ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Curious - Another thread made me curious about something.... Example: Woman likes to date, likes to have a good time, maybe even is physical with a guy. She doesn't want to be in a relationship at really. Then as she begins to spend time with the guy more, gets to know him and starts to like him, she slowly starts to change her mind. Since the friendship/relationship was built on "this is just fun times," does that mean that the guy will most likely not view her as someone he'd ever be serious with? What if it's moreso a friendship/dating where two people just go with the flow and see how it ends up. Not what I understand to be a fwb (isn't fwb an arranged agreement between two people?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 fwb doesn't have to be an arranged agreement. it's just kind of known nothing is going to go further. but sometimes one wants more than fwb. sounds like it's you here. is this what you are saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Good question. I would think that if the guy wanted a relationship at the beginning, and she wanted to be friends...then later wanted a relationship, he'd probably still like her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProtestTheHero Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 I think a lot of guys would feel pressured into the role of now switching from casual guy to "boyfriend." Unless he feels as strongly about it as you do the chances of it happening are slim. I certainly wouldn't bank on it just as a precautionary measure...don't wanna set yourself up to get hurt. If I was the girl I'd just start paying close attention to the feelings/vibes that he was giving off as things go along before I made a move like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catdancer Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 In my screwed up past, my bf and I started out as FWB. But there was just more between us and we both felt it. Eventually, (it took a while) we became exclusive with each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 fwb doesn't have to be an arranged agreement. it's just kind of known nothing is going to go further. but sometimes one wants more than fwb. sounds like it's you here. is this what you are saying? No, it's not me here.... Seriously - just curiosity mostly. In another thread, we came up with this thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 it can really go either way. i'd say something like 85% of FWBs will not end up together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 So what if there were a few dates first? I mean I read about people having sex early on in this forum and the relationships go well. So how does that work? I guess when reading about it, I just assumed that sometimes they have discussions about it but sometimes two people go out a few times, have sex, and the relationship just grows in time. But that can't be true if spending time together, having fun, having sex without talking about it can NEVER turn into a relationship...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 to me, with FWBs, you don't go on dates. rather i'd just meet out with them and hang out with friends and what not, have some drinks, then go get it on. no dates though. it's very casual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 If the guy is mature, of course he won't think like that... if he is immature, yes he will..... but who would want an immature boy anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 to me, with FWBs, you don't go on dates. rather i'd just meet out with them and hang out with friends and what not, have some drinks, then go get it on. no dates though. it's very casual. So can we take the FWB out of this then and assume it's after a few dates? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsickle1369 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Well, this is interesting. I always just figured it was the way of things. You meet. You like each other enough to hang out. You talk and hang out some more... Maybe it gets more physical (BAM--it becomes one or the other FWB or exclusive) Seems there isn't any real DATING any more... This one guy swears he doesn't date, but he takes women out or meets me for a drink and such. But it's not a date? Why is that word so scary anyway? Does it mean exclusive only? To me, dating does NOT mean excluise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 So can we take the FWB out of this then and assume it's after a few dates? lol what are you asking? is it okay to sleep with somoene? sure, why not? will they lose interest? they might. i'm not them. nobody here can tell you yes or no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 I think there's a difference between rolling the dice with two people who are undecided and having a good time together and seeing how it goes...not declaring intent... and a FWB where it pretty easy to see that one or both are ONLY in it for the good times. Casual dating versus FWB. Casual dating can have sex. Will have some dates. FWB is mostly just sex and someone calls out, in one way or another, "I don't want a relationship right now, and I certainly don't want one with you." If that sounds cruel, well then what the hell. Going into that with hopes of it turning to anything is like betting on a dead horse. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 what are you asking? is it okay to sleep with somoene? sure, why not? will they lose interest? they might. i'm not them. nobody here can tell you yes or no. C'mon now Man! No I'm not asking if it's okay to sleep with someone. I'm not asking what any specific guy may think either. Just looking for opinions. I'm asking ---> Do guys automatically think of the girl that likes to have fun and has sex with them without discussing exclusivity as just the fun girl... Do those facts eliminate the possibility of it ever becoming a serious relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 FWB is mostly just sex and someone calls out, in one way or another, "I don't want a relationship right now, and I certainly don't want one with you." If that sounds cruel, well then what the hell. Going into that with hopes of it turning to anything is like betting on a dead horse. lol. Agree completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
george237 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 I think this depends on every guy. There are some that just want to sleep with you and once they accomplish loose interest. There are more that want to have a relationship and will continue as long as you still fit thier idea of a match for them. Then there are others who loose interest in you because they changed thier mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 C'mon now Man! No I'm not asking if it's okay to sleep with someone. I'm not asking what any specific guy may think either. Just looking for opinions. I'm asking ---> Do guys automatically think of the girl that likes to have fun and has sex with them without discussing exclusivity as just the fun girl... Do those facts eliminate the possibility of it ever becoming a serious relationship? absolutely not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 As I said before it really depends on the guy, one of the best relationships I had I slept with the guy on the first night. He was awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 As I said before it really depends on the guy, one of the best relationships I had I slept with the guy on the first night. He was awesome! hahaha - ShikaShika - I don't think I've seen you around for a bit. Nice to see ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shikashika Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 hahaha - ShikaShika - I don't think I've seen you around for a bit. Nice to see ya! yeah I haven't even been lurking! back for a while anyway! nice to see you too.. all these new posters have come up since I've been here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 Well, this is interesting. I always just figured it was the way of things. You meet. You like each other enough to hang out. You talk and hang out some more... Maybe it gets more physical (BAM--it becomes one or the other FWB or exclusive) Seems there isn't any real DATING any more... This one guy swears he doesn't date, but he takes women out or meets me for a drink and such. But it's not a date? Why is that word so scary anyway? Does it mean exclusive only? To me, dating does NOT mean excluise. To that guy, he probably knows that traditionally dating is something you do to get to know someone better and decide if you want to be in a serious relationship with them. When I go out with someone I can't see dating seriously, I call it "hanging out." Mind you these are non-physical outtings... With the only intent being dinner and conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 ITG.....I get what you're asking....I think some of my best relationships started out just as you described...doing fun, casual stuff in the beginning and then it eventually turned into something romantic and long term. I'm not a guy, but I think they'd appreciate you more for being so 'fun' and thus makin it easier to see themselves in a longterm relationship....as opposed to jumpin into the romantic crap up front..Make sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 To that guy, he probably knows that traditionally dating is something you do to get to know someone better and decide if you want to be in a serious relationship with them. When I go out with someone I can't see dating seriously, I call it "hanging out." Mind you these are non-physical outtings... With the only intent being dinner and conversation. still a date to me. if i wasn't serious, i wouldn't date them. otherwise, i'd call them when out with friends to come hang out and drink or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 still a date to me. if i wasn't serious, i wouldn't date them. otherwise, i'd call them when out with friends to come hang out and drink or something. Well... for me it's only a date if I call it a date. lol And it wasn't dating them, it was hanging out with them. What's wrong with spending time with the opposite sex as friends? Ok, ok, ok... I guess it could be misleading... But if all actions point the other direction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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