Keeping me on the line?

[nikesnlevis]

I'm not going to go into the boring details, that all seem to somewhat be the same on these boards, but my ex and I split the end of March, early April. She moved back home (other side of the US), and in the beginning we tried the whole "friends" thing. It was back and forth with me, her never wanting to lose contact.

I tried NC twice, did pretty well I thought, but she always butted her way in, and I'd eventually cave. 5 months later, I feel about 98% healed. I still love her, and care deeply for her, but I no longer think about her everyday.

She was battling a drug problem, still is I should say, which was a greatdivider after we split up. Our communication went from everyday for a few months, to maybe 2-3 times a week, usually online.

The past month/month in a half we haven't spoken much at all. If we do, it's hi/bye, how have you been, hoop-la, nothing significant. Which is more thanlikely because she is/was usually high on drugs when we did talk, and KNEW I could tell, and always hated that I knew that side of her, so she'd disappear for a few days.

I'm on vacation now, back in my homestate, and the night before I left I had a VM from her. Which was odd, because she hadn't called in weeks. She said she remembered I was leaving, wished me a safe trip, and was thinking about me while "doing laundry today". We used to have a oddly good time when we did laundry together lol. Anyway - I kind of brushed the call off. That night she got ahold of me online, we had a short convo, where she had told me she moved back in with her folks for now to try and get clean, and stay clean. I wished her well, and that was that.

After being offline for a few days, I checked my myspace and had a comment from her (She hasn't left one in months). Here is what it read...

 

get yosefl together now cus its HIT time!

 

have a safe trip back home XXX

Things are going good out here in XX.. aunt wants me to move out here for like 6 months... HEH.. IMAGINE... ME... LIVING IN XX!? pshhh I mean its not bad its just like XXXX actually or atleast the area we were living in.

The cocnert was awesome, cant wait to get home and upload the pictures/videos

take tons of pictures out thurr for me u know how I love pictures!

love you, thank you for everything

 

blah blah blah

say hello to daddy fo.. me =)

End comment.

 

Ok, so nothing really struck me in that, except the whole "say hi to daddy for me". She never met my dad, spoke to him on the phone a couple times, but that's it. I got that on the 9th, and didn't get a chance to get online til the 13th, which is when I got another comment from her, saying..

 

what are you doing??

I'm living back home @ my parents house

pops moved into the apartment

I miss you so much

call me sometime

oh wait.. fackk i have no house phone here lol and I can only use my moms cellphone after 7pm lmfaoo i'm such a loosahh!!! NOTTTT

 

well leave me a cmmnt back let me know where I can reach you at!

love you

miss you

be good & behave

 

possitive thinking

one problem at a time

End Comment.

 

Ok sooooooo. Now she's worried about where I am? LOL. Oh man, honestly this girl is extremely hard to read, period, let alone when feelings are mixed into it. I ended up IMing her later that night just saying hey. She responded with a bunch of hearts, then didn't say another word. I wasn't about to wait, so left her the # to where I'm at, and go figure she didn't call, didn't expect her to really. But why act SO interested, for nothing? I haven't heard a peep from her since then. Which I'm find with, I'm just confused as to what's with these comments, and the I love you and miss you's.

 

Anyone?

[Dane]

Could be way off the mark here but maybe she was just feeling lonely and wanted some attention. You're an easy target because you're safe and familiar. I've been guilty of similar before. Not in quite the same way but in the 'I just want some attention to make me feel better' kind of way.

[nikesnlevis]

Makes great sense Dane. And thank you for your input. I agree, other than the fact she gets a LOT of attention outside of me. She always has guys after her, wanting to date her etc, so I don't see why now, after so much time has passed, she's craving my attention.

I should also add, we took each other off our "tops" on myspace months ago.

Just recently, the past few days, she put me back on hers. She has her best friend, cousin, then me, and the rest of her "admirers" behind me.

[nikesnlevis]

Anyone else wanna be my decipher(er)?

 

She ended up catching me online lastnight. I was in a weird mood, was getting ready to come back home from vacation visiting family, and frankly was a little depressed. We were talking in IMs, and she asked if I wanted her to call. We spoke for about an hour. She could tell I was upset, but I was quick to change the subject. She's been going through a LOT with her family, tough stuff to deal with, and she opened up/vented about that for a good while. The conversation ended with I love you's, and she thanked me for listening. Don't really know if it was a mistake to talk that long, and about deep issues, but it felt good talking to her. I really haven't missed her much at all the past couple months, until now. Crazy how some things happen.