Today starts day 1 of 5 weeks without him...

[Rose21]

So last night was the last time I will see my boyfriend for 5 weeks. We went out to a nice dinner, he picked up my ring from Zales (it had just finished getting sized) And we relaxed and were extra lovey at my house before he had to leave.

 

He left at 6 am this morning to drive to Lubbock, TX with his family to un pack and get ready for school and everything. He's starting a new chapter, while I am too, but me and his family and all of his friends are stuck 5 hrs away behind him in TX.

 

I was getting all emotional and dreading this day. And he said he loves me so much, and asked if I did, and I told him of course I did, and he said I have NOTHING to worry about. That 5 weeks isn't really that long, and when I start college too, and my new job and hang out with my friends and meet new people I'm going to be SO busy and the time is going to fly by quickly. He assured me that I will see him soon, and we will talk on the phone and text every single day, and I need to be strong for him. I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. That he loves me and no one could ever take my place, I am the only girl in his eyes. And that I know is true, and he is the only in my eyes. Infact, members of the opposite sex for both of us really annoy us. And we have vowed to not hang out with any one on one or get any form of phone numbers or anything. That was also his boundry he set for himself because he didn't think that was right.

 

But yeah, I want to be strong but I am going to miss him SOO much. He said that my problem is, that I think the more time a couple spends apart the more the GROW apart and the more the emotional connection between them diminishes and their relationship totaly changes. How can I get out of that mindset?

 

I mean, my 5 weeks seem so measly. One friends doing 8 weeks, the other 12, the other 4 months, and the other 15 MONTHS. She says she loves him so much and she can't wait til he's done with the Army. Last night was the 1st time she had even HEARD from him in 10 DAYS. I don't know how she does it. But she is so strong and I want that courage.

 

What can I do for those 5 weeks to keep myself busy and not be so lonely and down all the time? The last weekend of September is when I will see him. I already made the reservations. Me and 3 or 4 of my friends will be going down there and staying in the Suites hotel, and me and my boyfriend will have our own room for the weekend. I only have to pay like $30 for gas and split the cost with him for the 2nd night, because the first night is covered with Marriott points my stepdad set up.

 

And then he will be coming back on an extended weekend in October, Thanksgiving which is a week, X-mas which is a MONTH, that goes through Jan, Feb he will come down for a weekend, and March he will come down for 2 weeks of Spring Break which will also mark our year anniversery, April Easter Break, and then we get out of summer the very 1st week of May and dont go back til the very end of August of beg of September.

 

Am I over reacting about the distance? Is it really not that bad? He has no doubt in his mind, I mean, NOT AT ALL that this isn't going to work and we are going to last forever. He said its only for the time being, and he is positive nothing could come between us to make his feelings fade. How do I get more like him? He is just so trusting. Of course I trust him too, but I just have doubts from time to time and am a big worrier. My mom doesnt think its that long either and says I'm going to be so busy with school.

 

Any ideas on how to cope?

[Rose21]

So some advice would be nice....thanks.

[anggrace]

"He said that my problem is, that I think the more time a couple spends apart the more the GROW apart and the more the emotional connection between them diminishes and their relationship totaly changes. How can I get out of that mindset?"

 

I use to think the same thing. My Fiance was gone for 7 months before I got to see him again. Before he left and for the first month or so after he left, I was paranoid about us "growing apart" and worried that we would no longer continue to get to know eachother (which I think is constant in a relationship). I was wrong. We grew very strong during that time apart and I've learned some VERY valuable lessons, more to come Im sure. Try not to worry so much about it. Instead put your focus on being productive and enjoying yourself while he's gone. If you both believe in eachother, you'll get through it.

[Rose21]

Okay thanks, its just hard because I've never had to do something like this before.

 

I always told myself I would NEVER do distance because I wasn't that type of person at all, never say never huh? I've also grown to realize that I've never truly loved someone this much before, Of course I wasn't willing to do distance before, I hadn't met the ONE and nobody was worth it to me.

 

I know he will never want to leave me, the only reason why it would happen would be because I was too selfish and insecure and called it off, and then later I would be kicking myself for loosing the love of my life. I don't want to make that mistake, and make him feel guilty for getting the best possible education he could get just because I get impatient I don't get to see him as much as I like, or I'm insecure and selfish.

 

I need to change that. I love him. It's just 5 weeks seems sooo long. I think just this week will be the hardest because school hasn't started for me yet.

 

After it starts it will be like less then a month until I see him. And then I will have my classes 3 days a week, actually have home work and have to study, I start my new job the day after school starts which will be a whole new exprience, and Unlike him I have ALOT of my friends I can hangout with and my family, and will just meet more friends too.

 

Not guys though. Maybe like a guy to talk to in my class, but I wont be getting any numbers or hanging out with them unless my girl friends bring a guy with them. And my boyfriend is the same way. It actually drives me crazy when guys try to hit on me. Can't stand it.

 

When before I was like a total gemini I am and always a flirt, even in relationships. Never cheating, but just a flirt. But I am soo loyal to this guy. My love sign and passion are both in Cancer so thats what keeps me grounded lol. I find astrology interesting.