civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I went out last night with an ex-work coleage, and was throughly enjoying myself. He knows my ex (obviously, since we all worked together) He had popped off to the toilet just for a few minutes and when he came back he told me he had someone who wanted to speak to me on the phone. I was alittle surprised, since other than the people we work/worked with we don't really have any mutual friends. So of course I took the phone off him and said hello. Who was it?... The Ex!! It seems that he and her and contrived to get me to talk to her, since I've been ignoring her calls and didging messages etc. I didn't have it in me to put the phone down (I'm not that type of bloke, and don't do that to people) so I took the call outside and spoke to her. It was really pleasant. Have you ever had a connection with someone, something that, even whatever has happened between you, still is just so natural? That returned. We've always had phone chemistry, and have spoke for hours on end when we were together (when for whatever reason we couldn't be in the same place face-to-face) It just felt so 'right', it was almost as if nothing had happened between us, the laughter returned with us ribbing each other as we used to. She asked how I was, how the new job was going, how things were with my parents, and of course I did the same. No one knows that her dad has got osopegial (throat (sp?)) cancer outside her family, but she felt comfertable enough with me to tell me striaght away. I don't know what it is, but time just vanishes when talking to her, and before I knew it I'd been on the phone for an hour (I knew because the bloke I was with came out to say my pint was getting warm It was good to catch up, because there isn't any malice on my part (or hers from what she said) and in the end we arranged to get together for a drink and a catch up next bank holiday monday. We left it as I'd call her and let her know what time I'm free. I came off the phone feeling really good, but I'm still not sure. I feel kind of anoyed that my friend would have done that to me, because it was (obviously) pre-planned, but more than that I'm not sure if I should be seeing her again. My mate in fact laid down a bet that we'd end up sleeping together on monday (£100?!?!) and while I'm 100% certain that won't happen on my end I can't help but think that perhaps she needs some comfort at the moment because of her dad and she's seeking solice with someone she knows won't judge, and won't place demands on her. I don't know if I'm even asking a question here as much as rambaling, but if anyone does have an opinion I'd love to hear it. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yeah, don't sleep with her if you don't want anything...just out of respect, I'd say. She still has feelings, obviously and wants you to help her with the pain of what she's going through with her father. Basically, she's vulnerable right now and wanted someone who was familiar that she trusted...but you guys are broken up. Side note, it also takes a LOT to get another guy to do what the friend did so I'm pretty amazed at this woman...I don't know many women who can pull that kind of thing. Link to comment
civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 I'm more than happy to be someone she leans on, I do care about her and don't want to see her upset. I've also been through it with my Gran (who didn't survive, and she knows that) so it's also possibley partly experiance that she wants. I'm not going to sleep with her, because although she might enjoy it at the time I think in the end she'd regret it (just to note, I really don't want too either) What do you mean by it takes alot Gratsy? In terms of convincing them to turn on you? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Just that men aren't usually willing to, yeah, turn on other men that way. Link to comment
civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Just shows who are really your friends dosen't it? Especially seeing as he knows how broken up I've been over her. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I don't know...I wouldn't blame the guy too much...I think that its not about something ethical...more about how convincing your ex was. In any case, you sound like a sweet guy. I think you're going to be perfectly fine no matter what happens. Link to comment
civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Oh she can be very convincing, if he wasn't gay I'd be wondering what she did to pursuade him.... Thanks for the kind words though GRatsy. Any other thoughts? Link to comment
civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Anyone?? Always value you guys points of view Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 What else do you want to know? Do you want to hook up with her? Do you want to know her intentions/motivations? Link to comment
civilservant Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 I've got to admit, the motivations are a mystery. After all the reasons we broke up are all still valid, which most of all were because I found her emotionally unavalible. I want to be a friend, and am happy to be lent upon, but I don't want to fall back into sleeping together because I respect her more than that. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 It sounds like you've already set your position. I think you have a good head on your shoulders-- you don't really need any help. Link to comment
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