anggrace Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I am recently and very happily engaged. People immediately started saying or asking things like, "when's the wedding?" and "I can't wait to hear the wedding plans!" So I started going through the motions, picking out the colors, the place, who will come, and on and on and..... I've come to the conclusion that I really don't care about any of that. And to be honest, an entire day where all the attention is on me sounds like a nightmare. It's likely I will be eager for it to be over shortly after it starts. Im sure for many people it's a great experience, but I just don't feel like it's for me. I have no pressure from anyone to do anything in particular and am thinking of doing this... Going to the court house and sealing the deal, going straight to the airport and getting on a plane to Ireland, then coming home and having a big party with all of our friends and family. THAT is my idea of a great way to celebrate a marriage. My only concern is that I might regret not having a wedding one day. Any thoughts welcome or feel free to share your wedding experiences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeen Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 anggrrace. If I have to get married again I'll do it the way you are thinking. Believe me mine was not bad but it takes a lot of effort, when "I think" I really don't see any point in it, it is a lot of money, I didn't know half the people that was there and I don't think I've ever seen them again. My wedding photo's didn't come out great, if I look at my wedding dress today in the photo's I don't like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jengh Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 i don't know, I guess I'm on the fence with this one... It's not about the big fancy party, the food, the gifts...it's about a life-long (hopefully) commitment and spending your lives together. What you described (the courthouse, the vacation, the party after) sounds absolutely perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelina Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I know how you feel. It scares me thinking about being the center of attention. I don't like the big wedding idea either. I'm not looking forward to the actual wedding but I am looking forward to being married. I would do something like what you want to do, but in my family and my bf's family weddings are a big thing. I feel like the big overly emotional weddings are really cheesy idk maybe I'm weird.I feel like if in my family if you don't get married and have a big wedding then your rushing into marriage, people will prob. assume that I'm pregnant. Well I hope everything goes well for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Have a wedding-moon/destination wedding. This link caters more toward beach weddings, but you can have one anywhere. link removed you get the best of both worlds--you get your ceremony and you get your honeymoon. The people who can attend the ceremony are only those who can afford it. Then when you come back, have a party with those who couldn't come. That's what I'm doing (when the right guy comes along of course!). I don't want all the attention on me with a lot of people I rarely see. I want something small, intimate, and fun where I can spend tiem with those closest to me and my new husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crush85 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I wish more women were like you. Some women really go overboard with the wedding stuff. I love the idea of getting married first, having a little honeymoon, then celebrating afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 If it wasn't for the fact that doing it that way would greatly disappoint our respective families (and even a little, my fiance, who wants some sort of wedding celebration at the time we tie the knot) I'd do it that way too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks for the replies. I guess all I have to do now is bring it up with my fiance. Last he knew, I was still planning the wedding. He's told me he'd be okay with ANYthing I wanted to do and we've touched on the idea of not having a traditional wedding, but Im still a little worried that he might be disapointed. I guess we'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I wouldn't worry about being disappointed one day and I would be very clear about what you want and what makes you happy/comfortable -- while still taking into account what your fiancee wants. I am a bit biased because, like you, i find most large wedding receptions with all the focus on the (to me boring) minutae of bridesmaid dresses, themes, flowers etc kind of fake and an unnecessary expenditure of money. Again though that's just my personal opinion (I planned a wedding once, although we didn't get married and I found most of the experience with industry people fairly distasteful and boring). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 This is about you and what you want and feel comfortable with. If going to the courthouse and then celebrating later with friends is what you want than go for it! In the end you will be just as married as those of us who are having a big party the day of the wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Yes it has to be about you and your fiance. I think you cans till have a day of celebration without all the "big party" planning or I do know some people who did exactly what you are planning and that was a great way to go too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 "In the end you will be just as married as those of us who are having a big party the day of the wedding." Yeah, this is true. I think it's just as much about him as it is about me though. We might have to meet in the middle, which I am very okay with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikerc4 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 when i got married all i said to myself was this is our day and im going to enjoy myself and thats what i did oh good idea coming to ireland thats where im from but dont expect good weather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 What's the weather like? I always imagined it to be cool and overcast (which I like) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I agree it can't be about just you, that's not what I meant. I meant it's about the both of you and what you are comfortable with. My fiance and I have been together almost 6 years and living together for over 5 years,and are getting married in less than 7 weeks (!!) When we first got engaged I wanted to elope to Hawaii and marry just the two of us. I figured, we have been together so long, let's not make a big deal out of the wedding itself. He is from a big Irish Catholic family and he wanted a ceremony in a church with our families. He knew his family would be devastated if they weren't included. I thought about it and I decided I wouldn't want my parents and family to miss us getting married either. Now, the party has grown and grown (190 guests invited- invites are out and RSVP's are coming in). Although this isn't how I initially pictured our wedding, I am excited and happy that the people we love and that have followed us on our journey together are going to be with us on our big day. I know this big ceremony and party isn't what is going to make our marriage good, so I'm going to enjoy it for what it is and in a few short hours it will be over and it'll be just my new husband and I.... married, happy, and on vacation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikerc4 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 it rains all the time we have floods and everything hey thanks for replying i have only joined Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 Hope- You must be get really excited! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 it rains all the time we have floods and everything hey thanks for replying i have only joined Welcome to the site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikerc4 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 thanks ill be on again tomor its2.25am so i better head to bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsley Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I think Hope made a extremely valid point. Originally, marriage joined two families in a sort of business sense, now if you're lucky your families will be joined into one big family. While the day is about the two of you making this amazing commitment to each other, it will also signify a start to a new family for everyone. Definitely something to ponder on. Whilst I don't think you should go for the whole shebang just because of tradition, I do think a good party with everyone you know can only be a good thing. It doesn't have to be massively expensive, I just saw on the bbc the other day about a couple who got married for £480 total (wedding dress, suit hire, rings, food, marquee...everything). Maybe you could have a quiet private ceremony with just the two of you, and then later that day or another day have a big informal family get together to celebrate. Everyone in their jeans etc. For me, being able to celebrate with family and friends is amazing. Whenever I have my little daydreams about getting married to my boyfriend, part of the thing I like picturing most is on the wedding day dancing with everyone and being happy that they're there to share our happiness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Hope- You must be get really excited! It is now finally starting to kick in, and yes, we're very excited! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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