1962Fender Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I am new to this site. I wanted a place to vent and discuss this or at least get feedback from people other than my close friends. I am also seeing a therapist regarding this, but again I wanted to type this out and get it out of my system. Any replies are appreciated. Here goes... I was married briefly many years ago. We had a son who is a child with special needs. We divorced. A few years later I met the love of my life. We connected in a way I've never felt in my entire life. Music, art, literature, sex, everything we did together was wonderful. She had some serious anger issues, but I sucked it up and took it because of how much I loved her. She would say some pretty bad things about my son, but then apologize afterward. After two years we married. Six years later, she says I want a divorce, I can't be around your son anymore. I was devastated. She had children from a previous marriage that I had accepted willingly, and yet here she was rejecting me because of my son. I moved out and moved in with friends. Fast forward two years. Over which time she has tried sporadically to make contact. For my part, I try to avoid contact because I still love her and can't seem to move on. So, she recently contacts me and wants to see me. For some reason this time I agree. We have drinks, we spend the night together. Ok, here is where it gets weird. The next day she tells me she that in the time we've been apart she has discovered that she is bisexual and poly amorous. So she is in love with two other men and one or two women. She tells me she is still in love with me and wants me in her life as one of her lovers. It was like we broke up all over again. I grieved for two solid weeks thinking of her (the woman I thought was the love of my life and would spend the rest of my life with) with other men. I think of her telling these men she loves them while making love to them. My heart is broken all over again. I'm sick with the pain. I am a one woman man, and I gave my all to be with her and to be her husband. I am so hurt and confused I have no idea what to do. It should be easy. Have no communication with her. However, this past week we've made love and spent time together. I can't seem to let her go. The sex is fantastic, which is not helping. It's as if when I'm with her all is well. She tells me everything I want to hear and makes love to me. However, I know she's doing the same damn thing with two other men (one who is married) and at least one woman when she is with them. It's breaking my heart and I don't know what to do. I feel like a crack addict that says just one more hit. I have no idea what I am expecting from this forum, but I really needed to vent. I feel like an idiot. I can't wrap my head around this poly amorous thing with her. It seems so shallow. How on Earth do you have a deep, loving, committed relationship with one guy on Wednesday, and another guy on Saturday?? And squeeze the other woman in when you can and possibly the ex husband (me). Ugh...I am at a loss. At the beginning of this week I was determined not to hurt anymore. So, no tears this whole week. I'm sick and tired of hurting. By the way, I am dating occasionally, but just haven't met anyone. I'm a decent looking guy and have had other women interested in me, but I just haven't clicked with any of them. Ok, that's my story. Thanks for reading this and letting me vent. Link to comment
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