lifes too short too waste being unhappy where you work, especially at 18

 

Well, that's the thing though, I'm not that unhappy about it. First off, I'm making good money for an 18 year old doing what I'm doing. Secondly, it gives me something to laugh at and subtly entertain myself. I'll subtly screw with people who complain about everything and tip badly because it keeps me sane and light-hearted. Then it feels like a miracle when good people sit at one of my tables. It shows me that there are actually happy people out there who don't hate their lives and bring everyone else down around them because they're unhappy. One good table will cancel out ten horrible tables...they just make me that much happier.

 

Next summer I'll probably go out to San Fransisco to work in my cousin's genetics lab experimenting with worms and dna. Now THAT is a real job where I don't need to fabricate games and ploys to enjoy it.

[Carmine]

from your posts it sounds like you encounter girls who would be interested in you, but there is something holding you back. so maybe you just haven't found your type.

 

you could have talked to those girls in the movie theatre and you knew that, but chose not to.

 

It's a combination of a few things, I think. Plain ol' shyness, for one. I'm pretty confident but sometimes I have trouble knowing what to say or what to talk about. Then there's indifference...I find a lot of girls to be attractive but they don't have to do much to kill that attraction. I usually find myself thinking, "Well, this girl is cute, but she gives me the vibe that she's a moron or a typical valley girl. I guess I could just go for a fling...meh...is it even worth it?"