Nearwater Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 How you ended a relationship is how you will always be remembered. Something Dumpers never thought about! Me- Months of kind letters, gifts, financial support and outpouring of true love Her- lying, cheating, keeping the gifts and money and shutting me angrily out of her so-called-life while carrying on with a still married man with kids. "When trust has been breached, so has respect--and second chances can be very few and far between. Whether you've chosen to step away from a new relationship or an long-established one, how you orchestrate its ending is crucial, because it's typically what someone remembers most about you." from removed[/i] Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 The *dumper* is probably past caring, what the *dumped* thinks of them... Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 either way its never easy and it affects a lot of people ..... and it leaves scars ...... Link to comment
Rising Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 It sounds like you had a very generous and one-sided exit from the relationship... though I don't think that sort of strategy gives the impression you might have intended. She may have thought you were trying to buy back her love or woo her back with the letters and 'outpouring of love'. Her lying, cheating and selfishness deserved a colder shoulder in my opinion. Best of luck from here on out. -Rising Link to comment
Nearwater Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 Rising, In hindsight the cold shoulder may have been fine, for some. No one would have faulted me for it, but that action would not have been true to my feelings or who I am as a person. I did extensive yard-work and landscaping, buffed out her car, cleaned her house,windows and other loving but not material things. If anything I will be remembered as thoughtful, loving and giving, as I was throughout our years together. My openness to working out problems and supporting her in all she did will be hard to replace, especially given her current choices. Maybe in time that will be fondly remembered, which is all I guess we can hope for... Link to comment
Karmageddon Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Rising, In hindsight the cold shoulder may have been fine, for some. No one would have faulted me for it, but that action would not have been true to my feelings or who I am as a person. I did extensive yard-work and landscaping, buffed out her car, cleaned her house,windows and other loving but not material things. If anything I will be remembered as thoughtful, loving and giving, as I was throughout our years together. My openness to working out problems and supporting her in all she did will be hard to replace, especially given her current choices. Maybe in time that will be fondly remembered, which is all I guess we can hope for... Selfish people have a way of finding us...the giving, loving and loyal. We (I) still cannot fathom acting any other way towards someone that I care deeply for. Which in turn leaves me completely floored, when once again someone I love does amazingly hurtful things, knowing full well what they are doing. They are emotional vampires and takers and because we are givers there is a weird connection to that akin to alcoholics and co-dependants. I for one am now working hard to figure out what it is about me, that attratcts that & how to recognize it sooner. The people I have been with are very giving and sweet in the beginning, but shortly the true colors come out. Link to comment
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