yumicecream Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I had a friend that was perfectly happy in a friendship with me. I wanted something more and said so in a conversation. He said he wanted to sleep with me but that he didn't want a relationship. I said that I couldn't be friends with him so after some fighting we decided not to talk. He said he'd miss me but he'd get over it...or something like that. Thats the simple version. I imagined that he'd want to talk to me at some point...that he'd change his mind. Three months later its starkingly clear that that isn't the case. He never talked to me again. How can this be? Does it mean he never cared? Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 you said you didn't want to be friends with him. he took you literally. Or he aint fussed about being friends ever again, because he'd befriended her with the motive of trying to sleep with her and when he realised he wasn't going to get his wicked way, ...bye bye. I don't want a relationship, but I'd like to sleep with you. Honestly, if some guy said that to me I would be totally and utterly humiliated. Good on you for saying you couldn't and didnt want to be friends anymore. Why you would want a friend like him or be concerned as to whether he cared about you, I don't know. You are better off without his sort, in your life. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I really don't think you want to be friends or have a relationship with anyone like this. Sounds like he just wanted a F-buddy. Just another selfish user trying to suck the life out of others for their own self fullfilment. lost Link to comment
yumicecream Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 Or he aint fussed about being friends ever again, because he'd befriended her with the motive of trying to sleep with her and when he realised he wasn't going to get his wicked way, ...bye bye. I don't want a relationship, but I'd like to sleep with you. Honestly, if some guy said that to me I would be totally and utterly humiliated. Good on you for saying you couldn't and didnt want to be friends anymore. Why you would want a friend like him or be concerned as to whether he cared about you, I don't know. You are better off without his sort, in your life. Essentially, I agree. But there is more to the story; I wasn't humiliated because nothing he says is really indicative of me. Well, he didn't want to end the friendship at first...I mean, there are complications: we were good friends for a long time and he never mentioned sex. He was fine being friends without sex and thats what we were. I said I didn't want to be his friend anymore mainly b/c it brought down my self esteem b/c I was constantly wondering why I wasn't good enough. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 I really don't think you want to be friends or have a relationship with anyone like this. Sounds like he just wanted a F-buddy. Just another selfish user trying to suck the life out of others for their own self fullfilment. lost I just don't understand how I allowed myself to be so blind if this is the case. As far as sucking out the life...honestly, in a lot of ways he did...I was always wondering what was wrong with me. But in other ways: we laughed, we played, we had conversations about everything. I don't understand how I could be hung up on it but often I am. I can't wait until God brings me a man who is like me...someone who is ready for and wants something real. Link to comment
Caterina Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 He was just around b/c he was bored. He doesn't give a care about you. Its better to just forget about this guy. He just wanted to take anything he could get from you. Link to comment
jane84 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I agree with the F_buddy theory, think yourself lucky that you didn't get into a relationship with him. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yumicecream...what do you want from him? He said he doesn't want to be more than friends. You said that you can't be a friend because of your feelings. He's giving you what you wanted and staying away, that shows that he respects you. That as a friend...he cared for you. That is something to be glad for and if you want to be friends again, it's up to you to contact him. The romantic sort of caring that you're looking for right now, he never had that and isn't fair to resent him for that or think him a douche bag for it. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yumicecream...what do you want from him? He said he doesn't want to be more than friends. You said that you can't be a friend because of your feelings. He's giving you what you wanted and staying away, that shows that he respects you. That as a friend...he cared for you. That is something to be glad for and if you want to be friends again, it's up to you to contact him. The romantic sort of caring that you're looking for right now, he never had that and isn't fair to resent him for that or think him a douche bag for it. This is right, also. Of course I don't think he's a douche bag, I had a crush on the guy. Still, "He said he doesn't want to be more than friends" is probably one of the most horrible sentences I've ever read. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 This is right, also. Of course I don't think he's a douche bag, I had a crush on the guy. Still, "He said he doesn't want to be more than friends" is probably one of the most horrible sentences I've ever read. Sorry. Didn't mean to make it one of those harsh posts. I personally know how crappy that sentence is... Anyway, you might want to check out this link removed The author is a believer in the idea that opposites attract and provide the most fulfilling relationships(which I think is a bunch of malarkey), but the stuff about courtship is very interesting. Perhaps it'll give you some insight as to why things never took off with this guy of yours and why you probably wouldn't want a relationship either. Or maybe it'll give you insight into how to change the dynamic between the two of you or prevent something like this from ever happening again... But then I'm a self help junkie and this kind of stuff just keeps my brain from going into overanalyzing mode. Link to comment
tangi39 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I'm sorry this happened to you. Personally though, I think this guy is a creep. And I think you are far better off without him in your life. Be thankful you didn't get in a relationship with him. I know you had a crush on him but he clearly wasn't the man or friend you thought he was. Link to comment
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