jojesse Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I dont know what is wrong with me. He was my first love. It ended 5 years ago, and last night I woke up in the middle of the night with the realization that I will always love him. It hurts so much to think that we will never be together again, like a part of my soul is slowly dying, has been dying since the say we broke up. We have remained friends until recently when we had a major fallout, because of my own doing. I don't know what got into me, but i think subconsciously i just wanted to give him a reason to stop talking to me because I couldn't do it myself and it just hurt too much to be friends anymore. I don't know what to do. I am so confused because just as i am beginning to feel like I have finally gotten over the pain and hurt he caused me during the relationship, I come to the realization that I still love him so dearly. To me, he will always be amazing and incredible. I feel like no man can ever match up to how he made me feel, or ever have more meaning to me. I feel a deep regret over how our relationship ended, even though I have tried to convince myself otherwise. i don't know what to do with this love i have for him. I feel like I am condemning myself to be single forever. I dont want to keep living in the past and yet i dont know how to move forward. I dont know if it is normal to feel like this, to love like this. Even though he is not perfect and there are objective traits he does not have that I would want in a perfect man, I still think there is no other person I will ever love...I still feel like he is the one. I would really appreciate any advice or insight, especially from people who have gone through the the pain of losing a great love. Thanks. Link to comment
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