Divorce, LD and some over analysing?

[Dane]

While holidaying 6 weeks ago I met a guy. He is from my country, but he lives about a 4 hour plane ride from me. We had an amazing holiday romance. We decided that when we both left, we would see how things went. I have holidays in another month so we were planning for me to go and visit him. Everything has been going really well. We have been talking almost every day and texting the other days.

 

When we were on holidays he told me about the very messy divorce his parents are going through. He is absolutely stuck in the middle. His older brother and sister are no longer speaking to his mum and his mum is apparently doing everything she can to get what money she can. He is stuck trying to mediate between his mum and his dad. Bacially it is a really horrible situation.

 

Last week I hardly heard from him. I had some texts on the Monday, then tried to call him on Wednesday but his phone went straight to message bank (I text to say I had called). I tried to call again Thursday and his phone rang out. I sent him a message saying 'Call when you get a chance'. He called later that night and apologised for not having spoken much. He basically described how everything is really messed up and how things have gotten even worse. He said 'I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be laying this on you, it's not your problem'. I assured him it was ok. The next day (yesterday) i sent him a nice message just saying I hoped he had a better day with a silly joke I had heard. He didn't repsond. I haven't heard from him today either.

 

My question is, should I just put this down to his parents divorce and all that is going on with it? As I really don't know him all that well, I don't know whether he is just trying to deal with all this and anything else is too much. I know I like to talk when I am stressed out but not everyone is like that. I want to ask him about our situation but that seems really selfish. But how do I know if he is backing off me? I don't want him to think 'I'm so stressed about this divorce and all you can think about is whether or not I'm calling you or not' but I also don't wanna wait around if he's just gently cutting me out. It probably sounds like I am jumping to conclusions, but since we've returned from holidays we've talked almost every day and yet over the last week I've had 2 texts and one 10 minute call from him. He has also missed one call of mine which he never responded to until I called again and not answered one of my texts. I know I probably sound like I'm over analysing but it's so hard to tell what he's thinking!

 

I hate LD (especailly when it's not even really a relationship!). It's so hard to guage what's going on.

 

Advice?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The thing with holiday romances is that people come back home, try to continue the fantasy but more often than not they eventually fizzle...because all it was was a brief romantic interlude while two people were away from their real world of issues and responsibilities. The vacation is a getaway from your life, and the vacation romance is the icing on the cake. Back in the real world the two people try to keep the fantasy going but is just doesn't fly because the romance was built on sand...like some travel destinations. Do not force the issue...it could be that he is wrapped up with his parent's divorce and doesn't have time for any relationship...or it could be that this has run the natural course of most holiday romances. I would suggest you let it go and carry on with your own life. Perhaps once you let it go he might contact you in his own time.

[Batya33]

I agree with COD. Nothing wrong with chalking it up to too much going on in his life if you'd rather not "go there" as far as "just not that into you" - because most likely, you'll never know. I'd leave the ball in his court (you're right not to ask about "us" since there is no "us" yet) and make no set plans to see him again unless he makes it very clear through his actions that he wants to see you.