candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Its very disturbing but i do love him and i want this relationship to work. I caught him so many times and he said he want to stop but have difficulty doing so. I wanted to believe him but deep inside i know he's addicted.He said he love me very much but now im having doubts. i think he love himself more. We seldom have sex and were just married!! If i wont complain we wont be having any in months...and the problem is i like sex very much...dont know what to do...now he refuse to talk about it...and i lost interest in bringing the topic again...too much frustrations on my part...he says all i think about is sex... For almost 2 years...only 1 position if ever we have sex...woman on top...feel so crap now... thanks for reading my post anyway... Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 He sounds very lazy. Some people just want instant gratification. They don't want to have to worry whether their partner is getting pleasure too. Have you told him how this makes you feel? Link to comment
Convoluted Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 The problem is you're selling something that's easy to get. I've been in this situation before and he's not interested in sex because you're always willing. There's no challange. Try teasing him then back off. Also do this when things start gettin hot and heavy. Make him want to get on top. wear something sexy around the house but play coy. See if that helps. Link to comment
soul_soother Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ya he sounds incredibly lazy and maybe you should trip out on him. Sometimes people don't really realize how they are until it comes to a panic moment. A marriage without sex kind of sounds like a crap marriage to me. Maybe you could get into masturbation yourself? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Do not make yourself available. Make him wait. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Do not make yourself available. Make him wait. He'll probably be ok with that. If only the world were so organized that all the people who like sex could get together and all the people who don't like sex could get together. Link to comment
redhearts Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Grab a toy and masturabate constantly in front of him, maybe it'll turn him on. Or hes craving for you to get some lingerie on, or dress up really sexy or something. Link to comment
MilesDyson Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ugh, i hate to say it, but you definatly have to hold out and make him beg for it. Now, dont missunderstand, Im a firm believer in the addage "its not about the kill, but the thrill of the hunt!". But I cant help but read the other posts similar to this as saying "dont ever put out" (sorry, maybe im dragging in my own baggage/expirences into this) Anyway, he should be more appreciative of you. It sounds like he takes you for granted. Try teasing him, or maybe some role playing. He'll get to the point where he will jump right on top of you. Good luck. PM me if you need clarification. Link to comment
redhearts Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 True, damn I'm just sorry to hear! That sucks and you have spoken with him? Maybe a sex therapist? Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ya he sounds incredibly lazy and maybe you should trip out on him. Sometimes people don't really realize how they are until it comes to a panic moment. A marriage without sex kind of sounds like a crap marriage to me. Maybe you could get into masturbation yourself? yep, tried but felt so empty. he even suggested maybe using a toy will help. i want interaction and not just plain self gratification... feel so helpless at the moment...and im starting to watch porn which i find so pathetic... Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 oh yeah i am sure he's craving for her to do all the work. and whoever said he wouldn't mind waiting. yeah. some people can wait until the end of time. youre right...he wont mind waiting... Link to comment
redhearts Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Yell at him. Thats what I think you should do, tell him you can't be in a fbeeepn marriage that has no sex because your going to go crazy!!! Tell him he can take the couch. Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 The problem is you're selling something that's easy to get. I've been in this situation before and he's not interested in sex because you're always willing. There's no challange. Try teasing him then back off. Also do this when things start gettin hot and heavy. Make him want to get on top. wear something sexy around the house but play coy. See if that helps. tried that... he lost the interest...sexy things? got plenty of them...i lost interest bec its not working... Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 Yell at him. Thats what I think you should do, tell him you can't be in a fbeeepn marriage that has no sex because your going to go crazy!!! Tell him he can take the couch. Hahaha.. i think thats a better idea...but i tried it once...and we havent spoke to each for a week just bec of that...with no effect... maybe will just resign to the fact that its not going to change... Link to comment
redhearts Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I have the solution now! LOL Step 1: Buy Idiots guide to amazing sex & a sex positions book and circle the positions where he does the work, or page mark them. Step 2: Wrap it up, put a bow on it write a letter to him saying that you would appreciate it if he took a look. Step 3: leave it somewhere for him. =] Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 I have the solution now! LOL Step 1: Buy Idiots guide to amazing sex & a sex positions book and circle the positions where he does the work, or page mark them. Step 2: Wrap it up, put a bow on it write a letter to him saying that you would appreciate it if he took a look. Step 3: leave it somewhere for him. =] Red, im a bookworm and thats the first thing i did. I even asked him to watch some informative tv shows about sex and he is just NOT interested in sex... i TRIED to learn of how to survive in a sexless marriage...but i felt resentful... Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 maybe your husband is a submale? will you explain SUBMALE? I asked him so many times if he is gay and he denied it for nth times... Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 ok..... going out on a limb here.... but do you think he might be gay? i was reading an article in self magazine called "i married a gay man." one of the online readers had the following comment, and it sounds a bit like your story: Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Red, im a bookworm and thats the first thing i did. I even asked him to watch some informative tv shows about sex and he is just NOT interested in sex... i TRIED to learn of how to survive in a sexless marriage...but i felt resentful... was he ever interested in sex? what about in the beginning of your relationship? since he is mastrubating, it seems like he DOES have some interest in sex. have you two seen a counselor? Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 was he ever interested in sex? what about in the beginning of your relationship? since he is mastrubating, it seems like he DOES have some interest in sex. have you two seen a counselor? I tried to confront him and let him acknowledge that we have an issue but keep saying to me that i would never understand him. I want to be a happy faithful wife...but i couldnt imagine a future with him now... Link to comment
Stella Sleepwalks Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ever thought about making him jealous? Seriously, all it would take is dressing up in your sexiest gear, going out and not coming back to the small hours. You can go out with your girlfriends, they can even come to the house to get ready with you, but he won't be expecting you to go out in the outfit you bought to get him excited. Link to comment
Applewhite Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I really don't know how to fix this. But I wanted to let you know I understand how frustrating it can be. Let us know what happens. Link to comment
candid86 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 was he ever interested in sex? what about in the beginning of your relationship? since he is mastrubating, it seems like he DOES have some interest in sex. have you two seen a counselor? He was performing OK in the early relationship and I am very easy to please woman so I was thinking it will be okay...i asked him before we got married if he like sex and he said yes...now if i ask him again he answers NO. I know i am deceived...am so gullible...now i am beginning to think i am stupid to marry him in the first place...i cant feel the connection now...which is terrible... ignoring him and doing the things that i wanted to do like socializing and going out with some friends sometimes makes me feel better...i feel vengeful... i just told him that i had enough and that i am not going to try too hard to make this marriage work...its a partnership and now its up to him. He didnt say a word. Link to comment
Dr Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Let him masturbate. When he's about to explode, suck him and swallow. If he doesn't find that erotic then you're really stumped. IF he does however... you know how to turn him on for sex Link to comment
Applewhite Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 ^^^ That's a good idea. Does the guy refuse a blowjob? Link to comment
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