Social proofing with beta males versus alpha males, an analysis

[Imprecision]

NOTE: As several posters, including Le Dhuy Nhut and Rising, have pointed out - I'm not posting here for advice. I'm posting for fun. But some people message me saying that my posts are interesting. If a few people enjoy my posts, then I'm happy. I hope that even if you disagree with my posts, you find them interesting.

 

Content

 

Social Proofing

Group Theory

Why you should social proof with alpha males rather than beta males

 

Social Proofing

 

Social proofing is a pick-up concept. Let's say you enter a bar. You sit alone in the corner drinking beer. Your perceived social value falls. This makes picking up women a lot harder.

 

By contrast, if you talk to everyone in the bar, including both friends and strangers, then your social value rises, because people see that you're having fun. You can also social-proof yourself by bringing female friends, because women will think, "Other women approve of this guy. He must be all right."

 

Group Theory

 

Most pick-up artists say that it's easier to pick women up in groups. My experience verifies this.

 

In a mixed group of guys and girls, you should approach the guys first. In a group of girls, you should approach the dominant female first. This leads to my thesis below.

 

Why you should social proof with alpha males rather than beta males

 

A while ago, I hosted a party. I wanted to invite people from my university courses, some of whom I did not know well. Because I didn't know the people well, I made an effort to network before the party. In particular, there was a group of guys who sat in the corner of one of my classes. I wanted them to attend my party.

 

There were five guys in that group. I made friends with four of them. Two of them were strongly supportive of my party plan. Two of them were on the fence. Right before I announced my party to the class, I approached their table to confirm their support for my party. Unexpectedly, when I spoke with the last guy - the guy I haven't spoken with yet - he was ambivalent. His words were civil, but we both understood he would not attend. One of the other guys remained supportive. The other three withdrew their support.

 

The party went ahead. I had fun. Unfortunately, none of the five guys showed up. I understood what I did wrong. I tried to social proof my party with beta males. I should have talked with the last guy - the alpha male - first. If he accepted my invitation, then the remaining four guys would have accept, too.

 

To succeed socially, you must first gain the respect of the alpha males. Don't lead. Don't follow. Simply establish mutual respect. When you and other alpha males respect each other, then all else follows.

 

Indeed, to conspire with beta males without the approval of alpha males of the same group is bad form. It is a threat. Alpha males often feel insecure like everyone else. You'll provoke hostility if you infringe on their territory without their permission.

 

Dating and pick-up concepts are far more versatile than people imagine. The above is also why during pick-ups, the friend of the girl obstructs your advances. Her group is threatened. You should have identified the dominant female and approached her first. If she approves of you, then the whole group will approve of you.

 

If you pay attention, you'll see the many hidden rules of social interactions.

[allypally]

So is your University degree bachelors thesis in "Social Poofing"?

 

Wow, university students must have a LOT of time on their hands .....

[Imprecision]

Unfortunately, no - but I'm sure there are enough subtleties to human social hierarchical behaviour to justify many, many theses.

[livefree]

Oh the theories. Just live.

[Clarity]

How about just hanging out with people you enjoy the company of, rather than worrying about whether they are "alpha" or "beta" males?

 

Seems pretentious to decide who to hang out with based on what other people will think of you...

[Clementine orange]

What about omega male, he refuses labels, lives by his own rules, doesn't over analyse things, isn't a pushover but isn't rude either.

Goes to a party if he wants to and if he's invited but doesn't think twice if he isn't.

Omega male is secure within his own skin.

[bijoux27]

I've read about things like this before. Good way of simplifying it on a situation-basis for the eNA'ers.

I'm majoring in sociology btw.

[bijoux27]

How about just hanging out with people you enjoy the company of, rather than worrying about whether they are "alpha" or "beta" males?

 

Seems pretentious to decide who to hang out with based on what other people will think of you...

 

I don't think that was his point...it seemed like he found a way to increase his chances of getting groups of people to agree with him.

[itsallgrand]

What about omega male, he refuses labels, lives by his own rules, doesn't over analyse things, isn't a pushover but isn't rude either.

Goes to a party if he wants to and if he's invited but doesn't think twice if he isn't.

Omega male is secure within his own skin.

 

Oh I'm a sucker for that.

 

Alpha male, get the hell out of my way!! *push*

[allypally]

"The party went ahead. I had fun. Unfortunately, none of the five guys showed up."

 

 

Ah but the experiment didn't work.

 

I think that the style of approach this guy has with regards social interactions warrants some time spent in a lab-based environment.

[Imprecision]

There's a happy ending to the story: I made friends with the alpha male of the group after the course ended. We bonded over German philosophers, Mennonism, and plumbing.

 

What about omega male, he refuses labels, lives by his own rules, doesn't over analyse things, isn't a pushover but isn't rude either.

Goes to a party if he wants to and if he's invited but doesn't think twice if he isn't.

Omega male is secure within his own skin.

 

I would call that an alpha male.

 

I agree with you in part - we should live and enjoy life by our own rules. Know what you want, then get it.

 

Nevertheless, social competence, like eloquence and manners, comes from practice. If you want a good life, then you need friends and allies. Let's say your passion is music. You're a genius at the guitars. But if you don't know anyone, you won't get anywhere. That's fine if you play music for yourself. But if you want renown, wealth, or even just the simple joy of paying the bills with your music - then you need friends and allies in the business.

 

The same goes for fashion, poetry, art, political consultancy, etc. Most human endeavours require friends and allies.

 

I want to be a translator and a writer. Both in Vancouver and China, I encountered many opportunities to get published. I squandered many opportunities - simply because I was not socially-wise. I don't regret my mistakes - they were learning experiences. But I must learn from them.

 

A fool is someone who doesn't learn from mistakes.

 

Bijoux,

 

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you're having fun studying sociology. I wish we could discourse on it at length. Unfortunately, I'm a complete outsider to this science. I know a bit about sociolinguistics, but that's it.

[Carmine]

But if you want renown, wealth, or even just the simple joy of paying the bills with your music - then you need friends and allies in the business.

 

Actually...

 

The best modern musicians of all time were secluded loners who had no friends or allies. Others did not make them...they made themselves. They were so unique and original that everyone became entranced by their music, emotion, and soul.

 

The more you rely on others, the more you compromise the integrity of your work.

[Imprecision]

The best modern musicians of all time were secluded loners who had no friends or allies. Others did not make them...they made themselves. They were so unique and original that everyone became entranced by their music, emotion, and soul.

 

Not true. There are always exceptions, of course.

 

There are too many people who want to be musicians. A lot of these people are talented - no less talented than anyone else. The overabundance of talented musicians lowers the negotiating power of each individual musician.

 

Generally, if you don't have friends and allies, you can't find even a single gig. Sometimes, opportunities come once in a life time. You don't want to squander it by social incompetence.

 

But music is off-topic. Maybe I'm completely off the mark. For my chosen path and career, at least, friends and allies are important. I would love to tell my anecdotes illustrating my point, but these anecdotes would bore everyone.

[LanceVanceDance]

Let's say your passion is music. You're a genius at the guitars. But if you don't know anyone, you won't get anywhere. That's fine if you play music for yourself. But if you want renown, wealth, or even just the simple joy of paying the bills with your music - then you need friends and allies in the business.

 

This is off topic so I'll get it out of the way right ahead and then move on to the rest of your post. Your statement is too broad. Prince, for example, has at times released albums which he produced himself and on which he sings and plays all the instruments. He also released some albums without the aid of a record label.

 

As far as your original theory goes, I think you are correct to a point, but I think the better alternative is to become more alpha yourself rather than try to get allies in the hope they will validate you.

 

Although I normally don't go out alone, I have done it a couple of times. One of these times I was, as you say in your example, sitting alone and drinking beer. Then a pretty girl spontaneously came to talk to me and started flirting. The thing is I wasn't moping and looking like I was desperately needing to talk to someone, I was smiling and giving eye contact, being content just being with myself, and it showed that I was comfortable. So in this case I was by myself but I also validated myself socially, I didn't need someone to do it for me.

[mintblossom]

so who's the alpha male of the posters here? and who are the beta males?

 

so who should i be falling behind and nodding my head to? all these unspoken rules that i have never known about or obeyed! imagine that.

 

life was easier when all we had to do was thump our chests, swing from jungle vines, and pick our teeth with branches. sigh. those were the days.