Does fun girl = guy will never be interested in anything more?

[ImThatGirl]

ITG.....I get what you're asking....I think some of my best relationships started out just as you described...doing fun, casual stuff in the beginning and then it eventually turned into something romantic and long term. I'm not a guy, but I think they'd appreciate you more for being so 'fun' and thus makin it easier to see themselves in a longterm relationship....as opposed to jumpin into the romantic crap up front..Make sense?

 

Makes complete sense Chica~~~~ Thanks for your input!

[SeaBisquit]

i had what i thought was fwb. then one night i got really mad at him. i told him i never wanted to see him again. he called me like over ten times. when i finally answered the phone he told me that he loved me. it blew my mind and i think it did his. he realized that i could of been gone forever.

[ghost69]

yes, a relationship COULD form in any situation if that is what you are asking.

 

but i don't take my female friends to dinner. if we do, it's as a group of friends.

[SeaBisquit]

don't most guys dislike dating? wouldn't they rather it be more casual?

[itsallgrand]

My experience has been much the same as amtjrtcet's.

 

Rarely use the language of dating, and rarely getting into the meaty discussions about where a relationship stands until in the thick of it (usually starting off casually and moving to levels of intimacy).

 

It is courting but it's less formal than what some might consider dating.

 

Both people know what is going on too.

 

On a side note, I find this whole formal dating thing very hard! And it feels unnatural for me.

 

So if that's what you are talking about, then I see no reason why it can't work it's own way and lead to relationships. Why not.

 

It just Xs out those guys who want to do things a certain way, or have certain beliefs about how a woman "must behave and hold out" in order to be worthy to get serious with.

 

And yeah, there are some who will decide you are trash simply because you are ok with what you are ok with. But hey, everyone has their own rules about these things.

[ghost69]

don't most guys dislike dating? wouldn't they rather it be more casual?

 

i like dating....when i'm interested in the girl.

[ImThatGirl]

So I wanna share that usually I'm the girl that everything has to be talked about... commitment, exclusivity, blah blah blah.... The one that watches actions and expects words to back them up. Almost to a fault. But yeah... that's the way I typically work. And I mostly expect that if a guy is interested in being in a serious relationship, he will make that very clear. Until he does, there's no expecatations allowed...

[SeaBisquit]

so how long do you usually date a girl for?

[ghost69]

so how long do you usually date a girl for?

 

i think she dates guys.

[ImThatGirl]

i think she dates guys.

 

lol - Yeah - I do date guys...

 

Think Jay may have been posting in response to your last post.

[ghost69]

so how long do you usually date a girl for?

 

lol - Yeah - I do date guys...

 

Think Jay may have been posting in response to your last post.

 

oh, well, if that's the case. as long as we get along and are still compatible enough. i've have dated girls from a month to 4.5 years.

[SeaBisquit]

lol, i was asking that questions for the guys.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It really does depend on the guy and whether or not he too falls for the woman he is just having fun with. More often than not the woman wants more and the guy doesn't...but sometimes the guy wants more and the woman doesn't. Anybody who embarks on a "just for fun" casual relationship with sex has to accept the emotional risks involved. If they do fall in love and want more but the other person doesn't, well, "them's the breaks". It is like going to Vegas and gambling several thousand dollars...you have to accept that the risk is losing all of the money..so if you lose, you can't complain to the management since you knew what you were getting into.

[chocolates]

ITG.....I get what you're asking....I think some of my best relationships started out just as you described...doing fun, casual stuff in the beginning and then it eventually turned into something romantic and long term. I'm not a guy, but I think they'd appreciate you more for being so 'fun' and thus makin it easier to see themselves in a longterm relationship....as opposed to jumpin into the romantic crap up front..Make sense?

 

 

i think thats a really interesting take on this.

 

i really think all guys want is someone fun and easygoing

[JadedStar]

You can't really answer this question generally speaking because it always depends on the individual guy. He may not be interested in her in that way. Maybe he is. Or maybe it will develop.

 

But no one can answer this because we wouldn't be in his head and we don't know.

 

Sure it has happened. But how often no one could say for sure as i don't think any studies have ever been conducted.

[JadedStar]

It really does depend on the guy and whether or not he too falls for the woman he is just having fun with. More often than not the woman wants more and the guy doesn't...but sometimes the guy wants more and the woman doesn't. Anybody who embarks on a "just for fun" casual relationship with sex has to accept the emotional risks involved. If they do fall in love and want more but the other person doesn't, well, "them's the breaks". It is like going to Vegas and gambling several thousand dollars...you have to accept that the risk is losing all of the money..so if you lose, you can't complain to the management since you knew what you were getting into.

 

 

LOL Jinx. This is basically the same thing I was trying to say in my post. It is definitely a gamble that no one can predict because the guy's feelings in question are up to him.

[ImThatGirl]

Thanks for your responses all..

 

I just want to reiterate this thread is not about any specific people. It's not asking "Will so and so fall in love with me??"

 

It's a question as to opinion from as many people as would like to post... lol

[JadedStar]

Thanks for your responses all..

 

I just want to reiterate this thread is not about any specific people. It's not asking "Will so and so fall in love with me??"

 

It's a question as to opinion from as many people as would like to post... lol

 

 

I was actually responding to that question. I am not referring to specifics, but i am saying that the reason we can't answer it accurately is because every guy is different and we can't say that yes they normally do fall for the girl because we don't know. And there are no stats out there from which we can cite.

 

LIke i said, sure it happens, but whether that is the norm or a positive trend i cannot say with any degree of accuracy.

[chocolates]

I think that what the poster is asking is whether a guy basically thinks "less" of a girl, for being "fun". And whether her chances of dating a guy seriously are ruined if she sleeps with him early on.

 

The fact is i think, that generally a guy DOES think less of a girl for wanting sex early, and being a FWB, because he thinks , well if she is that easy with me, then theres no reason she wouldnt be easy with lots of guys. So thereforee this girl is less likely to be seen as serious relationship material.

 

There are just different standards for women than there are for men.

[JadedStar]

I think that what the poster is asking is whether a guy basically thinks "less" of a girl, for being "fun". And whether her chances of dating a guy seriously are ruined if she sleeps with him early on.

 

The fact is i think, that generally a guy DOES think less of a girl for wanting sex early, and being a FWB, because he thinks , well if she is that easy with me, then theres no reason she wouldnt be easy with lots of guys. So thereforee this girl is less likely to be seen as serious relationship material.

 

There are just different standards for women than there are for men.

 

 

Again, we cannot answer that because smoe guys WILL think she is not worthy of dating and others won't.

[ycmanvs]

I am really trying to figure this out. Most of my long term relationships started off as casual ones and they turned into serious relationships, once we got to know eachother better.

[ramsickle1369]

DOn't most relationships work that way? What is defined in dating these days anyway? I thought it meant hanging out and doing things and yet having the option to do those things with someone else until things get serious. Somehow people today all seem to see it as all or nothing...

[Imprecision]

Note: "fun time" here is wholesome, adventurous fun. I do not refer to sex. A girl should withhold sex from a guy for as long as she can.

 

Simple.

 

It's easier to go from "fun time" to "serious relationship" than vice versa. This is why you should always begin a relationship with "fun time."

 

Moreover, if a girl is "fun time" to begin with, then she will appear to have higher social value. This way, the guy is hooked by her. It's easy for her to transition into "serious relationship," unless the guy has high social value himself.

 

(Most guys are inept. They have few options. Usually, their option is between a girl and no girl.)

 

During "fun time," a guy must constantly prove himself to the girl. He must provide "fun." If he's not fun, then the girl can cut him off easily. Extending "fun time" as long as possible is her best option. This way, she strings him along, he invests more and more effort, but she herself is free to dump him.

 

If a guy has high social value, you can't pressure him into a relationship. But if he is looking for a relationship, he would prefer a memorable girl - a "fun time" girl.

[ramsickle1369]

I'm not sure I followed that... Are you saying that if a girl who has needs and likes sex just as much as the guy gives it up, then it's no longer "fun"?

[Imprecision]

Ahaha, yeah, my post was confusing.

 

I define "fun time" as: The girl is not committed. She has several suitors. She hangs out with all of them.

 

"Sex": self-explanatory.

 

A girl raises her social value, if she doesn't take men seriously. A girl should prolong "fun time" as long as possible. She should not commit herself. Instead, each suitor must prove himself. Also, he does not know his standing in relation to his competitors. Only the girl knows the scores. She rewards good behaviour and punishes bad behaviour. This way, each suitor invests more and more effort, even though the girl is free to cut him off without notice.

 

Sex should be withheld, so that people don't call her loose.