want to break NC

[exploding head]

I want to tell her I miss her. Tell me why I shoudnt do it...

[Mock Chop]

Because in all likelihood, she won't say anything you want to hear. In fact, she may do what my ex did and say nothing at all. It would appear I'm dead to him, and believe me, that feeling is much worse than the passing roller coaster of negative emotion you're experiencing now.

[Steve 7745]

Because it's not going to bring her back. Because it empowers her, because it makes me realize that although she may miss you, she can have you back whenever she wants too, which just encourages her to keep pursuing other guys. Because it's just going to stir up more guilt in her which will make her run away even further.

 

Because there's no closure in it. Because you're hurting yourself by doing it, not letting yourself heal and forget her. Because you're giving her the ability to hurt you again. Because whatever you think you could possible gain from it is a complete lie that you're telling yourself.

 

It's over.

[exploding head]

its killing me today

[Mutley]

If you want to take a step back in your healing process...go ahead.

 

I mean, there are no right and wrong answers. Maybe you need for her to spit on you again to finally digest the truth of the matter?

[amipushy]

Because this feeling WILL pass.

[StillSmiling]

Trust those of us that have already made that mistake.

 

What I got was: 'I'm truly sorry I can't go back to what it was".

 

That last "spit" on me took me crashing right back to the beginning. It's not worth it.

[thatdoggirl]

Today is my first full day of no contact although I started it yesterday morning after we broke up and he left for work. I packed up my * * * * and left. LOL. I want to be able to keep a friendship with him but I need some time to get over it because I still feel in love with him. So I don't want to have a friendship if I have lingering feelings. My goal is to go no contact for a month like that other thread and then by then I should be strong enough to talk to him again as a friend. Hopefully, he won't hate me by then.

 

Anyway, today it is killing me as well because I feel like it is mean to do. However, it is the right thing today. You need time to heal and if you go back to talking before you are ready... before you're done with the missing her and the feelings left over. It'll just lead to more pain. Don't talk to her unless you are over it. It doesn't seem like that is the case yet. Eh, I can't really make the decision for you though... I'm just telling you that it's probably a bad idea.

[Artop]

Because if you email/text her, as soon as you push that send button, you will feel awful.

 

Because if you call her, if she didn't answer, you will feel like crap. If she answered and you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, you will feel like crap.

 

We all been through this and it's not a pretty sight when it's all said and done. Let this feeling pass and it will. One minute at a time.

[jojesse]

Don't do it. Deep down, even though logically you know it won't happen, emotionally you're hoping her for her to reply that she misses you too, but it's not going to happen. At best, she'll apologize for not feeling the same. Regardless, you'll be back at square one, of not worse. You don't need to feel any more sadness than you already are. Be strong and take care of yourself. Don't feed the feelings and they will pass eventually. If you give into them, you'll never move on.

[RedBranchKnight]

Been there myself my friend. If you tell her that, whether you realise it or not, youre gonna be hoping that she replies with 'I miss you too' and gives you some hope or that she'll have 'come to her senses' about the whole thing and say she wants you back. But, she wont. And youll just feel miserable, vulnerable and as everyone said, youll move backward in the healing and moving on process.

 

I did the exact same thing. It hurt and made it harder and looking back I wish I hadnt. At the time it was unbelievably irresistible and I honestly thought it would help things and would give her a window or oppertunity to reply that she missed me too and we could go on to reconcile from there (stupid, I know, hehe), but of course it didnt. Best of luck to ya

[journogirl]

i've been there...my messaged went unanswered and then i received an email basically very final saying goodbye saying he was sorry, saying he didnt know how hard it was, saying he hopes i find someone who can love and adore me fully and hes so sorry it cant be me

 

sometimes there is nothing left to say

 

i miss him so much but i dont want him to know that now

he broke my heart-he doesnt deserve my love anymore

 

i would have moved mountains for him and he just threw me away with no fight

 

be strong and whatever u want to say to her just say it on here ok?

 

xxx

[kuhl282000]

I want to do the same thing ....but for some strange reason I can't

[journogirl]

u want to contact her? NOOO!!!

x

[ugly-side]

I want to tell her I miss her. Tell me why I shoudnt do it...

 

Because you are a man, you have pride, and you have respect for yourself, and you know know deep down you NEED to move on. Feels kinda like a drug after a while, the pain. I'm afraid you'll overdose if you contact her. Did she leave you?

[istillluvu06]

What do You do when ex keeps contacting (texting)you, saying he misses you more than he lets on, and says he was wrong too....blah blah.

Is this closure for him or is he trying to reconnect?

It's hurting hearing these things very much. We still have some financial things and I still have most of my things at his house and shop.

[beebee]

i want so much to tell you to call her, but i cant... i dont know the circumstances of your breakup, but i will concur with all the other posters and say exactly what they have said...

if i had to do it all over again, i would have just walked away and never called EVER...

not calling her will make her wonder... where is he?... whats he doing?... who is he with?... how dare he get over me so quickly!... the questions she will have are endless... she will start asking friends about you and may, MAY call you...

dont call darling... its not worth it...

 

God bless... beebee

[ahop]

I have the same struggle everyday myself. Somedays I want to contact her to tell her I want to see her.. Somedays I want to let her know that she hurt me, somedays I just want to send her a sentimental lyric from a song that we used to text back and forth to each other.. everyday I get so close but won't do it.

 

We ended very peacefully and with no drama.. she went off traveling and taking the summer off and I didn't want to be the guy waiting around for her.. She was hoping that I would do that, but gave me no promises that we could be back to where we were. She said for the first time in her life she has no concrete plan and that she's happy with that. I had to let her go her own way, which I know she appreciated after it was said and done.

 

I haven't seen or talked to her in almost 3 months.. it's so sad. I'm having a tough time, wondering what she's doing, who she's with.. and to know that she's around again and that I could call her makes it so painful.. But if I called her, what would I say to her? She would talk about all that she's done and I really haven't done much since she left.. I would feel stupid y'know? So I let it be.. I know I'll run into her sooner than later.. but I wish that the next time we talk would be her contacting me.. her wanting to talk to me and not feeling obligated to when she see's me.. and the thought of seeing her with another man makes me feel dreadful.. it's starting to conquer my mind.

 

I still check my e-mail and myspace with the underlying hope that I may see a message from her. I know it's not gonna happen. Losing her dug down deeper than anything that I have ever known..